DF constantly talks about work

[Ramunea]

I live alone and close to my father so we speak almost everyday and I see him a few times a week (he is widowed). My biggest gripe is that he talks about work non stop. Every conversation we have is always about his job. Even when I change the subject, it somehow gets diverted back to his job. I get that it’s good to get things off his chest and that’s mainly why I listen but after years and decades of hearing it my patience is wearing thin.

I have encouraged him to find a hobby or even make friends to help him unwind and switch off, but he isn’t really interested, so his life is literally work and then home and when he is home he will call me or friends and then talk about work.
In the mornings (if we talk) he talks about work, on the weekend he talks about work, in the evening’s he talks about work.

What would you do?

Remember details op. If he mentions x mate or y place cut in that yes yes you know them /that. Ime this makes the repetitive chat shorter...

Do activities and talk about what you are doing like go for a walk in a nice park and talk about plants or go for a movie and talk about it or go for a pub drink and talk about pubs or drinks.
He sounds really lonely, let him vent.

thank you for the ideas. I will try these.

@SufferingCarlos I often do encourage him to join me for a walk or suggest we go to dinner or join a dance class or something but he isn’t interested. Sometimes he will say yes and then at last min will come up with every reason why he can’t do it.

he does have friends that I have actively seen invite him out and make plans with him
and he often does the same, or will rant about why the plan is a waste of time. (Last week he was invited by some of his old work colleagues to go for a movie and dinner afterwards, but he then went on a rant talking about it would be a waste of time and petrol, there wouldn’t be anywhere to park, what’s the point in paying for a movie and dinner when he can watch a movie and eat dinner at home and blah blah blah. I would get it if money was an issue but he is very financially free and all his children have grown. Youngest is 28 with her own kids). Again he could be invited to the pub and it could be down his road (he lives in the middle of town) but again will rant about he doesn’t drink and there’s no point wasting time sitting in the pub when he could have a drink in his house (although wouldn’t invite friends over as he doesn’t want the hassle). When his friends invite him to their house it is again another set of excuses (they live too far/ he is tired/ he doesn’t see the point). When then invite themselves over to his house, again he will make another set of excuses (he has to work in the morning/ he doesn’t see the point/ he doesn’t see why he should host people when they don’t host him - although he does get invited and often doesn’t go).

I get that he is lonely and this is why I am trying g to encourage him to have a life but it seems he is simply happy with working and talking about work and nothing else.

i get that you never really get over a death but my mother (his wife) passed away over 30 years ago and they had even separated before that also. He has since dated but again as he often see’s life from a different perspective and can be quite draining and negative, relationships often don’t last long.

also, if he does meet a potential partner; he will often have a whole list of reasons why they aren’t good enough or something similar and again isn’t interested in doing the relationship stuff (movies/ nights out/ holidays) so again it fizzles out quickly.

He can be difficult but he is a good person but I’m just beginning to tire of the constant talks about work and nothing else.

He is caught in a cycle of negativity. Uou will need to either reduce contact or have a conversation about his negative attitude and behaviour. It is not a nice trait and is draining to others.