Are you and your partner both readers?

[PapitoSpice]

… and does it matter?

I’m a moderately big reader. I’ve always got a book on the go, and a pile of books to read or on my kindle.

DH who studied a social science at Oxbridge (a clever man if I say so, cleverer than me) maybe reads one book a year, if that. He does a professional job but reading is not something he does.

The main impact reading has on me, apart from being a very calming activity, I find it makes me curious (I read fiction, non-fiction (history, politics, science)). I’d love to talk about some of these things with DH but we can’t.

In the end, it’s fine, I have other friends I can talk to, but I find it a little sad that DH isn’t a reader.

Do you and your partners read and does it matter?

I'm a big reader, both fiction and non fiction, while DH reads one or two books a year. When we first got together I found it surprising, but that was 26 years ago so I'm used to it now! I do talk to him about what I'm reading and he is interested to hear it or pretends to be.

We are both bookworms as are our children luckily!

DH and I both read every day, usually last thing at night. We often discuss the books we are reading although we have wildly different tastes and will ask each other how our books are going etc.

Both of us are big readers of both fiction and non-fiction. He is perhaps a bit more literary than I am; his favourite book is The Inheritance of Loss or On Beauty (both excellent). He also reads a lot of pop-culture and music memoir stuff; Nick Cave and Jarvis Cocker and Nick Hornby. I read literary fiction but also love a thriller (just finished Trespasses which is both and INCREDIBLE).

It's important to us as it's a shared value and definitely something we talk about. Plus we now have a 'one in, one out' physical book policy at home as our bookshelves are heaving!

Now, if only our eldest DS was in any way interested in picking up a book... 🤷🏻‍♀️

We're both keen readers but like totally different books. After 18 years together we finally swapped books last week on holiday when we both ran out of material, and both enjoyed the others' choice.

I love reading, read constantly in my spare time, been this way since I was very small. DH last read a book when he was a child and the only reading he does now is the Ag Trader or Farmers Guide 🤣 it doesn’t matter a bit, why would it? We have so much other stuff to talk about, I have little interest in discussing books anyway.

I’m a big reader. DH occasionally reads books on history or sport, but mostly doesn’t. I do wish we could discuss books and fiction, and if I was single and looking for a partner again it would probably be something I’d pay attention to.

I felt very alone until I saw this thread!

We both read fiction but totally different genres, I can't think of a single book that we've both read. I'm in a book club and discuss what I'm reading there, with friends, quite often at work with colleagues too so it's not a problem.

The main difference for us is that I read a lot more other stuff, newspapers, magazines, all sorts online, follow lots of interesting FB pages and read articles linked there, or on MN. Whereas DH watches a lot more TV and films than I do. We do a pub quiz and I am useless at film and TV stuff but great at random pieces of information. He's the other way round.

Yes we both read. Books are read in bed every night. I too love books, always have been an avid reader. I have often thought that I am lucky that dh also values books. I have a SIL who says she has never read a book but she reads a paper and does a crossword every day. When she told me I felt really sad and wondered what her early experience with books was. Was she read to? Did her school value and try to encourage reading for pleasure and information. There was an educationist named Margaret Meek who talked about sharing a book with a child and “ climbing into a book”. Of course when I was a young child there was the radio but no tv until I was older when we had a single channel to watch. The radio fed the imagination like no other. Journey Into Space by Charles Chilton was an example in those pre technical days. I lived at the library hunting down Enid Blyton and Just William books etc.

DH isn't a reader but he is very curious, and we talk about things like politics and science all the time. (Neither of us are as interested in history). We will tend to spark a discussion from a news story, or a podcast, or an interaction online or with a RL friend.

I don't often discuss what I read with him, not because it's a secret, just because it hasn't really occurred to me! Sometimes I do.

I am a reader, I don't think DP has picked up a book in about 10 years. He does not read. Highly intelligent guy so when I read a book and something about it fascinates me I will tell him and we can have a discussion about it but I think I would think something was off if he volunteered to pick up a book to be honest.

I love reading but haven’t sat down to read a book for way too long. DH doesn’t read at all.

My mums a massive reader, my dad isn’t. My sister and I were brought up to be bookworms. I always thought this was a good thing.

A few years ago we were on holiday with my parents and my sister. One evening my sister and I were all sitting outside reading, my dad came out to join us and said to DH ‘there you go, story of my life’ and went and sat on his own. It struck me how lonely / left out he probably felt at times. Particularly now that it’s just him and mum at home.

my mum has her kindle in her hand all the time. like always. she reads at the table during meals. She reads when we are meant to be watching a film. If we are having an aperitif before dinner, she’ll have a book open on her lap while we are talking. When my children were small and they tried to get her attention to play, they always had to break through the barrier of a book or a kindle held up to her face. She and my dad moan on about young people ‘always having a phone stuck in front of their faces’ which is a bit ironic.

It’s really made me look at being ‘a reader’ in a different light.

DH is a moderate reader. And I’ve pulled way back on it. I set aside ‘reading time’ and try to stick to that (easy enough since my smart phone killed my ability to focus 🙄).

I read a LOT. DH doesn’t read much, sometimes reads on holiday.

He’s happy to talk about books though, we have overlapping tastes in fiction, he just prefers movies.

Interesting to read everyone's responses. One thing I've noticed about my reading is that thinking about what to read is a big part of being a reader (what will I read next, how does it fit with what I've just read), and this activity is also a big part of my reading life. It's not just the act of physically reading the books itself. It involves reading reviews, seeing what friends are reading, etc.

Neither of us are big readers. When I do read it's more likely to be forums, articles etc than fiction. DH reads fiction like Jack Reacher. Both educated to postgrad level in STEM subjects. I do like to read but find it hard to focus with life so busy, when I get downtime I need to use that time to keep abreast of current events rather than fiction.

I read a lot, prefer non fiction to fiction overall but I do read both.
Dh only reads books on holiday, he read 3 sporting autobiographies during our last holiday.
It’s a personal hobby though, we don’t read the same or even similar books but we will both share interesting things from books we’ve read if we think the other person will be interested.

We both read a lot. But there is next to no overlap in genres! And when we do occasionally read the same book DH prefers not to discuss it (he feels no need to discuss a book he's enjoyed). I'm in a book club so I get to discuss books with those friends. We both read various papers, magazines and online stuff too, and often discuss those subjects - current affairs etc (but never fiction).

My DH can’t read - he can read enough to get by in life but it takes a lot of effort and he’s slow at it. He’s actually much better since DS came along as he reads to him at bedtime every night. He had an abusive childhood, was kept off school a lot and never had books at home. Nevertheless he’s very practical and has done very well in life regardless. He watches videos to learn. He would never pick up a book.

I read all the time, mainly fiction as I like the escape. We still talk to each other about what we read / watch / learn. It’s never bothered me that he doesn’t read.

I used to be a big reader, massive bookworm as a kid and did an Eng Lit degree. I've lost the love for it somewhat and really struggle to focus on reading since I had a child, but I'm sure I'll go back to it when my time is my own again.

My partner doesn't read fiction at all, he doesn't enjoy it (he also really dislikes anything fantasy/other worldy). He does read for information and non-fiction books sometimes, but he reads very slowly and is absolutely not 'a reader'. He positively dislikes reading.

I think he's missing out (and I find it strange that a very intelligent man reads so slowly... but his intelligence is more maths/science/practical than language) but it has absolutely no bearing on our relationship. We have lots of different interests and some similar ones.

I read loads. Dh has never read a book in the whole time we’ve been together (15 years). It doesn’t bother me but I think sometimes he thinks I’m antisocial reading which is annoying

I read or listen to an audiobook every spare moment I can. DH sometimes listens along with me and did download audible to listen to a series that he particularly enjoyed but beyond that he doesn't really read. He will occasionally pick up a thriller on holiday but more often not.

In all honestly it doesn't bother me much. He is happy to do his own thing and indulges me rambling on at him about books he had never read. The only time it is an issue is when I've read the book that's been adapted to a film/series and I comment on the differences.

We both read but interests only overlap by a thin margin. We do share some books and talk about them but that's maybe 2-3x a year.

I still can talk about all kind of subjects with DH, we both read newspaper and magazine articles, he also listen to podcasts.

The fact that I like to read gay romance novels and he doesn't is not an issue in our relationship.

Yes, we do - with some overlap in taste so we pass books between each other.

Yes we are well at least we were. DH has stopped reading and is bloody gaming instead which annoys the hell out of me. Actually we met at work and one of the things that got us chatting was a book that was on my desk

I read (and at a great pace). DH will have a book on the go but it’s a standing joke that if he’s out for the evening I often steal it, read it and he can have it back the next evening. I no longer read great literature in the way I did before children because I have less uninterrupted leisure time (and less brain space). But I expect that to change as the DC get older. I have got better (over the last 20 years) at predicting what DH will enjoy and he gets me to pick him a small selection when we go away, which is flattering now I think of it.