Weird thing happened to me tonight and not sure if I should be worried

[michaelthemagnificent]

I have long term quite severe anxiety - being treated for CPTSD, on 3 different meds (valium, anti depressant and beta blockers) just now plus waiting to see psychiatrist about starting a fourth (anti psychotic).

Tonight was at a birthday party, loud disco, loud music, flashing lights. I was chatting to my cousin; and had a weird episode where I got half a sentence out - and then it was like my brain switched off, couldn’t remember why I was saying what I was saying, what the rest of the sentence was, thought I was going to pass out, felt really flustered and hot and weird. Literally couldn’t make my mouth move properly and couldn’t get a thought at all - I got five words out and voice just trailed off.

Cousin asked if I was OK, I said I needed out for a breath - once outside for 2-3 minutes settled and managed back in.

I’ve never had that happen before.

Have a strong family history of epilepsy - sister has it, mother has it, two cousins have it.

I don’t know if it was a panic attack or some sort of seizure, or dissociation? It was the weirdest sensation.

it sounds more neuro and not psychiatric - it could also be a reaction to your meds. As well as this my alarm bell is ringing for something called FND. I would consider making a GP appointment

That sounds so scary but try not to worry op. I've felt exactly like that just before an ordinary fainting episode. So it could just be that or the flashing lights triggered some sort of episode. Either way, only your GP can determine the cause. It's unlikely to be anxiety if you were chatting away happily beforehand? If it is epilepsy, you will know from the experience of your family members, that some incidences are eminently treatable with the right meds.

Hope you are feeling a bit better than you did earlier tonight and that you get a good night's rest. Are you by yourself?

Basically FND is like the grey area between neuro and psych with multi factorial symptoms
So it can be that a psych problem manifests as a neuro issue. Unfortunately it's not well understood

Yeah, my mum has that funnily enough. Have had other functional symptoms before so wouldn’t surprise me. I get a lot of derealisation and depersonalisation anyway but this felt different and weird, I literally could not remember what I was saying and still can’t. I had a thought in my head but it was as if my brain just shut off for a few seconds.

I get about 20 times a day just now sudden feeing of ‘where am I, why am I here?’ and realise I’ve lost time. Been losing time on and off most of the day today. CMHT did say last week they were convinced it was a trauma response.

I panic a bit as my mum spent most of her adult life taking dissociative seizures and I really don’t want to end up the same.

I was fairly anxious before, was feeling a bit overwhelmed and extremely tired. Find I get scared of having a panic attack when I go out so try not to go out in case I have a panic attack. So being at a massive party was a bit strange for me in general.

I’m on my own but in house with my aunt and uncle; aunt’s a midwife (though what help that would be I’m not sure!)

I get it - I wasn't going to say but I have both CPTSD and the fresh hell that is FND myself. Not much advice neither respond well to treatment but plenty of solidarity x

CPTSD is a living hell , I thought I had MH problems before but bloody hell, this last year has been hell. I spend half my day trying to make sure I’m still ‘present’ where I am!

I’ve got to make a four hour journey home on Sunday, alone, that is panicking the hell out of me in case it happens again whilst I’m travelling.

It's a really hard experience to explain to other people - I described it as being like Alice In Wonderland once and discovered that's a common theme and a named syndrome

But yeah hard to really explain how you can be both in a Sainsbury in 2023 and in France nearly 20 years previously but you absolutely can

You can't SHOW this to anyone though so no one gets that it's totally different from just an unpleasant memory.

Glad there are others in the house op. I don't think you should be alone until you have a proper diagnosis. Can you make other arrangements for travel today, just as you would if you were on crutches or something, you can't help being ill? Could you call a friend to come and get you or at least meet someone half way? Hope you have a safe journey.

I’ve switched arrangements so I’m on train instead of bus which always feels a bit safer, it’s probably just psychological but feel a bit calmer on trains usually!

in the medium-long term I live alone, so that might be difficult but I know what you mean , I’m a bit scared of going home tomorrow but no other choice really

It's good you will have a quicker journey op. And once you get home, if you feel really bad, some A&E departments have mh provision nowadays although I know the prospect of having to sit and wait in that sort of environment is not ideal, especially during a weekend. But at least there is that option in an emergency. I hope you can arrange to get a thorough assessment through your GP on Monday though, and don't be fobbed off, be as assertive as you would for a friend going through the same thing. Good luck.

I had similar a couple of weeks ago and it was a mini stroke (TIA). I would get seen just in case. I felt stupid going to a&e (even though doctor advised me to) as I felt fine afterwards but they were great and after triage I was seen within minutes as it was considered such an emergency

Oh I hope it wasn’t a TIA. i didn’t lose any memory or anything. I just remember knowing there was something I wanted to say with a reason I wanted to say it, and then halfway through that sentence stopping and not being able to say it, and having no idea what the rest of the sentence was.

I do get funny deja vu sensations sometimes if extremely tired, and heart palpitations (ectopics) every day - every time I bloody move right now, but the palpitations have been put down to anxiety, and I’ve never mentioned the deja vu to a doctor.

I have CPTSD & dissociative identity disorder, I get something similar which my therapist says could be eraser/blocking parts/alters, it happens a lot in therapy when I am triggered or trying to communicate with fractured traumatised parts, have found it happening outside of therapy lately. When it happens it can be frightening which can turn into panic giving you the other physical symptoms you describe. I’ve been told that any uncomfortable feelings etc are communications from parts, try to remember that a lot of what you are experiencing however incredibly uncomfortable & terrifying is a defence mechanism, it’s your mind/body protecting you, be curious, thank it, try not to get frustrated & take care (easier said than done I know, I keep forgetting & remembering how to help myself). Obviously it’s always a good idea to get a second opinion in case something else may be going on but thought it was worth mentioning the above as something to consider.