Over the last few years her behaviour has been really controlling and manipulative. Some of the examples are really quite sinister and concerning. I don’t know why she is like this. It seems she picks on me and sees me as the weakest link. Another poster suggested I read up on DARVO and it fits her exactly, unfortunately. Interactions with her are just dysfunctional and it’s a source of drama in my life I don’t need. She also uses my niece as a means to try and draw me back in. She will be aggressive, I react with shock and ask her calmly why she has said whatever she’s said and she immediately says I am looking for confrontation or reasons to confirm my idea that she is a bad person. It’s gaslighting level 1000.
She is extremely self aware and knows what she’s doing. Why would you want to be this way towards someone else with no reason to be at all? It’s not entirely personal as sometimes our mum is also on the receiving end, as well as her SIL.
I feel sad as DH is an only child so our future DC will grow up with no close cousins, as such.