Is it OK for a Yr7 pupil to be home alone for an hour after school?

[Pipsquiggle]

Trying to sort out my childcare from Sept onwards.

At the moment I pay quite a lot of money for wrap around care for my 2DC - long story, but they currently go to different primary schools, one of which didn't have any breakfast or afterschool clubs. Both DH & I work FT

My eldest starts secondary school in Sept. They will take the train. They will get back at 4:30ish each day. We will get in usually around 5pm-5:30pm. Would it be OK for him to be on his own for this amount of time? Is it the done thing? They are usually pretty sensible.

I am thinking this will be a couple of times a week, as they will probably join some form of clubs / societies.

Well, until the point at which he hits his Y9 growth spurt, at any rate.

Yes, but if there is any likelihood he might lose or forget his key, have a key safe instead. Make sure he knows what to do if he misses the train, it is cancelled or he misses his stop.

absolutely not

Why not?

I think they're safer at home than on a train. Just discuss rules around cooking/food etc.

@RudsyFarmer

I know, all that having to parent your own children, shocking expectation from
society.

'rules/Laws' do not work. Children & their families, locations, support systems are all different. If they make a law it has to cater to the least able, least supported child, which then has a huge impact on the families with more able/supported children.

start small & build up if you're not sure about your child.

@Pipsquiggle Homework club can be a good option for several reasons. If your DH wants to do that, tell him sure, when you find one get him booked in & help him find the mist suitable train afterwards 😊'. You're fine with him coming home, if DH isn't, he can do the legwork!

Wow what an unpleasant post to pop up in my inbox. Thanks very much for taking the time to write such a nasty spew in my direction.

@RudsyFarmer

I posted, in the open, on this thread. If you choose to get notifications of posts to your email that's up you.

The implication I sent you a PM is unjust.

I don't think it was unpleasant. Wanting laws to raise everyone's children by so you don't have to make decisions yourself is ridiculous as I explained.🤷🏻‍♀️

I disagree. I think you had a nasty vent in my direction and I hope you’re satisfied you caused the upset you intended.

I disagree. Guidelines to cater to the most able, most supported child as a minimum age would be useful. If it was, say, 'age 8-9, limit two hours, child is safe and capable of remaining so' then a parent could feel confident leaving a child without fear of ss involvement in the absence of any other concerns.

@RudsyFarmer

it was not a nasty vent, I didn't 'intend to cause upset'. My post is on this thread, please stops implying I contacted you via PM, which I did not.

There was nothing nasty about what I said.

^I know, all that having to parent your own children, shocking expectation from
society.

'rules/Laws' do not work. Children & their families, locations, support systems are all different. If they make a law it has to cater to the least able, least supported child, which then has a huge impact on the families with more able/supported children.

start small & build up if you're not sure about your child^

i

@Okunevo there are guidelines for those who want/need them.

Rudsy wants laws. It does not work.

@SorePaw I don't think 'under 12's are rarely old enough to be left for long periods' is sufficient if that's what you mean? What is a long period? I'd guess more than two hours but others may disagree. What age can you leave a mature and sensible child in a safe and secure home for short periods, 6, 8, 10?

Then 12 is a problem when children start secondary at 11, what should lone parents like me do when there is a long period of time like an inset day and you have 4-5 weeks annual leave, total?

@Okunevo you should do what you think your child is capable of & happy with.

That's the point, there isn't one answer that suits every child & every situation.

you need to build up the time your children & you are happy with.

Same.

This is what I did do, he is now 16. However, the lack of guidelines meant when I moved here and had to leave him home alone under 12 I was always anxious that I might get reported. He was capable and I was happy to leave him. I felt much more secure where we lived previously as he could have told his teacher he was being left home alone, as a mandatory reporter they could then go online to check if this was appropriate for his age, and in the absence of any other concerns or factors they would be told it was okay.

Depends on the child but I’d say so.

I'd be shocked if an 11 year old (without SEN) couldn't deal with this just fine. It seems like an ideal way for the child to get some independence and build up a routine around coming home from school.

We do it occasionally if I have to go and fetch a younger sibling from an activity. He is very responsible though.

I’m a childminder and I don’t know a single childminder who has ever had a year 7 child. They all just go home themselves round here, parents get back when they get back. I am here really so when he was in year 7 I was mostly at home, and it was nice for him. But I don’t and didn’t worry if I wasnt home.

I wish people would stop saying "without SEN" my 11 yr old is autistic and perfectly fine to be left for an hour on his own. He has no learning difficulties and is probably more sensible than the majority of boys in his year in school. Special EDUCATIONAL Needs have nothing to do with how capable or sensible a child is and that's what dictates whether they are safe to be left on their own for X amount of time. Barriers to education have nothing to do with it.

I think it's to stop people jumping on to say that SEN hasn't been considered. I am autistic and was babysitting a three year old for whole days at 14.

Being at home for an hour isn't a problem at all. IME it's pretty normal for y7 upwards although you may also find that if his friends are going to homework club or another club it is his preference to go too.

I would concentrate on preparing him for managing the train commute. What should he do if he misses the 4pm or if it's cancelled? He can't wait on the platform for 1h20 in winter. Is there a warm waiting room or can he return to school to wait?

I'd be very surprised if there isn't a homework club, or at least some supervision in the library at the end of the day for students who wish to use it - especially if it is a school that many pupils travel reasonably far to.

But yes, completely agree with you that an hour at home is fine.

A keysafe will save you having eleventy billion keys cut over the years or the locks changed.
Only realised this with DD3!