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Original poster

Should i take my grandmother to the gp or hospital or just leave her in bed i have no idea what to do.

31 replies

Anothernightofnosleep · 18/04/2023 05:30

My grandmother has been living with us fir a few weeks - she was in hospital a week but has been home a while now. Since coming here she has improved - she is eating, not being sick and smiling.

BUT she is still saying she is in a lot of pain in her back/side and is extremely tired - refusing to get out of bed. She can just about walk down the hallway to the toilet by putting her arms around me but thats is.

She had loads of tests at the hospital and tbh they couldnt find much wrong with her - she is amazingly healthy. They called yesterday to say that the ct scan she had showed a cyst in her pancreas which they were asking an expert to look at but they may decide it needs no treatment.

the thing is she is still crying seriously complaining about back/side pain and is basically bed ridden - as i say despite being told she us medically healthy.

I am sure that being in bed 24 hours a day is not a good plan i managed to get her to a living room chair yesterday for 2 hours but she was saying she was in pain and tired and begged to go back to bed after 2 hours.

we are waiting for a registration appointment at the gp but they said use the walk in clinic there for any problems or a and e if needed.

The thing is though if theres nothing showing up as wrong with her i dont feel like theres a reason to bother them again! They will see she has perfect heart rate and blood pressure and send her home with paracetamol again!

social services assessments were not that much help tbh we have a toilet frame now but that isnt helping withe the pain. They just told her to move regularly so she doesnt get bed sores.

what the heck do i do tomorrow?!
do we just leave her in bed or should we take her back to a doctor about the pain?

OP posts:
VioletPickles · 18/04/2023 05:33

Back to the doctors. I’m no medical professional but something clearly isn’t right.

MistySkiesAreGone · 18/04/2023 05:34

My gut feeling is that pain should be a guide i.e. if it's causing significant distress then needs a doctor. However you could call 111 for advice.

JuneOsborne · 18/04/2023 05:35

Yes, take her to get her pain under control. Tbh, I'd see if I could call and speak to a Dr to save her having to go anywhere, because it sounds like that will be very difficult for her.

But, yes, try and help with the pain she's in.

Sounds like you're doing a great job. Advocating for someone in pain can be daunting. Flowers

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General health
PinkDaffodil2 · 18/04/2023 05:43

I would definitely get her seen to discuss pain relief - it sounds like she is in significant pain which needs controlling regardless of the cause.
How long is she planning on living with you? Get her seen as a temporary patient as your surgery tomorrow.

Alleysonne · 18/04/2023 06:34

Just because the cause of the pain hasn't yet been identified doesn't mean it's not real. Help her get pain relief by getting her in contact with a doctor today.

Yerroblemom1923 · 18/04/2023 06:46

She needs pain relief so worth speaking to her GP to sort that out. I'd also be concerned about muscle atrophy if she is spending so much time in bed and not moving about.

cushioncovers · 18/04/2023 06:49

Gp and push for OT and physio referrals to see if she needs a different sort of bed and exercises she can do etc. have you checked for pressure sores?

Woahtherehoney · 18/04/2023 06:55

You absolutely need to take her to either the walk in centre or A&E and push to get them to see her if necessary - it might be they aren’t doing the right tests or looking at the right things but something clearly isn’t ok if she’s in that much pain and you shouldn’t ignore her telling you that she is (I know you’re not actually ignoring her and are trying to make her comfortable, I just mean you need to take it further)

Similarsituationtothis · 18/04/2023 07:09

If I were you, I'd try the GP today. If you get no luck, you could try 111, but don't be surprised if they don't get back to you. Or if they do, for a wait of 48+ hours.
I know the NHS website says 999 only for emergencies, but they will triage over the phone and would hopefully send paramedics to assess her.
We had this with my grandmother and the paramedics took her in. They were so kind to her. It's better than taking her to A&E yourself as they will transport her there more comfortably on a stretcher/bed.

We've had it drummed into us so much that anything other than heart attack/stroke/broken limbs/ bleeding are wasting everyone's time but we were treated well and she was taken seriously.
My grandmother was admitted to a medical ward and they said she won't be discharged until her pain is under control and the frailty team have assessed her and her home to work out what care needs she has. There is a crisis care team who can be put in place if it's necessary.

If she does get admitted, let them know how difficult you are finding it to care for her - don't just agree to have her home before assessments have been done. If she's in bed all the time she needs a hospital bed and expert care to ensure she doesn't get pressure sores, and possibly equipment to assist her to get to her commode.
Really feel for you in this situation. It's obviously awful for you grandmother and it's very stressful for you as her care.
I wish you the very best of luck x

Socialdistancechampion · 18/04/2023 07:14

Even if they can't find a cause she needs medical attention. I assume they ruled out a UTI/kidney infection/stones?

Similarsituationtothis · 18/04/2023 07:15

Ps don't hang about - we wasted three days trying to get a GP appointment! We kept being told that all the appointments had gone and to ring next day. We couldn't even get a call back from the doctor, it was just nope, she'll have to wait her turn. No advance appointments available. And in the hospital we have overheard similar stories from the families of other patients, who also resorted to ringing 999 to get their loved ones seen.

googledidnthelp · 18/04/2023 07:20

How old is she? What was she hospitalised for? How much pain relief does she take to still be feeling in so much pain?

I think all of these would be a factor for me, but then my grandmother would be very upset to be hospitalised if she didn't want to be and was happy to struggle just about like you describe.

Rutaceae · 18/04/2023 07:22

If you are in England there is a National Urgent Crisis Response (UCR) service which should be available in the community to see patients such as your Grandmother. This is the team who should be assessing her at home to try and avoid another hospital admission.
I’m my area they are called Hospital at Home (but could be called something like the Rapid Response Team).
Made up up advanced clinical practitioners, nurses, therapists and sometimes with a doctor.
I’d do a belt and braces approach and call 111 and the GP to try to access them.

Wetnwindy · 18/04/2023 07:23

First of all well done for taking on this responsibility of looking after your Grandma ,I really hope you are getting suppoyfrom rest of family and SS .
Definitely contact GP or 111 regarding her pain .Be as assertive as possible because the pain needs sorting . Am guessing the ruled out kidney problems but she still needs pain relief .

Michael59345 · 18/04/2023 07:38

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HyuNis · 18/04/2023 07:45

Get her seen by a GP. They may refer her to the local elderly care team.
She needs the pain assessed and got under control with meds, and Physio and OT to get her mobile again and improve her independence. She should not be staying in bed all day, that's really bad for older people

determinedtomakethiswork · 18/04/2023 07:50

My mum had a lot of pain in her back and legs when she had a UTI. After several days of antibiotics she was alright again.

I really think that you should get her seen today. As someone said above there is an emergency response team that can come out.

Just as an aside, though, a walking frame might help her get to the toilet.

violetscarlet · 18/04/2023 07:53

You can request a home visit from the GP. This is a good idea under the circumstances as she will be seen in her own environment and how difficult she is finding life.
Plus it'll be less stress for her.

Similarsituationtothis · 18/04/2023 07:59

We would have definitely called an emergency response team - if we'd known about it!
Why aren't these things out there so people know about them? All our GP receptionist could tell us was 'well if you're that worried take her to A&E'.
I've just searched online and still none the wiser about how to get hold of them locally, though perhaps if I'd asked at the surgery I'd have got some sense out of them then. I doubt it to be honest as this particular practice is notorious for this sort of thing, I know now.
It's appalling that you are expected to know what questions you need to ask, before you get any answers.
Thinking of you OP

Similarsituationtothis · 18/04/2023 08:00

violetscarlet · 18/04/2023 07:53

You can request a home visit from the GP. This is a good idea under the circumstances as she will be seen in her own environment and how difficult she is finding life.
Plus it'll be less stress for her.

They seem to be a thing of the past 😔

LadyGardenersQuestionTime · 18/04/2023 08:11

If a series of hospital tests haven’t found anything then try your own GP with her as a temporary resident. I would also want her actually in front of someone who could expedite pain relief and/or refer her to a pain clinic and/or a frailty team. My GP would send out the practice paramedic on a home visit, but all surgeries are different and I know ours is particularly responsive.

999 is not going to help - they won’t be able to diagnose anything and can only either leave her at home or take her back to hospital and she will be very low priority (although they might just have access to an emergency appointment at your GP).

Similarsituationtothis · 18/04/2023 08:13

@Anothernightofnosleep assuming you are in the UK:
I've just googled the National Urgent Crisis Response Team as a pp mentioned above. In my area you ring your local hospital switchboard to get hold of them, it seems. I found that info way down the page!

Missingthegore · 18/04/2023 08:20

From what you are saying I am worried about her bum. She could have a "bed sore" I.e. a pressure injury if she has been in bed for a few days on a domestic bed and not repositioning.
Look at her skin and give it a poke to see if anything is boggy, see if any red areas that don't resolve after turning her on her side for half and hr. You are looking at the area around her tail bone or coxxyx.

A pressure injury may be overt with skin breaks or a dark red / black bruise like patch.
Do you have access to an OT or community nurse to give you some proper advice?

Rutaceae · 18/04/2023 08:51

Similarsituationtothis · 18/04/2023 07:59

We would have definitely called an emergency response team - if we'd known about it!
Why aren't these things out there so people know about them? All our GP receptionist could tell us was 'well if you're that worried take her to A&E'.
I've just searched online and still none the wiser about how to get hold of them locally, though perhaps if I'd asked at the surgery I'd have got some sense out of them then. I doubt it to be honest as this particular practice is notorious for this sort of thing, I know now.
It's appalling that you are expected to know what questions you need to ask, before you get any answers.
Thinking of you OP

In our area you can only access the UCR team via referral from a health care professional. The teams are relatively small and visits extremely time intensive so some form of gate keeping needs to happen to ensure the correct patients are referred and accepted.
I know this as I used to work in a Hospital at Home team (the equivalent of UCR) and would frequently be on triage where I would take referrals from HCPs and either accept or sign post to other services.
We would take referrals from:
GPs
Paramedics
111
Community HCPs (District nurses, Community therapists)
Hospital urgent treatment centre.

From what info the OP has given this would probably be a good referral to the UCR team, although I’d want some more history re what her recent admission to hospital was for, her usual baseline, past medical history/drugs history and any other significant history (like falls).

SlipSlidinAway · 18/04/2023 08:59

I'd push for a home visit from the GP. Our GP has been out several times to MIL as it would have been too difficult for her to get to the surgery.