If you have kids in secondary school what do you think were the most beneficial activities pre secondary?

[Bookwanderer]

My dc do loads of clubs & extra curriculars, enjoy them all. Just out of curiosity what extracurriculars would have been of most benefit to your dc's in secondary?
Swimming a non negotiable for mine.

My daughters is Girlguiding (about to be taken away from her thanks to GGUK cancelling BGO) and golf. I know we are overseas but I know the club near my Mum in the UK has very reasonably priced junior golf lessons. Both have been great for her as she has met other children from different schools. Fresh air as well, she's a teenager now so would prefer to be in bed with a book.

Drama type clubs or activities. Develops self expression, flexibility and confidence.

Swimming and Pony Club. The latter has given her a fantastic friendship group across a whole age span of 8-19 yrs old outside of school and somewhere to go in school holidays through pony club camp/days.

Dancing. My dd had a big group of friends outside of her school friends - met through dance, and in different year groups. She barely mentions anyone from primary now, but remained close with dance friends. They’ve all had things in different lessons / examinations / shows that they have struggled with, excelled in etc. But they really rally around each other and support each other.

forest school. Same reasons.

Football for DS and drama for DD. In both cases for a group of like-minded (and local-ish) friends who outlast school transitions and are separate from classroom politics.

Playing an instrument. My daughter has made lots of friends, of varying ages, via school bands and orchestras. There's a real sense of 'togetherness' which the music (and drama) department/s foster and she has an extraordinary relationship with her music teachers - it feels like she'll stay in contact with them well after she leaves school.

She also plays football outside school which has been great for working together as a team. They don't win every match but there's an underlying ethos of never giving up, showing up, playing to the best of your ability.

For my child - dance!!

I am also going to say sports:- unquestionably being physically fit improves confidence, working as a part of a team improves teamwork, social skills and well being. Coaches are “allowed” to be tougher, stricter and demand more than parents and the kids allow it. They can also see the bigger picture of “those who perform well make the team” they deal with possibly unfair decisions more often and learn how these are negotiated. They learn resilience and emotional strength. Alot of the coaches today also do a lot of work on emotional maturity, goal setting and instilling good values.

However, asa female who wasn’t that sporty, the “fun” clubs are also good. Ones where you just play fames, relax and take it easy. One of my kids still
misses his social club where they used to play ps4 and hang out. Different set of values but still good.

Brownies and cubs. 100%

Also mine spent lots of time out playing with friends in the street and I think that was the best thing for them in terms of social development and educational and, tbh, just having a nice childhood.

I think every child should have swimming lessons and piano lessons for at least a few years.

Scouts, Swimming, Rugby, Riding, Netball, Tennis, Chess, Sailing (occasionally) are the main ones ours did. They didn't want to learn instruments (which massively pained me) until they got to secondary, or do any sort of drama/stageschool type of stuff.

Honestly, jack shit for ds.

All the time and money spent on activities when he was younger which he enjoyed, he couldn’t be arsed with past the age of 12.

He’s 21 now and when I dug out all the medals for fencing and certificates for drama from the loft, he could hardly remember any of them.

He’s extremely confident and outgoing, excelling in his career so maybe all those years of activities and clubs helped somewhat.

He was always confident and outgoing from tiny though, so would probably have been that was without any activities.

It’ll be different for everyone. For mine it was dance.

it really helped my very introverted dd1 to gain so much confidence.

Football for DD, rugby for DS, cricket and an instrument for both. Swimming stopped around the age of 8-9, once they could swim a couple of lenghts we called it a day.

Transition to secondary school was tricky here. The major benefit of having extra curricular sport was being in a team that was completely separate from school.

No overlap with classmates, meant child could enjoy training and socialising with team mates.

Child has been part of the sport club for 10 years and has solid friendships there. They know child as an accomplished team player, not the child who cried at school and struggled to attend class.

Swimming and scouting.

I think Park Run (they started with junior park run) will be something they do on and off for the rest of their life.

I completely agree. My son isn't sporty at all and has no interest in football. He finds this very difficult to navigate socially as all his mates have started playing football at lunch time. I wish the school would put on more activities for children during lunchtimes to help with this. They have a Lego club one day but nothing else

I really think it's whatever your DC's "thing" is. For one of mine that's cadets: he truly thrives there and it's been the making of him. It's exposed him to people from a variety of backgrounds, given him the chance to undertake his DofE Bronze and Silver awards in the past two years and also led him to lots of volunteering. He particularly enjoys helping at the local food bank, and it makes sure he is completely grounded.

For DD it's horseriding, which has done so much for her confidence I can't even begin to explain. I credit it with her overcoming her selective mutism, as well as teaching her dedication, hard work, listening skills and maintaining her fitness. She's also stuck at swimming for much longer than her brothers did: they are all competent and water-safe, but she's very good. Recently completed the Swim England stages and she's only y4 (9), which considering the disruption of covid isn't half bad IMO. Brownies has also been invaluable.

We've not quite found DS2s niche yet, but I'm sure it'll come. He has ASD and needs to move to specialist provision. I suspect he'll find himself more then.

Beavers, Cubs and Scouts, definitely. My son isn't that sporty but discovered a love of hiking, climbing and camping through scouts, plus activities such as laser tag and mountain biking that he never would have tried otherwise. And we did lots of badges at home, which he takes a real pride in and taught him loads. He's 14 and an Explorer now and has just done his chef badge and is doing his bronze D of E.

DS: Football, so they know how to play even if they never played for 1st side , they can join in the lunchtime games with competence.

Both: Swimming, skating, countryside walks (DoE boost), cycling, brownies/cadets/cubs.

DD: Judo!! Could flip any annoying lad over & smile with charm while doing it and be afforded respect thereafter.

Another vote for music! It's been fantastic - given DD friends outside of school, a music tribe, a skill that gives her confidence. It also is great for focus and concentration - some kids struggle with this because of so many competing screens etc.

And then there's just the music, which keeps on giving. She plans to keep playing at university, for pleasure and stress busting.

Rugby by a long way. Our son does both football and rugby and rugby is so much more sociable for us. We are all going away together, we stay after rugby for drinks and food every single week, kids play in the woods while the adults chat. Our local club is just brilliant and have links to a premiership club so their coaches come down and train the kids regularly they have had the most amazing opportunities to play at the premiership club and have played at Twickenham in front of 71,000 people and the list goes on. From my son’s current school none of his classmates are going to his secondary school but at least a third of his rugby team are as it’s a school big on rugby and he is so excited about that. We now support the premiership club our club is linked to and it’s become something our whole family are passionate about and we love going to watch games together. Rugby is strong in respect and it has taught our son so much and he is desperate to play every chance he can. Literally him joining the rugby club has been life changing for all of us as we have all made such an amazing group of supportive and lovely friends.

Based on my own experience rather than my daughter, music (specifically an ensemble instrument). Endless opportunity to play in orchestras and groups outside school, great for resilience and having a wider social circle.

Football is so socially important for boys. DH insisted that our son do a couple of years of football in primary for this reason, just so that he knew how to play. I was sceptical because DS wasn't interested in football at that point, but DH was right. Being able to join in when the inevitable football appears is valuable, they dont have to play well. It gave DS confidence to join in and a love of sport and fitness. Also Scouts.