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Original poster

Got a place at private school and got a place in state school

28 replies

bananasinabowl · 18/04/2023 11:59

When do I need to tell the state school he is joining? I want to wait as one of us might lose our jobs (contractors), however that isn't fair is it? What would you do?

OP posts:
Original poster
bananasinabowl · 18/04/2023 12:00

*he is not joining!

OP posts:
HistoryFanatic · 18/04/2023 12:02

What happens if he joins the private and the job loss happens then? State one might be better if your jobs are a bit shaky.

CapaciousHag · 18/04/2023 12:16

If one of you loses work - do you have assets you can sell to make up the fees? You’d be expected to do that before you’d be considered for any bursary. And even then you might not get one.

Really it depends on the relative merit of the two schools. If the independent school is hugely better than the state, then I can understand you not wanting to give it up. If there’s not much difference, I’d hesitate to take such a foreseeable financial risk.

Aim for the sustainable choice … (When you tell the state school is pretty much neither here nor there, pupils arrive and leave all the time.)

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recklessgran · 18/04/2023 12:19

Is it a good state school OP? It's tricky if you think you have jobs at risk and you don't have the means to cover the fees from other sources such as savings, family help or inheritance. I'd probably opt for the state school OP. Perhaps hold on for a little while. If you don't take up your place in the end then I guess it will be given to appeals or waiting list?

junebirthdaygirl · 18/04/2023 12:24

There is nothing as stressful as dc being in a private school, doing well with lots of friends and some crisis causing you not to be able to afford it. At least in a regular school life goes on and you can save meantime for times of no contracts or for extra tutoring ( more holidays!) I would think seriously about state school if it's in any way decent.

Makewayforsummer · 18/04/2023 12:27

If you’re worried about jon insecurity in the next 5 months how are you manage in the next 14 years?

The date will depend on your LEA, check your letter/portal/email or how ever else you interact with them.

ginlovingqueen · 18/04/2023 14:31

Now. Tell them today

Somebody else wanted/wants/needs that spot and was probably devastated yesterday

CapaciousHag · 18/04/2023 14:39

That would be unwise. Every family in England is entitled to time to make up their minds - within whatever rules exist. Currently the place belongs to the OP’s child. Why would she give it up unless she’s certain her son has another school to go to?

HistoryFanatic · 18/04/2023 14:40

ginlovingqueen · 18/04/2023 14:31

Now. Tell them today

Somebody else wanted/wants/needs that spot and was probably devastated yesterday

Yeah I thought that. If definitely wanting to go private they shouldn't have taken a place.

TheSnowyOwl · 18/04/2023 14:43

What is the likelihood of needing that state school place? If it’s reasonable to high, then withdraw the private place now before you end up having to give a term’s notice. If you are on dubious financial ground regarding private education at this stage, it doesn’t bode at all well for the future.

Bimbom · 18/04/2023 14:54

ginlovingqueen · 18/04/2023 14:31

Now. Tell them today

Somebody else wanted/wants/needs that spot and was probably devastated yesterday

This. There are parents very stressed out right now and you're sitting on 2 places. Either your work is stable enough to support private or it isn't, make your mind up and relinquish the state place if that's the decision.

CapaciousHag · 18/04/2023 15:03

But no other family has a greater right to the state school place. The fact that others might want it is not something that can be laid at the OP’s door. Presumably she has also paid tax towards state education?

As long as she acts within the rules she cannot give up the place until she’s certain her son won’t need it.

morningamericano · 18/04/2023 15:05

You can always join private anytime but it's harder to join state especially if it's the "one".

Lavenderlaze · 18/04/2023 15:10

If you're worried about losing your jobs and being able to afford school fees then why on earth enrol your child at all?

Surely it would be far less disruptive to just enrol them at the state school.

thrownspannerintheworks · 18/04/2023 15:12

I am in a somewhat similar boat where my child has been offered a state school we did not anticipate getting and have arranged a tour to confirm my decision.

After thinking about it pretty much non-stop since the email came, we will probably go with the private but I will be viewing the school next week and making an informed choice.

I have absolutely no intention to hold onto a place any longer than necessary (and will decide before deadline) but I will be keeping it until we are absolutely certain of our choice. There is nothing immoral about it - we pay tax too and have been allocated the place fairly according to school process.

It must be considered - your financial situation is not definite at this point, how do you propose to manage the upcoming 7 years fees and increases?

ostentatiousocelot · 18/04/2023 15:18

Won't you have to pay a substantial deposit to confirm your acceptance of the private school place? And after a certain point become liable for the first term's fees? I think you probably need at least a reasonable certainty that you can afford it before you get in that deep. But I wouldn't decline the state school place before you are fairly certain that you can afford the private one. It doesn't sound as if you're in a proper position to know that you won't be taking up the state place yet, so I would wait. I think it only becomes unfair if you know it's vanishingly unlikely that you'll take up the state place but hang on to it anyway.

LIZS · 18/04/2023 15:20

If you cancel your private place any later than the start of this term, possibly already, you will owe a term's fees in lieu. Is the state school oversubscribed?

Reugny · 18/04/2023 15:29

Put him in the state school.

Simply because you are worried about losing your jobs and affording the fees.

The contractors I'm related to and know who educate/educated their kids privately ensured they had the money for a couple of years fees and costs in advance.

Heronwatcher · 18/04/2023 15:33

Ethically you should tell the state school as soon as you can in case someone is waiting for the place. Also do you really want to start getting all the new starter bumf for the state school? Legally you could probably leave it until you start getting chased by the school/ council when your DC doesn’t turn up in September but that would obviously be a shit thing to do.

I agree with PPs though, there is no way I would send my DCs to private school without being 100% confident I could meet the fees until they finish. If you’re in any doubt, go state and spend the excess on extra curricular stuff.

GiltEdges · 18/04/2023 15:50

Heronwatcher · 18/04/2023 15:33

Ethically you should tell the state school as soon as you can in case someone is waiting for the place. Also do you really want to start getting all the new starter bumf for the state school? Legally you could probably leave it until you start getting chased by the school/ council when your DC doesn’t turn up in September but that would obviously be a shit thing to do.

I agree with PPs though, there is no way I would send my DCs to private school without being 100% confident I could meet the fees until they finish. If you’re in any doubt, go state and spend the excess on extra curricular stuff.

Nonsense. What you're basically saying is unless you have the money in savings to cover your child's entire private schooling then you shouldn't even consider it. That's like saying if you have to rely on a job to pay your mortgage you should rent forever instead. But that would be ridiculous, because much of life is about taking calculated risks.

Heronwatcher · 18/04/2023 15:56

@GiltEdges no I mean that if one or both of us lost our jobs we could cover the fees from elsewhere, whether that’s by a remortgage, selling a second property or car, making economies elsewhere. Of course I’d hope that this wouldn’t be necessary but in my view it’s the only responsible approach. It doesn’t sound as though this is the DP’s position given that she’s effectively waiting to see if she can afford it even at this point and given that they’re both contractors.

WheelsUp · 18/04/2023 15:58

If your jobs are shaky then I'd take the state slot and work on finding a more secure job in time for 7+ or later.

gogohmm · 18/04/2023 16:02

I'm guessing this is for reception. Accept the state school place and release the private one - save up for the later years when private is more advantageous

Lcb123 · 18/04/2023 16:03

If it's even a tiny risk you wont be able to afford the fees, I'd go state. So disruptive and stressful to have to move them

PicaK · 18/04/2023 16:21

You have 2 weeks to confirm in our LA.
Nothing to stop you holding your place until the last minute except ethically.

FYI there is a census day in early October. However many kids are on roll on that day sets how much money the school will receive in April 24 for the 24/25 financial year. Each kid is worth about £4k roughly. So you don't want to stuff the other children in the school by leaving it so late in Sept the school can't move fast enough to offer places to have kids start by census day.
There is usually a waiting list in place for Reception places even in Sept. Places are usually filled if they crop up. Except it seems to be a low birth rate year in many places.