Misophonia...

[AreYouHavingAGiraffeNoItsACamel]

I have extreme misophonia, to the point where I sweat and shake and will burst into tears whenever I'm alone if I've had a really bad day. I usually try to remove myself from the situation and deal with it privately as I know it's my problem, if someone is eating lunch etc. But lately there is a colleague in the very quiet open plan office I'm working in - he sniffs constantly and I mean CONSTANTLY. Every five seconds, from 9am to 5pm. Yesterday was absolutely terrible and I got very little work done. I can hardly tell him to stop because it might upset him (could be medical) and nobody else seems to hear it or be affected by it. It's not particularly loud, just repetitive and now that I've heard it I can't unhear it. It's complete torture for me.

I've ordered some calming ear buds but in the event of them not working I'm thinking the only solution is to buy some air pods and listen to white noise on my phone whilst working. Not music or anything distracting, just sounds of the sea or something. Low enough so that I can still communicate with people but high enough to drown this shit out (I don't use the phone much).

My boss is very supportive but I still feel like a twat. If I ask for this will I just look high maintenance and a bit nuts? The stress of this is honestly making me feel physically unwell.

You have my sympathy, I also have it bad and started a new job in January. I had to tell my new colleagues when I started that I have a sensory problem that means I need to wear noise cancelling headphones to concentrate. I just put them on as soon as the apples, crisps, coffee slurping etc starts. I've stopped caring what people think, it's the only way I can work. I wish I could go back to WFH so much, it was bliss.

I think you need to find a way to tell your team, in my last job I had screens put up round my desk so I didn't get the visual cues that would make me anxious about what was about to trigger me. I saw an occie health doctor who had never heard of misophonia but was sensitive enough to listen and to write to my employer to say that I needed certain adjustments. Get some good noise cancelling headphones and ask if you can work from home at least some of the week. Sniffing is awful, I sat next to a sniffer, I really liked her but I hated her during the work day. It's in your hands, you have to say something or find a new job where you can WFH in my opinion.

First of all, take some deep breaths and calm yourself.

Thousands and thousands and thousands of people find noises distracting. When you explain to your boss, just say 'I find listening to low level white noise really helps me focus'. Only if pushed do you need to explain in more detail. Depersonalise it unless really pushed - this is not about person x, this is about you finding that you concentrate much better if you do something that causes no harm to anyone else.

We can also (try to) practice zoning sounds out, this doesn't work for everyone.

I personally listen to rain.

So it's a reasonable request then? I mean it's not like I'll be listening to Eminem.

It is completely unremarkable in my workplace. Do you even need to request it? In my workplace you can do what you like so long as you're getting your work done and not disturbing anyone else.

Of course you can ask him to use a tissue! He is being unreasonable by sniffing all day. Just tell him.

This is what I'm hoping to be honest. To just put them in and hope nobody even cares

Yes, as long as you can answer the phone if it rings and take them off if someone needs to speak to you. No need to tell folk about the rage it creates, that might scare them, people understand sensory issues better these days.

Misophonia responds very well to remedial hypnosis as it's an emotional reaction rather than a physical one.

Thousands and thousands and thousands of people find noises distracting.

They do, it's true. Misophonia is not about being distracted though, it's far worse.

Yes I agree, but my point is the OP does not need to get so stressed at expressing a preference for headphones - it is completely normal in many open plan offices for people to wear headphones to help them work.

Unless the OP has a diagnosis of misophonia they are able to self-define anyway so can describe it as they wish to their manager.

My point is the OP can feel fine about wanting to wear headphones.

I do not know if I have misophonia or just find noise difficult. It does not matter to me which it is, I know I am not alone and I can find ways to manage it.