I have messed up so much

[Highandhellwater]

I feel as if I have lost control of my life.

I have been having insurance work done on the house and after several years it is finally completed. In February I sent the last form in and then heard nothing. I contacted the company who did the work at the end of last week and they said that the company who commissioned the work would send the certificate. I was about to get in touch with the company to ask when I could expect to receive it (they have form for taking a very long while to respond), searched my emails and discovered an unread email from February with a certificate attached. I don't know why I have only just seen it, but I was offered a new job in February, was dealing with family ill health, and somehow I missed it. The problem is that the certificate is incorrect. I tried to call the company on Friday morning (left a message), and I emailed them as well, but haven't heard back yet - I know it is only a few working hours later. If I had seen the email earlier and caught it all would have been fine, but by missing the email I messed up. The whole process has been hugely stressful and I have ostriched for periods in the past, and now it has accidentally happened again.

My new job should be a source of joy, but the appointment process has been a nightmare. It was slowed by my passport being away for renewal and they couldn't start things until they had seen it. The most recent catch is that one of my referees has not replied, it is almost a fortnight (they wouldn't send for references until my DBS was back) and I am supposed to start there a week tomorrow. Past job gave me a reference for my current job, but my imposter syndrome is out in force and I am convinced that they are going to give a poor reference - of course now all I can see are the things that didn't go well in that post and not the achievements. HR is not a strong point for the organisation, and one of the people involved has form for making things difficult. The new employer is a local authority and were very specific about who they wanted as a referee. When I received the email last Friday saying that they were still waiting for a ref, I replied and offered three other people as possibilities (one who was in that organisation and knew me better but is now retired, one who manages part of my current job, and one who I worked with in my previous job but is at that LA).

I'm sorry this is so long. It has been quite cathartic to type it out. I can't imagine anyone has been in the same circumstances, but any words of advice or support would be gratefully received.

I don't see how any of that is messing up. It's all easily solvable.

None of this seems irresolvable:

• your insurance certificate will get sorted, they will reply eventually and if they haven’t by the end of the week you can call them.
• your referee will reply eventually and if they don’t you can contact someone else. The worst case scenario is you start a week or two later. Presumably you haven’t handed in your notice at your existing job yet?

I have handed in my notice - I am due to start next Tuesday. My last day of work is Sunday and I had to give a month’s notice. I had no reason to expect my past employer to take so long to write the reference when they had completed one for me in the past…

That was a little bit silly, you shouldn’t even hand your notice in until all the i’s are dotted and t’s are crossed but it’s not not irresolvable. You will still start, it might just be a week or two later

Reference is sorted. I spent my breaks on Monday and Tuesday contacting anyone I could think of at my previous job and it turns out that a former colleague’s husband is deputising for the person who should have written the reference but is on leave. He wrote the reference that night, I have all the confirmation paperwork through and will be starting next week as planned. Phew. The recruitment process has been a lot more formalised and intense than previous jobs, and I certainly know what to do differently next time.

I finally managed to get through to the insurance company on the phone and a corrected certificate has been sent. I need to question a few things, but hopefully that will be sorted in the next week or so.

So yes, it all worked out, but this time last week I got myself into quite a panic. I think if it had been just one thing I could have coped, but it was those together, plus a few other smaller but time consuming things all coming at once which led to a doom spiral…. Thanks for the reassuring comments.

So pleased you got it all sorted, when you are juggling everything its v easy to have 1 ball disappear out of view unnoticed and v stressful to be relying on other people sorting out something like a reference.
Good luck in the new job!