Has anyone settled in their marriage / relationship?.

[JaJaWoo]

I think I have..I've been married nearly 15 years and have 3 lovely DC. I have low self esteem and self confidence and didn't really have any boyfriends in school or older. He was the first guy that showed an interest in me. He isn't a bad person. He's a decent guy. However, deep down he doesn't have the qualities that I wanted in a partner. There's things that I have turned a blind eye to and ignored. I think deep down I thought that the type of person I would like wouldn't be interested in me so I settled.

We want such different things in life, have such contrasting views and values. Yes we do have some things in common and I do relatively get along with him however he has treated me atrociously in the past which I can't quite get over.

Fast forward to now and I feel like my life has been wasted. I don't love him. We are like friends living under the same roof. He isn't the husband / father that I wanted. I am very lonely. I catch myself looking at other couples/ families and the way they are and feel pangs of jealousy.

Of course I have myself to only blame. I realise that.

Don't really know why I'm posting. I guess wondering if this is

I think that everyone settles to a certain extent. In the sense of, I didn’t dream of lying next to a fart machine every night, or a shit cook (and he didn’t dream of a messy wife with extreme fluctuating weight). We’ve both occasionally treated the other a little poorly in the past. That’s life realistically.

However, I feel lucky, and so does he. We like each other, even if everyday seems mundane, we are content being mundane together.

Would you rather be single, or continue to live with him? Does he feel the same I wonder?

Would an honest discussion damage the relationship?

I have spoken to him in the past. I haven't said I feel I've settled for you but explained that I think we're on different pages for alot of things. He got defensive and said I wasn't perfect either.

Bumping for the later crowd.

I haven’t, though I think my partner has.

Been there. I settled for 15 yrs. Had my escape planned but he bumped up my timeline l. One of the best things that ever happened to me.
I'm now with MY person.