Stuck

[SoDisheartened]

As my username says, I'm so disheartened at not being able to earn an income.

I gave up work a year ago to become a SAHM to my 2 baby DC which was fine, I wanted (and still want) to be present for them. However, I want/need to be able to earn to achieve all of the things we want to do. We are lucky in that we can live on DH's salary alone, but it doesn't stretch to covering the things we want as well as need.

I stupidly applied for a job, just to see how far I'd get and have since been interviewed and offered the job. Problem is, I can't take it as we don't have childcare.

Both DC are under 3 so we'd need to pay for nursery for them but we'd can't afford to do that, we'd effectively be paying for me to work which defeats the purpose as we'd be financially worse of, not better.

I know, it's the sacrifice you have to make for being a parent, I'm just really disappointed. And before I get the,

'It's your own fault for applying for a job you knew you couldn't take'

'You've wasted the employers time'

Responses... I KNOW!!

Could you take the job, part time, and have family help with childcare?

Childcare fees come out of joint income. Take the job, look at the long term benefits ie building up your career. Many, many many people do this. Yes it should be cheaper, but it isn't and it is such a short period of time.

Alternatively if you don't want to work then don't.

The job is only 12hrs a week, home based and very flexible with days etc. which is why it's so appealing. My parents are the only ones that could help, they already do in a huge but informal way, I couldn't ask them to commit themselves to set days/times as it's very tying. They only retired at the end of 2019 and had big plans but then Covid hit and they had to put everything on the back-burner. It's their time now to enjoy their retirement whilst they are still fit enough to.

I'm not prepared to work for nothing and pay someone else to raise my kids for the privilege.

12 hours from home? Does it matter when you complete the work? Could you do it in the evenings when your husband is home or during their naps?

Also, when does your oldest turn three? They will get free preschool hours the term after they do.

Sorry, I don’t know why I misread that as one of your children is almost three. I guess they could be twins 🤦🏻‍♀️

12 hours a week? There's another 156 hours in the week to "raise your kids" but you crack on with this enormous dilemma.

Your parents could help you until your funded hours kick in. You could work in the evenings. You could do the role 1.5 or 2 days per week which would reduce childcare.

Your partner could condense hours. Lots of options for 12 hours!

The government are increasing help with childcare in the next year or so.

The work has to be done between 9 - 5 unfortunately. DH can't condense his hours. Eldest starts nursery in August but youngest has just turned 1. Even paying for 1 would wipe out my earnings. I've tried to think of ways to make it work but there just aren't any.

Just having a moan really (and apparently getting a free maths lesson into the bargain) 🤣 I'll put my tiny violin away now that I've got that off my chest!

Thanks for the suggestions.

The job sounds like gold dust, find a way to take it! When does free childcare kick in for your youngest? What are the actual costs of childcare taking into account all govt contributions?

It really is a rare opportunity! No free childcare for our youngest until August 2025. It'd cost us a minimum of £25 for a half day session at nursery so that's £100 week which would be a huge chunk of my wages.

A huge chunk but not all? There will be so many benefits both you and your children get which aren't financial. I'd really consider it. Leave after a couple months if it doesn't suit you.

You get tax free childcare if you earn over a certain amount a week! 😊

Also can you look at doing the 12 hours over 3 days not 4? Can your DH do the nursery run and you work eg 8-12?

If it's all about the money by all means turn it down, but I'm a better mum for working, and I'm paying into a pension and getting a foot back in the door making promotions easier in the future, and making peanuts but feeling less like banging my head against a wall.