How to become more assertive and not to people-please

[Cv80]

I'm trying to become more assertive, to try and not do or say what suits other people - as I've come to realise most people suit themselves anyway - and to feel more comfortable saying no to things that don't suit me, also to care less what people think of me. I know this all probably stems from low self esteem so I'd be grateful for any tips!

Following! I am also a chronic people pleaser, I put everyone's needs and likes before my own, particularly family.

Are you also an overthinker and thoughtful person?

The only progress I've made is thinking of myself in third person, and pretending I'm making decisions for some one else (for myself) and therefore treating myself as if I'm someone else - it's crazy that we put ourselves through things to suit other people's happiness when WE are people too, deserving love and happiness as much as anyone else

I'd recommend reading nice girls don't get the corner office. It really helped me! Admittedly it is very business/work focused but the same principles apply.

Also using the following replies:
I'll get back to you on that.
Why do you ask?

Yes, I'm an overthinker and suffer with anxiety, which doesn't help

I think it gets easier the more you do it.

Perhaps you might benefit from therapy?

I also have anxiety, particularly health anxiety but since becoming sober over 2 years ago my anxiety has disappeared, it's been the best decision I've ever made. What's your alcohol intake? I was self medicating with wine for my health anxiety and of course making it 100 times worse but now with a clear head I've got my anxiety completely under control and am now in control of my thoughts.

But being sober hasn't cured my need to make sure everyone is happy, making decisions that benefit everyone around me yet putting myself last. I suppose we are just caring people who unfortunately can be taken advantage of.

Try thinking of yourself as a separate person before making decisions and ask yourself 'does this decision benefit Cv80 and if it doesn't then refuse it, we weren't put on this earth to benefit everyone else