Medical info from estranged family

[Asiama]

I have a medical appointment to understand my risk of cancer and put a plan in place eg for early detection. Understandably the clinic has asked if I could ask my mother for permission for them to review her cancer notes - I won't get to see the notes but it will help the clinic have a better picture.

I am NC with my mother and I really don't want to ask her, as I think the likely outcome is one of the following:

1. She won't give access because there's no need / she doesn't want to / she thinks i'm scamming her somehow / there's no genetic cause as it was me that caused the cancer. I was a teenager when she had cancer and got the blame for it back then.

1. She will give access but only if I do something in return eg committing an hour a day to speaking with her on the phone, which from experience, is likely to be upsetting.

Whatever happens, it will give her an outlet to come back in my life and continue with all the pain and grief that led me to go NC.

On the other hand, I'm not sure whether this will give the clinic valuable info that could potentially save my health in the future. And I'm really embarrassed to explain my family situation to them as their request is reasonable.

What would you do in my place?

Hi. I would tell my doctors that you're not in contact with your family. You will not be the first person that is estranged from family. They will have seen people with the same issue.
It will save you alot of hassle in the future as you said.
Pretty sure they will have other means of finding out or have another way around it. Either way it is what it is.
Also I had a similar dilemma in that something happened and I was low contact with a family member and I was told an illness I had could be hereditary and I should maybe pass on the info as the family member should be tested too.
I mentioned that I wasn't too keen as we had issues anyway and they were going through similar things so was probably likely to go through same route as me anyway and get tested. I said I'd think about it.
Anyway in the end I decided not to tell myself, because it would just cause more headache.
I also did not want them to know about me.
A few days later, apparently they were told to go in to get tested because they were told someone in their family had this issue. Which I thought was quite sneaky tbh as I did not want them to know about me and it would have been obvious it was me.
So the doctors kind of broke their own patient confidential record there.
Sorry for long essay but just wanted to show that you don't have to let her back in your life, they will find out somehow.

Thank you @Lottie2shoes. I think I've made my mind up that I will have to do without the info. Need to get over the embarrassment of explaining it to the clinic!

Awww. Yeah it will be hard but the discomfort would probably last a few minutes etc whereas letting her back into your life etc would affect you going forward. Hope it works out well.

It doesn't sound like it's in your overall interests to make contact. If you don't want to do it, the doctors will just have to work with what they've got.