DS passed driving test. I'm terrified.

[AnxiousForLife]

Gave DS17 driving lessons for his birthday. He passed with 2 minors 6 months later. As promised I bought him a little car. My parents did the same for me and gave me great freedom. I wanted to do the same for him.

Thing is I've not been able to sleep since he passed. Every time he's out in the car, I'm absolutely terrified. I'm scared he'll have an accident or smash the car up etc.

I don't think I'll ever stop worrying now. Please help.

There adults I think your naive at that age I would of agreed end to everything
then soon as round the corner I would of picked my friends up
how would up police these rules?

late night driving doesn’t bother me the roads are a lot quieter

I still sometimes sit with dd when driving. If we go into town I might suggest she drives. I don't think she has driven alone on the motorway yet and there I will still verbalise my views on other people's driving - e.g. watch out for that white car he looks as if he might pull out. I think because I still sometimes drive with her I am less concerned because I can see she isn't slipping into bad habits.

@rwalker

There adults I think your naive at that age I would of agreed end to everything
then soon as round the corner I would of picked my friends up
how would up police these rules?

Just a suggestion. At 17 and parent buys a car then parent gets to decide rules. Perhaps these are not the correct rules but OP can think of her own? Just ideas.

If you don't trust your 17 year old not to pick up extra fe ones behind your back though, don't buy them a car.

Get him onto the IAM advanced course ASAP. I think it’s about £175 these days. I’m convinced that the advanced training I had when I was 17 is probably the reason I’m still alive today. My view is that if young lads are going to drive quickly then at least give them the tools to do it safer.

My DS had an accident 1 week after passing his test. Hasn't had another one since (5 years). I actually think it makes young people better drivers if they have an early accident.

Bigger question is how did he manage to get a test slot so quickly? 😂

I thought there was some sort of massive test backlog and people’s theories were running out before they got a practical test….

Have a look at Pass Plus (do they still do that?) and the institute of advanced motorists course - completing the latter can result in a discount with a lot of insurance companies which may be an incentive. Once a member they also do a lot of fun driving days out - off roading, skid pan driving etc. The instructors are largely retired police traffic officers. To pass the test that's the kind of standard you reach (without the high speed chases!!)

late night driving doesn’t bother me the roads are a lot quieter

i get that but statistically it must be more dangerous. Dd has a black box and her score goes down if she drives after 10pm. It’s one of the rules so does not relate to how well she’s driving, score goes down automatically.

I keep telling myself I had a car at 17yo and went everywhere in it. Drove 300 miles across the country a month after passing me test inc motorways. I wasn’t worried, I didn’t feel unsafe, I felt confident. I keep thinking if I managed then no reason Dd won’t.

A Dsis didn’t buy her newly-passed DS of 17 car, but allowed him to drive hers.

However, the slightest scratch or dent would mean that privilege would be withdrawn immediately, so he had the best possible incentive to drive very carefully. And he did.
How about similar? Any prang, however minor, will mean you sell the car and any other will need to be paid for - and insured! - by him.

Thanks for all the feedback. I am considering the advanced driving or pass plus.

I have said this is the only car I will be buying him.....so hopefully he will take good care of it

His Dad, who doesn't drive, isn't worried in the slightest. 🙄

I hear you, OP. I've now had three DDs learn to drive, all now in their twenties and good drivers, but I do still worry.

It's such a leap of faith as a parent, isn't it! You know you have to take it, but it's hard.

Lol. I'm the same. Dd1 passed her test at 17yo and 5 years later I do still worry. However the more driving she does the safer she becomes, so I just ask her to text once she's there.