How to get over not feeling good enough

[Imamumgetmeoutofhere]

Just that really. I don't even know why it's now I'm feeling this, but for a few weeks I've been having niggly feelings about not feeling good enough.

I have 2 DC age 15 and 8 with my husband. I've always worked part time ever since having them as finances allow for this.

But recently I just feel like I'm letting everyone down. I'm letting work down as I'm not full time and can't do overtime so I'm (in my head) not as committed as everyone else and don't get as much work done.

At home it's a mess. I can't always do all the house work, it needs a good vacuum, the beds are overdue a change and the laundry is over flowing. We rely too much on pre made meals and I shout too much as I'm stressed and constantly feel overwhelmed. Then feel guilty if I sit and read or watch tv on a day off (when kids are at school).

I don't always read with the youngest every night as I'm shattered. I couldn't even tell you what my eldest is currently doing at school as I don't get much time with him as he's either at school, sports club or out with his mates, the only days he's home at a suitable time to spend with him are days I'm working.

I do 2 x long days and am out the house 12 hours on those days and am out the house 7 hours on my half day - 40 min commute each way.

It feels like I'm letting both sides down and that I'm pretty useless.

Sorry it's a bit rambling, but my heads a state right now.

How do I ease these feelings of guilt?

I think how you feel is very common and you may just have too much on your plate for you.

Dont rely on what other people manage to do in a day to decide what you should be doing. For various reasons I have low energy and have learned to pace myself. But for years I measured my productivity against others and found myself to be wanting.

Perhaps you could look at your schedule and logically work out how much free time you really have and schedule in those things that are really important to you, it may be naps, reading with your children etc.

Im retired now and looking back with hindsight on my life I can see that a messy house was not as important to my well-being as time spent recharging.

Is your husband able and willing to help? Because he bloody well should be.

I don’t know how to stop the guilt, it’s been my go to forever. Just keep telling yourself that you are good enough.

Sounds like you could do with a reset. Start with your gp and see if everything is ok, simple things like iron and thyroid.
Next, you time, you sound depressed. Maybe some counselling to work out where you are and what you need to process.
Does your work work for you? I realise not all work is a calling, but does it work for you? Do you need a few sessions with a work coach or a career advisor, some additional training for fresh fields?
You mentioned your diet is too processed; start making small changes, and that includes your partner too.
Ruts are uncomfortably comfortable. Time to climb out.