Not really sure what I'm hoping to gain from this post, but perhaps some suggestions on how to better cope with the stresses of my children and husband and home life.
I've never been one to drink at home. Only socially while out to dinner or with friends. Maybe 1-2 times a month max. But this Easter break with the children has really done my head in.
I'm diagnosed ADHD and both my children are likely ADHD as well. The noise and chaos that comes from them is literally driving me insane. They don't shut up. My eldest who is 11 is constantly thumping or banging, making repetitive noises or singing songs with heavy beats and just repeating the same lyrics over and over and over again. No matter how many times I ask nicely to stop, or then get angry and literally beg for DC1 to stop. The incessant noise can drive me to tears sometimes because it just does not stop.
My youngest is 5 and talks so loudly (suspected Sensory Processing Disorder) talks incredibly loudly and literally doesn't shut up. It's constant natter and chatter.
I was stuck in a car with them and husband recently for a few hours. Both children in the back joking and messing about for the entire duration of the ride. My husband moaning and sulking and being is usual dick head self. Putting in ear plugs to only slightly dull the noise and zoning out is literally the only way I can cope in the car. Once at home I felt so mentally drained and assaulted with sensory overload from the day I had to have a drink to escape and just dull everything down.
Once the children are in bed and my husband finally heads up I just sit downstairs in our lounge and watch TV on my own for hours to kind of decompress from the stress of having to live with them all.
Sometimes even the next day I still can't get over how stressed they make me. I just want peace. A normal quiet stress free day. But this never happens. I'm finding myself more and more like I want to drink to escape from my family that terrorise my senses.
Can anyone offer any advice? What can I do to mentally escape? How can I cope when I feel like I no longer can? It's got to the point where I think about harming myself, drinking to escape from them, I even dream about running away and not returning. I hate my life at the moment and just feel the urge to drink in the evenings as an escape, it I know that's not the greatest solution. 😕