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Original poster

People never seem to really like me...

34 replies

onetow · 23/04/2023 13:38

On the inside I would describe myself and really friendly and happy person. I would always go out of my way to make people feel comfortable if they were being left out or go over to someone to include them in a conversation etc. however, I don't really know how to describe what I'm trying to say other than people don't really seem to like me. They don't gravitate towards me or seem to make much of an effort with me. I just mustn't be as nice as what I think I am in my head. I just feel miserable today

OP posts:
Original poster
onetow · 23/04/2023 14:56

1930toEdinburgh · 23/04/2023 14:41

The husband of the lady you nodded to may not have wanted to chat to avoid his wife kicking off with jealousy ?
Perhaps the people he shook hands with were known to them ?

You do sound like you expect people to chat to you- which may give off needy vibes.

I have v low expectations and never expect people to randomly chat to me. Mostly people don't which is fine but if they do I chat to them happily but I don't expect it. Especially not from a couple.

That's great feedback, sometimes I maybe only see things from my own perspective but that's great feedback

OP posts:
PollyAmour · 23/04/2023 14:56

Please don't think this is because of your weight and how you look. People (most of them) aren't that shallow. There will be a myriad of reasons why the couple didn't chat to you. The woman may have been really shy and reluctant to start up a conversation with someone she didn't know.

I doubt very much you are giving off needy vibes. Just relax and be yourself. You don't need a self-help book and you don't need to slim and gorgeous to get on with people.

AncientToaster · 23/04/2023 14:58

There was a thread about people lacking in friends yesterday. People without friends always write that they are nice but what do they actually mean?

I have a friend who I don’t actually like very much, she isn’t that nice because she is money obsessed and judgemental but she is very interesting and an excellent conversationalist . I also had a friend who would always agree with me, it was like she was too afraid to voice her actual thoughts and feelings because she was worried I wouldn’t like her. That friendship came to an end and it was a relief really. She was a much nicer person than the woman I still see but it was tedious in the extreme. The very nice person and I had some views that were completely opposite on certain issues but she would never ever actually say what she really wanted to when she realised we didn’t have the same view.

DH always laughs when I say I’m going to see my friend I don’t like, he will always pipe up with oh your off out with T then.

marriage23 · 23/04/2023 15:20

I feel exactly same as you. Some excellent advice for on here. Please don’t feel sad, I’m also feeling low today thinking about this. I just moved into a new neighbourhood and people haven’t been nice. Hope you feel better x

TellHimDirectlyInDetail · 23/04/2023 15:32

Just throwing this out there...Your narrative of the story doesn't seem to capture what happened... It seems like you're anoyed that out of two potatential people to chat to you, you expected 100% of them to talk to you but only one out of the two did. I'm not counting the guy as he had his wife but even if I did 1 out of 3 isn't bad.

Is it that you have a fear of ejection and feel it when it isn't really there?

Since you hate feeling left out you have become great at including people but that also raises your expectations for people to include you. But a lot of people don't mind not being included in everything or don't have a fear of rejection so don't prioritise including everyone.

Boohisspiss · 23/04/2023 15:41

Don’t over think it, no one can click with everyone. Some of the people you are describing may just be massive, rude cunts.

It’s not a good idea to ask internet people (like me) to diagnose the problem, there may not be one at all.

Echobelly · 23/04/2023 15:46

Sometimes you just have to find the right context. I've never made work, mum or hobby friends, but I have joined some websites where people really 'get' me and have quite a few friends from there where everyone seems to be quite unconventional. I think I don't have all the much in common with most people - this doesn't mean I think I'm better than them or anything, just I don't tend to watch the same telly, be interested in the same stuff. But in the right niche I make friends quite easily.

daisymoonlight · 23/04/2023 16:52

I doubt very much you are giving off needy vibes

If the OP is expecting everyone she meets to strike up a convo with her then yes, that’s needy. Some people don’t like talking to strangers not because they’re nasty but they may be shy/awkward/uncomfortable etc. she said an older lady came to chat with her but apparently that wasn’t enough- it seems that she is expecting every person she meets to chat and that’s never gonna happen no matter how socially skilled you are.

The point is, you can be absolutely lovely but you arent going to be popular with everyone you meet. There will always be someone who doesn’t make the effort and that’s mostly to do with them. No point dwelling on the people who aren’t interested but focus on the ones who are friendly like the older lady in this sc

daisymoonlight · 23/04/2023 16:52

Scenario

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