Want to retire but can't afford to

[Classof76]

Sorry for long post....
I find myself in a situation which is making me feel miserable probably depressed too.
I work for a local authority in a clerical role, I have lost all interest and passion for the role or come to that working full stop, I feel I have had enough.
I am 61 and have worked continually for 45 years except for 6 months mat leave. I am currently full time working a 14 day fortnight on 22K. I worked for private companies who did not always have pension schemes. My current pension is poor as even though I have worked there 20 years the majority of this was part time, due to childcare.
Right now, I cannot afford to work part time as I need the money and this would also affect my pension which is not enough to live on, best case scenario is 6K plus 4K lump sum if I go at Christmas. I also have a private pension pot of 40K.
I did not anticipate my pension being my only income as I had inherited my parent’s house and that was to be my income, however after getting divorced I now live there and I was shafted by my ex-husband for want of a better word, I didn’t even (stupidly) opt for a pension sharing scheme, he also took half my inherited property capital.
I have remarried, my DH works FT and is the same age, he only has the state pension at 67 and a private pension of 30K.
I feel so trapped as I also have an auto immune condition so I cannot do anything physical as I tire out and so working in this role is good for that but not for my MH. I really hate it as all my friends have been able to retire and I don’t have anything in common with the younger graduates I work with.
I applied for redundancy a year ago, and they refused, (said it was down to money but it wasn’t that, just they wanted my skills) I was hoping this would come around again but nothing is planned for the future.
I am considering part time topping up with my private pot to see me through anyone have any other ideas?

My house isn't really big enough for that unfortunately.
I check my forecast all the time, I'm currently looking into that.

They are paying you very badly, it seems to me. Especially as they clearly recognise your skills and experience.

After so long no wonder you are demoralised.

Look for another job?

I know you are feeling exhausted and tired out, but sometimes a change is as good as a rest. New challenges and especially more pay might make you feel valued and motivated again. And in charge of your own future.

It's a confidence thing for me, I also feel really trapped, I'm loathe to leave in case I miss out on redundancy which would help. I do keep looking within the organisation but people are finding it's frying pan/ fire situation when the move elsewhere.

Have you looked at all the housing options available to you such as moving to a cheaper or smaller property and living on the equity to tide you over until your state pension kicks in?
Have you worked out how much your share of your household outgoings are per month? Maybe the shortfall between any pension you would get and what you need per month isn’t as great as you think and you could get a part time job to bridge the gap.

I'm sorry but I would at this point start being a less reliable workhorse for them and niggle for redundancy.
Have some time off for a start if you are crying at your PC you need a break and most GP's will sign you off for 4 weeks with depresssion.
I bet you would get full pay too after all your time there. I am like you and very conscientious and have also watched many colleagues go with good redundnacy packages but I am too reliable and willing to transfer skills etc.
Have a break and see if you can possibly budget for leaving. Even if you get a couple of check out shifts a week so you are sitting down?
Life is definitely too short to play the fair game when it gets to this point.

I feel your pain. I am 59, don't give a shit about work now, and want to retire. But I have to go on until 67.
I did not get any inheritance, mainly worked full time but where there were no pension schemes until they became statutory.
But it helps to remember most people have to work until state pension age. Its only the very middle class demographic on here who can retire early. My neighbour works on a factory line and is still working at 62, I have an easier time than her.

It’s hard OP. I’m the same age as you, but had to medically retire 6 years ago. I get £350 per month works pension and PIP (which all goes to pay for my Mobility car). We were just managing, with my DH’s pension of £700 per month and he was just about to receive his State Pension, when he passed away. I now get his widow’s pension of just over £300 per month.

I had a fairly well paid job as a Palliative Care nurse and had been saving hard (putting away £500 pm), hoping to retire at 64/65. My savings are now slowly being whittled away.

I know none of this helps you, except to know that you are not alone. I too want to leave my house to my DCs, but if I can’t then so be it.

Yes I have lost all interest and feel resentment for their rejection of my early retirement application when my friend was ok.
I forgot that others are also in my situation and I'm lucky having my own home, I know that.
When I log into my nat insurance record it states I have full pension after 45 years (35 needed) but they still take my NI!!

Bless you, how hard that must be for you. I'm so sorry for your loss.
We are also saving like mad which is not great as we also need to live we can.
I think the only way our DC's can get on are with our help one day and I really don't want to lose that.

Ill-health early retirement requires written medical evidence that the individual is suffering from a medical condition that is effectively incurable and which makes work impossible. Frankly, I doubt if the OP's condition would qualify.

When I was younger I saw lots of people retire early on ill health. These days it is very hard to get.

OP I know it is a bit trite, but counting your blessings really does help. I have met people in their fifties still renting a room in a house, and that must be really hard.
In terms of jobs, I am basically quiet quitting. I do what I need to keep my job, but I certainly do not go the extra mile.

Yes, I don't fall into that category so I doubt very much I would be considered.

Sorry! I get it now. Mine will be similar but we're (possibly naively) banking on being able to see our house and get a smaller one elsewhere. DH has state pension and about £6K on top and I'll have state and around £5K on top, so we'll be frugal!

I think this has to be my approach from now on.
I hear what you say, I have so much to be grateful for, I really do.

could you get a lodger?

or could you get an "easy" job for a year or two until retirement? e.g. supermarket or something less stress.

A supermarket is not an easy job. Only someone who has never done that job thinks it is easy.
An office job without much responsibility and a boss that is not at all dynamic is your best bet. Or an easy job such as taking people with learning disabilities out and about, or a note taker for disabled students.

I feel for you. I'm a year younger, recovering from breast cancer, have 2 years to go on the mortgage, and I'd love to stop now.
I could downsize but I still have a teen ds in school so no desire to disrupt him mid-exams, plus the cost of downsizing makes it hard to justify.
Just got to keep going 🙄I keep telling myself 2 years will pass fast enough.

Does local authority do retire and return like NHS? Ie take pension early then return to work for a couple of days a week.
I didn't do this but i carefully worked out what I needed to live on, took pension early (only small one of about £400 a month but this covers my small house bills and I only need food and spends money on top of this) then i work bank how ever many days I need to work which is only 1-2 a week. If they don't do retire and return in your old job you could, I'm sure with your skills, get contract work (not sure of correct terminology with admin as we would say locum/bank in NHS) as you are no longer paying into the pension scheme this also reduces the amount you need to earn each month and national insurance/tax is a lot less. I put the lump sum away for emergencies and have been doing this for a number of years now.......state pension getting ever closer😏

said it was down to money but it wasn’t that, just they wanted my skills

They clearly value you. Ask for a payrise.

Can you apply for a new job that pays more?

Could also apply for cont based esa as well as pip if had to stop work.

Yes they do let people do this after a short break. In fact I work with someone who was allowed to go (with redundancy) and came back, which really stings!
They need to let me go on the first place which includes there's a scheme I can go on my own accord but they reduce my pension on a sliding scale so it's lose about 25 percent.

They are obviously not keen to lose your skills, if I was you I would start talking about all your options with your supervisor, if they think they are going to lose you altogether they may come up with an offer but if not I'm afraid you have to be prepared to call their bluff! (I've also had circumstances which were a bitter pill to swallow with relation to opportunities at work which someone less qualified received and losing money with ex but it's more beneficial for one's own mental health to try to look forwards rather than backwards😏).
I just handed notice in and took the 9% reduction in pension for taking it early, a while later I was asked to return part time (there is a major shortage of my profession though) which is how I ended up on the bank and can pick and chose hours that suit me. The way I looked at it, many people work to retirement then die early and never benefit from all that money they put in or time to chill..... I'm firmly in the camp of 'bird in the hand'. I've definitely benefitted from working less for last few years, far less stressed/tired! Hope you can work something out👍

Not that frugal! Over £30k a year between you, mortgage paid off and no childcare / hungry mouths / Uni costs?

Check how much state pension you will be entitled to when 67. If you worked part time for many years in the past you may not have full years for some years. Are you on the correct medication. I have hypothyroidism and I feel exhausted if I am under medicated. Ask for a blood test to check. Could you work for another 3 years then retire 4 years early?

Thank you, it's just I know I can't face another 6 years of this
Some days I just sit and cry at my computer.

If it ends up that you can't find a way to change the situation then ask the GP for antidepressants to help you cope. You might even find that after being on them for a while you'd have the energy to make the changes that would help your mood, eg looking for another job, which you can't currently face. Depression causes lethargy so your tiredness may not all be from your autoimmune condition.

When I log into my nat insurance record it states I have full pension after 45 years (35 needed) but they still take my NI!!

So many people don't understand this about NI. Your NI contributions entitle you to a state pension. This isn't the same as saying your NI contributions are being used to fund a pension pot for yourself. That's not how they work. NI funds various things, not just pensions. The funds are gathered over your working lifetime and spent on what society needs, including the pension payments of those who are currently retired and a credit is issued against your name to say you've paid NI all that year. When you retire it's not your NI contributions that's paying for your state pension, it's the NI being paid by those currently working that pays for it.