DD took an overdose

[Parvolax]

DD (14) took an overdose of paracetamol yesterday whilst at school.
Named changed as outing.
She’s not depressed or low in mood and doesn’t know why she did it. I’m wondering if it’s attention or struggling being back at school. I don’t know.
The parvolax has made her very sick but she appears to be enjoying herself all the same, she cannot connect with the devastation of her actions, probable mild ASD.
I’m so tired after machines beeping all night and hourly obs. She’s chatting away happily to the nurses and watching tv instead of school.
She gets lots of 1-1 attention at home (single parent) so I just don’t know what she is hoping to achieve and neither does she.
We are going to be here until tomorrow.

My dd did twice last year op. She was 15...had disclosed to school she had low mood. You should expect a referral to cahms.. We suspect she has long Covid which carries depression type symptoms. Try not to blame yourself for'missing ' signs.

She must have had a reason and you need to find out what it is. Ask her teachers if they can identify any school problems. Could it be something to do with her friends? Does she see her dad?

I feel for you OP.
My daughter did this last December at school exactly the same.
It was such a shock to how she'd been doing the couple of weeks before though previously same year had a few different types counselling but I thought we had turned corner.
It's hard going.
Be kind to yourself

She must have taken a significant amount to be above the treatment like. And the antidote is a nasty drug, but does the job. She should be seen by the crisis team when she's medically fit for discharge. So you may get some answers. Hope you are both ok after this.

Firstly, I'd like to point out that there's no such thing as mild ASD, there's just ASD that is being masked so much it appears as mild

I'm Autistic but was only diagnosed as an adult. I took my first overdose at age 15, and went on to take more throughout my late teens and twenties. I could never explain why... I never wanted to die, but I just couldn't see any other way to stop how I was feeling at that moment, and then a few hours after taking the overdose I would feel fine again and take myself to hospital. Doctors questioned whether I was Bipolar but I didn't fit the diagnosis

Once I discovered that I was Autistic, everything made sense. Basically, I was having meltdowns where everything had built up to a point that I could no longer cope, and at the peak of a meltdown I could only see dying as the way out. Then the meltdown would pass and I wouldn't feel overwhelmed anymore and would be happy and calm. Meltdowns are like storms... they build, they peak, they pass. Meltdowns are not always the 'lashing out' stereotype you see described, especially in Autistic females... They are more likely to be internalised or appear as 'shutdowns' and Autistic females are much more at risk of self harm and suicide attempts because of this. Once I learnt the signs of me being overwhelmed, and learnt how to stop it from building further, I never had any more suicidal thoughts

Obviously this doesn't mean your daughter is definitely going through the same. But I thought it may be helpful to hear the experience of someone in your daughter's position

@AriannasGuitarCase thank you that’s a really helpful insight. I got a bit lost at the bit where you said you never wanted to die yet later said you saw dying as the only way out.
DD does mask to some degree but I feel like she isn’t ‘clever enough’ to mask really if that makes sense as in she’s never been sneaky or anything because her ASD traits prevent it etc.

@Parvolax Masking isn't being sneaky or being clever, it's an instinctive thing that Autistic girls especially pick up in order to fit in and survive. It's really hard work but we don't even realise we're doing it most of the time

By not wanting to die I meant that I wasn't actually suicidal or depressed, it was just that at the point of a severe meltdown I just needed the way I was feeling to stop, and I didn't know any way to make it stop except dying. Sorry, that's probably not any clearer!

No that’s really helpful thanks
Still in hospital on the drip for another night. So tired.

It must be so worrying for you, I hope she gets all the help she needs

two suicide attempts here though not by overdose, unless you count 1,5 bottles of whiskey as such.

Talking to parents of kids with similar symptoms/behaviours, lockdown often comes up as a catalyst (certainly was for us), as do neuro-atypical traits. And social media. Do you have insight in her phone?

It's been going on for 18 months for us and I'm still often bewildered. And SO frustrated with the state of mental health services. But there are some good people and initiatives out there. It's a long road but something will help.

@Parvolax Sorry you and your daughter are going though this. My DD is 16 and has overdosed 3 times, first time being your DD's age. I have been next to the hospital bed like you are now. She was diagnosed with ASD and ADHD las year. I hope you get the proper support after this and keep communication open with your DD and the school. It's going to be tiring even after you leave hospital because you will be constantly worried and checking up on her. Things are better with us right now and I hope it gets better for you guys too.
@AriannasGuitarCase This is a great post, it makes me understand my DD more. I'm glad you are feeling better and finding better coping mechanisms for your feeling of being overwhelmed. It really gives me hope for my DD.

My child tried 3x before asd diagnosis.

Hospital Is very tiring.

Op I mean this in the kindest way and I'm certainly no expert myself but you seem to have some false understanding about masking and asd.

There are some really knowledgeable mums on here and neuro diverse people on Mumsnet. This thread already shows how much you can learn from them.

@uhtredbebbanburg I'm glad I posted now, I'm always quite hesitant to do so in case I come across wrong. I'm 50 now and still struggle with getting overwhelmed but I learned to recognise the signs and can now prevent things from building to a point I can't cope

I just want to add that when I talk about becoming overwhelmed, I'm not talking about obvious things that would overwhelm Neurotypical people. For Autistic/ND people, it could be that there is too much noise, or a light is bright or flickering. Or an item of clothing is too tight or scratchy. Or because we stopped ourselves from stimming. Or because (even a simple) plan/situation is changed without warning eg a friend or teacher isn't in school that day, or a bus is a few minutes later than usual, or the local shop has changed its layout.

It can be hard to deal with even one little thing that overwhelms, and then with more added in, it just build and builds. It's very common to not even realise this is happening (especially for younger people and undiagnosed people) and then it all hits in one go, so learning to recognise what overwhelms us and what we can do to prevent it/cope is really helpful to our mental health overall

@AriannasGuitarCase Thanks. That makes a lot of sense. DD is getting pretty good CAMHS help with identifying triggers and healthy coping strategies. Last year the music teacher told DD that she could practice the piano in the chapel and while she was playing, the chaplain came in and told her she wasn't to use the chapel piano. She banged her head against the wall so hard it was bleeding.
@Parvolax I hope your DD gets discharged today and has a restful weekend at home to recover.

I went through this a couple of years ago, being in hospital is exhausting!

I think you would benefit from doing some research into ASD. Having a good understanding of what it is and how it presents will really help you to understand your daughter.

My daughter has self harmed (badly/daily) for a past few years she has had three suicide attempts (overdose, drunk bleach and lay on railway tracks) as ambulance crew myself I have attended many successful suicides so it terrifies me. She’s been under camhs for years but we’re still waiting for an official ASD/ADHD diagnosis although they’ve said she’s likely to have it.

I don’t have too much advice as we’re at our wits end, but hang in there xx

My DD is 15 now btw

Op - there is always a reason. It might seem she is fine today on the outside, but she very clearly isn’t okay. I would be wary about assuming it is attention seeking or minimising it.

It’s imperative to get to the root cause(s), walk through her exact thoughts and feelings before, during and after the overdose. What was happening before? Really listen to her, be open and accepting of her even if it’s hard to listen to. What is happening to her now, and what happens next really matters.

I would find a brilliant child psychologist and arrange an assessment completed by a well regarded psychiatrist. Enlist some counselling and support for yourself too. This is very hard to go through as a parent.

How do you find a brilliant psychologist? How if you don't have money do you fund this?

You can always use the ‘right to choose’ using psychiatry UK. At this point waiting too long for a diagnosis can delay decent support.

I have been there also, then DD ended up in a tier 4 hospital because she also tried to jump off a bridge into a motorway. She was 14.

I have three autistic daughters. They are all different, annd while some cope better than others ant times, autism is never ‘mild’, because attempting suicide is a very very real thing.

Two of mine mask, one doesn’t really. The effort put into masking is huge. While to some extent it may be a successful technique, they need time to not mask. Masking is what makes the autism seem ‘mild’.