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Original poster

Controlling parents.

19 replies

Hotfuninthesummertime · 17/04/2023 17:07

Give me strength. I'm in my 30s. Single parent to reception child. I have a partner but he's not my child's father. We are buying a house together and it just reminds me why my sibling doesn't tell my parents anything. They're so controlling. I had the pictures of the house taken today and I overhead my parents moaning the place is a mess. It most definitely is not. They're sending me houses to see that I don't want. They just make everything more stressful.

OP posts:
Original poster
Hotfuninthesummertime · 17/04/2023 17:27

😶

OP posts:
NoodleNuts · 17/04/2023 17:48

Perhaps you should be more like your sibling and not tell them anything, and definitely don't look at houses that you don't want!

Original poster
Hotfuninthesummertime · 17/04/2023 17:52

My ex is awful si basically if I want childfree time I have to rely on them so u have to keep a relationship of sorts.

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Aquamarine1029 · 17/04/2023 17:54

Hotfuninthesummertime · 17/04/2023 17:52

My ex is awful si basically if I want childfree time I have to rely on them so u have to keep a relationship of sorts.

You don't have to rely on them, you choose to. Get a babysitter or give up child free time. If you want your parents to back off then the onus is on you to make changes.

Original poster
Hotfuninthesummertime · 17/04/2023 18:04

OK thanks you for the advice.

OP posts:
junebirthdaygirl · 17/04/2023 18:53

Just ignore their suggestions. Buy whatever house you want. My sisters and l have a good laugh over what our dms first comment on each of our new houses was. All negativealthough the houses were fine!!. Its a long standing joke. Don't take it to heart..just shrug it off and keep information to a minimum.

Original poster
Hotfuninthesummertime · 17/04/2023 19:45

I cant live my life to please them at the end of the day.

OP posts:
Original poster
Hotfuninthesummertime · 17/04/2023 19:50

It's easy to say find alternative childcare but I don't want to leave my kid with someone I don't know and can't afford. I've decided to reduce the amount I ask them though.

OP posts:
KitKatLove · 17/04/2023 19:50

They said your house looked messy which is rude and sent you some properties that they think you might like.

Hardly controlling.

Original poster
Hotfuninthesummertime · 17/04/2023 19:56

Its a long line of behaviour. This isn't a one off. It's gone on for years. They tell me how to parent my child, call me lazy which I defo am not, my mum told me I was a pita as a child. I was woken up at 1am as a child to clean the house once.

OP posts:
ArmchairAnarchist2 · 17/04/2023 20:03

Don't inflict them on your child if they're that bad, even if it means no free time.

GettingStuffed · 17/04/2023 20:27

My husband is a bit like this. He's probably autistic but at nearly 70 it's too late to try to get him tested. In his case it's not that he thinks his ideas are better but he worries that they might miss out on something if he doesn't show them.

Coffeellama · 17/04/2023 20:33

if they’re so horrible stop leaving your child with them. Sending you links to houses to look at when you are house searching isn’t exactly controlling though.

Aquamarine1029 · 17/04/2023 20:46

Hotfuninthesummertime · 17/04/2023 19:56

Its a long line of behaviour. This isn't a one off. It's gone on for years. They tell me how to parent my child, call me lazy which I defo am not, my mum told me I was a pita as a child. I was woken up at 1am as a child to clean the house once.

Why are you leaving your child with them if they are this awful?

Original poster
Hotfuninthesummertime · 17/04/2023 20:49

They're good grandparents

OP posts:
romdowa · 17/04/2023 20:59

Look up the grey Rock method . Then use it when you deal with them.

Original poster
Hotfuninthesummertime · 17/04/2023 21:11

Thank you I have decided to reduce my dependence on them. I feel like other people are running my life.

OP posts:
Choccyeggs20 · 17/04/2023 21:34

Just keep more stuff to yourself!

Loria · 17/04/2023 21:45

OP it's okay to have your parents help with childcare while simultaneously putting in place boundaries in other areas of your life. Just because someone looks after your children you don't have to listen to them being rude to you. Similarly, you can tell someone to stop being rude to you and also have them help with your children.

I mean, yes, it's nice of them to help but that doesn't mean they get to treat you thoughtlessly or unkindly at other times.

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