How do you thaw an argument with DH?

[BrassicaBabe]

A tad light hearted. A tad I'm just curious.

DH did something that can't be rolled back. I've yelled. He's said his bit. I slammed the door. Most satisfying!

We are never going to agree on this one. At some point it is what it is.

I'm now being childish and not ready to forgive and let him off the hook. I don't want to speak to him, make eye contact etc. Pissed off enough for the day to end like this. I'll still be enough pissed off tomorrow.

So what do you guys do?!

I'd have a statement night in the spare room. But our bed is SO much more comfortable 🤣

Send him to the spare room? I've heard there's an equivalent of love languages called apology languages. I need reparations - an apology only means something if it's accompanied by action. DH needs a forthright "I fucked up, I'm sorry, I'll not do it again". What do you need?

The transgressor makes a cup of tea to open the conversation

Aagh life's too short you know.
I usually end up telling DH he talks a load of shite and laughing at him trying to claim the moral high ground.
Mostly I forget that I am cross and just carry on as ever.

I'm a terrible sulker. I find it really hard to let go of an argument and fume for ages.
It's a horrible habit and it's usually OH who breaks the ice.

I can't abide sulking and I can't go to bed on an argument so we discuss it when we're both calm and both say our bit. We won't always agree but we do draw a line under it once each of us has said what we have to say. Then again we've never had an argument about anything really major so it's never needed to spill into another day!

I think it partly depends what happened? Can you give anymore detail?

But it sounds like you are still really upset. So what do you need to be able to move forward?

if you aren’t going to agree then is it something you can live with?

I do think it depends what it is and if any party agrees they are in the wrong.

"Apology body language "! That's probably it @MuggleMe

It's along the lines of, but not quite as bad, but I can't think of another example.... he had my long term sick cat put down without telling me and he knew I wouldn't agree.

Yes I'm sulking. But using my crappy example there is no "cat coming back from the dead". So at some point I have to just move on.

Well, without knowing I can't say. But if.my dh put my cat down without telling me, I would.never forgive him and I suspect the relationship would be doomed forever.

We agree to disagree on things like how much sleep people need or how much interaction to have with the PTA. But we don't agree to disagree on things that intrinsically affect either of us.