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Friendship battles 8 year old

6 replies

WarmestRegards40 · 20/04/2023 16:28

My child is 8 and we're having some difficulties at the moment. They are friends with a group of girls that all hug and do the besties thing but when my child joins in they are shunned. They all hug in a group and when my child joins in they shrugged off.
Ive explained that you always need to be sure that you only give hugs that are wanted and not to be too clingy as some people don't like it. Its so hard to see this happen though as it seems its just my child they dont want to hug.
They have gotten into a new group at school recently and today have found out that they have been kicked out this group for hugging.
Apart from reinforcing the consent side to it and to try and find friends that are similar then im not sure what else to do.
They are such a sweet kindhearted child in reality who just is very tactile

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Colourmylifewith · 20/04/2023 17:51

WarmestRegards40 · 20/04/2023 16:28

My child is 8 and we're having some difficulties at the moment. They are friends with a group of girls that all hug and do the besties thing but when my child joins in they are shunned. They all hug in a group and when my child joins in they shrugged off.
Ive explained that you always need to be sure that you only give hugs that are wanted and not to be too clingy as some people don't like it. Its so hard to see this happen though as it seems its just my child they dont want to hug.
They have gotten into a new group at school recently and today have found out that they have been kicked out this group for hugging.
Apart from reinforcing the consent side to it and to try and find friends that are similar then im not sure what else to do.
They are such a sweet kindhearted child in reality who just is very tactile

How do you mean ‘kicked out’

WarmestRegards40 · 20/04/2023 18:18

Colourmylifewith · 20/04/2023 17:51

How do you mean ‘kicked out’

As in told they are not allowed to play with this group anymore

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WarmestRegards40 · 20/04/2023 18:20

My child told me that the group said this

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Colourmylifewith · 20/04/2023 18:25

WarmestRegards40 · 20/04/2023 18:18

As in told they are not allowed to play with this group anymore

Awww I’m sorry, it feels awful when it’s your child being excluded, do you know any of their parents? The first group sound worse as they excluded her from something they were all doing.
sadly things luke this do happen in friendship groups and it likely won’t be the last time…. Out of school clubs and other activities will hopefully help her feel that school isn’t the be all and end all

WafflingDreamer · 20/04/2023 18:32

If she's been told she's not allowed to play with them and she's upset about it maybe you can encourage her to talk to a teacher or another grown up on the playground. Girl friendships in year 2/3/4 seem to be full of this kind of behaviour it is normally short-lived but tough when you're in the middle of it

Help her find other friends or things to do at breaks, lots of schools have lunch clubs where the children can do something more structured

WarmestRegards40 · 20/04/2023 21:51

We are doing all those things already
Any advice on the hugs.. ive said to stop giving hugs and to save them but its hard to see your child being rejected
As a family we are very cuddly so its normal for us but i do appreciate not everyone wants one.. its just when its a group hug that youre not apart of it stings a bit
Personally id tell them to stick their friendship but my child isnt like that at all

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