My step father has a 2-3 weeks to live following terminal cancer diagnosis …it’s been a year since the diagnosis but a lot of treatments to slow the progression etc. we’re very close as him and my mum have been together since I was a young child…however I feel like I’m not dealing with things in the right way. Like I don’t feel like I’m being very helpful to my mum (I’m offering lots but she just wants to deal with it herself) and I find it very difficult to know what to say when I see him. I feel like I struggle to even make eye contact with him and I don’t know how to talk to him in a normal way.
i suppose I feel like I should / should have been spending quality time with him during the last few months but I feel like I’ve been emotionally disconnected / avoidant. I’ve tried to spend time with him but he’s been so ill and He’s not really been up for talking but I know secretly I feel relieved when he isn’t up for talking because I don’t know what to say anyway.
not sure if any of this is making sense but just wondering if anyone else has felt a similar way and if there’s anything different I should be doing.
it sounds awful but I just want it to happen as I can’t bear the effect it’s having on my mum and all these invasive horrible treatments to buy him more time have just bought him months of feeling too ill to leave the house or be around people.