Thread 7 - TalkLair: “In fact it’s an oblate spheroid”

[Kucinghitam]

Continuation of previous threads (thread 6).
The new lair of JTT escapees is all cosy and homey; we have truly settled here. Outside, the garden is blooming with spring flowers. Inside, the hearth is glowing, pictures are up on the walls, rugs are down on the floors (and assorted pets curled up on them).

We just won’t mention the gnawed bones of our prey over there in the corner of the cave…

So sorry about your friend Grace, sending love, for what it's worth.

More sympathy here, @MouseMinge . I have known several people who committed suicide, or attempted it like my brother did when he was 17. Even that failed attempt permanently fractured or at least severely dented our family and this was 45 years ago. So sorry for your loss. xxxxx

So sorry to read about your loss @MouseMinge I can remember you talking about her, she sounded like a lovely person and was a great friend to you.

Commiserations @MouseMinge. I had a similar experience with my bestest friend 20 years ago. I understood too, but simultaneously can't understand the world as well without him in it. Or maybe it's that I know the world doesn't understand me as well.

So sorry grace, I've lost a couple of friends the same way, including an unrequited love who was beautiful in every way but had been damaged by far less beautiful people. Treasure your memories, including the fact that your friend knew you loved her.

Oh MM I am so sorry - you and she obviously had a special and loving relationship and it must have been such a shock to you.

Thank you all so much. I spoke to a lifelong friend of hers who I also knew - biblically - he's going to the service tomorrow and will call me on Wednesday to let me know how everything went. He's flying up and back tomorrow. Currently living in Nashville but going to relocate back to NYC in July. Sorry, wibbling on.

She was wonderful and beautiful and funny and intelligent and ... we never had one cross word which is mad because we are both so bloody opinionated. We rarely disagreed though and when we did we just respected each other because we knew that neither of us was a bad person. She was the one person I could tell absolutely bloody everything. I love my friends but with each of them there's something or somethings I don't talk to them about. I talked to Rachel about the best the worst and everything in between. I'm going to miss that so much. She was just my person. We all go through life wondering if soulmates really are a thing or if there really is a "the one", especially if we're women because that's the way we're sort of programmed to think. You never stop to think that the one might not be the sex that you usually want to do the sex with. She was my person, my one, my soulmate.

Don't worry I'm not going to go on about her here all the time but you've all been so lovely and I just wanted to know a bit more about her. She'd have shined on GU and kicked fucking arse. I know how lucky I was to have her in my life and she knew how lucky she was to have me. That was the thing. We were both so fucking overjoyed to have met each other.

Last bit. My two favourite memories with her. One, Rosh Hashanah. My first ever Jewish celebration. She did the Hebrew words that need to be done, we ate apples, honey and challah bread and it was an absolute blast. There were a couple of other people there, including the friend who I have biblical knowledge of and Rachel and I were the most hilarious bitches in the whole of NYC. Two, while I was staying there was no spare bed so we just slept together in her big old bed. White bedding, Chico sleeping between us, happy to get two lots of love and stroking, and we were both read Jane Austen each night. It was heaven.

Thanks again, everyone. It means a lot.

She sounds absolutely wonderful. What a beautiful gift, to have such a friend as her.

I've been bitten on the cheek by a horsefly and, as ever, one side of my face is swelling up. Repellent every day from now on, every biting insect on the planet loves me. It ain't right.

Rotten, Tri. And a horsefly bite is an actual bite. Not a sting - the buggers take a chunk of flesh from you.

Horseflies in May??? We don’t get them until June at the very earliest, and July is the worst month for the fuckers. I don’t react particularly badly to the bite, unlike some people I know, but I hate them so much, they’re so fucking sneaky, you don’t know they’ve landed on you until they sink their jaws into you.

If I see one land on me, it takes quite a while for them to position themselves for the fang-sinking exercise, so they’re easily squashed, as long as you know they’re there. Problem is they don’t buzz and as I said, they’re very stealthy, I never feel them land on me.

I do a very unattractive shrieky horsefly dance if I see one. My horses did too, although without the shrieks. They really hated them, even more than I did/do. Sometimes in the woods a bit of leaf or twig would fall on them and they’d think it was a horsefly and go berserk.

Luckily, there are no cattle or horses any more in my bit of the village, so they’re less common than they were.

It’s just an excuse to post this picture, but you can see the flies all around us here.

The good thing about horseflies is they don’t come indoors.

Horseflies and doggers.

Ha ha!

Well that made me snort with laughter.

That's a lovely picture, Mavis. Well, apart from the flies.

Horseflies are absolute fuckers, I hate them and their filthy mandibles.

I was just reading a thread about awful in-laws, and the OP had two boys, 12 and 13, in the care of in-laws, and the in-laws had let them go to the park unaccompanied, and the OP very much took against this ("There'd been phone thefts"). IIJM, is is 12 and 13 plenty old enough? I was going to the rec to play football every night from the age of nine or so. At 14 we were hitching to London for the weekend (80 miles). And no, I certainly don't things were much 'safer' in the 'good old days' than now . Obviously, all kids are different, etc, but generally speaking that does seem rather over-protective. What do parents of teenagers now think?

I wouldn't have had a problem with mine going at that age, but mine didn't have phones. Mine were all going to school and coming home on their own at 11.

Mine are just-turned 14, and have been going about unaccompanied since they started secondary (within reason - lockdowns, COVID restrictions etc meant we were all going around together quite a lot in 2020-2021). They were walking to/from school since Year 6 primary. These days they go to the local shops/cafes with friends, catch the bus to town for ditto. I wouldn't have been remotely concerned about them going to our local parks at those ages - but I guess it depends on the specifics of what's the park like, how responsible are the kids?

Depends on the kids and the area. I'd be a bit wary around here, depending on which park, as some are infested with ferals who can be quite stabby.

Me and my brothers starting walking home from school from about the second year of infant school and lifts were a major treat. We were quite feral so it does seem odd that 12-13 year olds are so closely parented, but there are some pretty scummy people about these days. Someone told me that one place I used to live, many 'normal' people don't go out in the evenings anymore because of the prevalence of violence and drug taking. It depends on where you live. Where I live now is pretty much 'Pleasantville' and feels quite safe, but even here the play areas can get a bit rough and ready.

Even Pleasantville had its darker side, Tric! A cracking film, a favourite of mine!

Exactly @Gonners and @Tricyrtis2022 - it's very situation-specific. I can certainly imagine that if we lived elsewhere, I wouldn't be letting my DC go unaccompanied to some parks.

Last summer we had a visit from some friends with children of a similar (slightly younger) age. The adults wanted to sit around chatting, so I said to DDs "Why don't you show the kids around our woods* for a bit, come back at tea time?" and our friends were plainly shocked. It just wasn't a thing they'd thought of doing in their area.

*We call our nearest bit of green space "our woods" because it's so nearby and it is a tiny patch of pretty woodland.

A tree, a rope swing, climb the tree, someone launches the noose towards you, jump off, grab the rope, swing down the ground, best thing in the world! Jumpers for goalposts, etc etc😀