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Original poster

Husbands hangover

26 replies

TimeforaHol · 16/04/2023 19:06

Husband went to a work do yesterday. An open house type thing which started at 4pm, an hour away. He was also doing a 3-hr driving lesson in the morning so I spent all day looking after our 2 year old. Yesterday he reckoned the party would wind down fairly early and he was talking about getting a taxi home round 8/9/10pm. He came home at 3.30am however, steaming drunk.

I had an appointment at 9am today which he knew about and had previously said would be fine since he'd be home early from the work party / wouldn't drink much etc.

In the event he was absolutely hungover and practically comatose this morning.

I left him in pyjamas with DD for 1 hour then came home bringing coffee and breakfast for him. He was still in an awful way so I suggested he get showered while I play with DD in the garden, give her lunch and put her down for lunchtime nap.

The whole morning he was short tempered with me, grumbling he didn't get a lie in and why had I booked an appointment at such a stupid time etc.

During DD's nap husband went to lie on the bed but didn't resurface. I started preparing a roast which we already agreed to do and bought everything for. An hour after DD had woken up husband was still up on the bed so I took him a coffee and toast and suggested he take DD out to the swings while I finished the roast. He eventually came down after 30 minutes saying he couldn't take her outside as he felt he might collapse!

I suggested he let her wheel her trike up the street and he could be near the house in case of collapse! This lasted 5 minutes before they came home again, DH saying it was too exhausting as DD just wanted to run away.

Eventually I packed them off again to the village and they bought an ice cream.

I made and served the roast, then did all the washing up, laundry, then took DD out for a runaround. DH is now lying on the sofa yet again while I tidy DD's room ready for bed.

I'm I a mug here?

OP posts:
LapinR0se · 16/04/2023 19:07

If this is a rare occurrence then I’d be ok with it. Happens to everyone sometimes!

Original poster
TimeforaHol · 16/04/2023 19:11

Forgot to say, in the hour I was out this morning he lay on the sofa not supervising DD properly so she broke a lamp, tipped a bottle of water on the floor and smeared yoghurt on the sofa- none of which was cleaned up.

OP posts:
OldTinHat · 16/04/2023 19:13

And I decided to become a single parent because...!

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GoodChat · 16/04/2023 19:15

You've been a bit savage with forcing him out today but I respect it Grin

Annasgirl · 16/04/2023 19:17

You really are a bit of a martyr. Why did you have to ‘do a roast’ for 2 adults, one of whom is severely hungover, on a hot day? Toasted sandwiches would have been fine. He could have done his own. I usually support the Op on here but I think you are being very unreasonable.

Felicity42 · 16/04/2023 19:17

Well it depends. I'd have not bothered doing a big roast for a hungover person and gotten a takeaway instead.
If this is a once off then I'd be annoyed but not killed him over it.

mumtohatty · 16/04/2023 19:18

If this is once or twice a year honestly I'd be fine with it and maybe even spoil him a little in the hope that I'd get the same treatment when it's my turn to be hungover! If it's every week then we'd have a problem.

GoodChat · 16/04/2023 19:19

Annasgirl · 16/04/2023 19:17

You really are a bit of a martyr. Why did you have to ‘do a roast’ for 2 adults, one of whom is severely hungover, on a hot day? Toasted sandwiches would have been fine. He could have done his own. I usually support the Op on here but I think you are being very unreasonable.

Where are you to suggest todays a hot day?

ChiChaNaYubi · 16/04/2023 19:20

Sounds a bit mean tbh. Why can’t he just be left to be hungover?

Theunamedcat · 16/04/2023 19:22

ChiChaNaYubi · 16/04/2023 19:20

Sounds a bit mean tbh. Why can’t he just be left to be hungover?

She had an appointment at nine am he knew this and needed to be an adult

brooksidebackside · 16/04/2023 19:22

I don't really get it tbh. It's a one off and didn't affect your appointment. Yet you spent so much effort trying to make him get up and do things. You took him coffee and food and suggestions that he do things. As an isolated hangover could you not have just left him to get on without?

Are you always making suggestions?

Dontfuckingsaycheese · 16/04/2023 19:23

Every week? Then you need WORDS. A one-off accept he’s feeling like shite and write him off for the day. What’s he like the rest of your life together?

brooksidebackside · 16/04/2023 19:23

TimeforaHol · 16/04/2023 19:11

Forgot to say, in the hour I was out this morning he lay on the sofa not supervising DD properly so she broke a lamp, tipped a bottle of water on the floor and smeared yoghurt on the sofa- none of which was cleaned up.

Ok I didn't see this. He is lucky nothing serious happened but tbh after that the very last thing I would be suggesting to him is that he took her out.

BCBird · 16/04/2023 19:24

I wondered about the weather. Brass monkey weather where I am.

doitwithlove · 16/04/2023 19:24

You are being very accepting and kind to him in my opinion. It was his choice to stay at the event and roll home extremely drunk this morning.

I would not be as accepting as you in the circumstances.

GiltEdges · 16/04/2023 19:27

Agree with a PP that you sound a bit of a martyr. Even those of us who are parents are entitled to some downtime and to be hungover from time to time. Why did you keep forcing him outdoors with DC, if that wasn't what he wanted to do? If DH tried to do that to me I'd have told him to do it himself, or leave me to do things my own way.

TomatoSandwiches · 16/04/2023 19:28

He is shit, he knew you had an appointment so it's his own fault.

Xjshdvf · 16/04/2023 19:29

How often does it happen? If it’s once in a blue moon I’d accept it and move on with an apology expected tomorrow. If this is regular then I’d be annoyed.

Whenisitsummer · 16/04/2023 19:30

I’d have just left him to recover from his hangover. It’s an unwritten rule in our house that hangover= a day binge watching on the sofa, eating rubbish and doing nothing else ( this works both ways obviously).

TheMatriarchy · 16/04/2023 19:35

The getting nasty over your 9am appointment is the bit that concerns me. He knew about it, he said he would be home early, and then he tried to gaslight you and act like you did something wrong. I would expect an apology for that. And tbh I wouldn't have come home till much later in the day.

LivingDeadGirlUK · 16/04/2023 19:38

He is unreasonable to grumble about your appointment when he knew full well about it and had said he would be able to cover.

Other than that, assuming this isn't a regular occurrence, I think you are being a bit harsh.

BatshitCrazyWoman · 16/04/2023 19:38

You were kinder than I would be OP. I have zero tolerance for hungover people. And he knew you had an appointment this morning.

SummerHouse · 16/04/2023 19:39

You have pretty much had a weekend as sole carer. Apart from an hour where he didn't really step up and shit happened. To avoid feeling bitter, I would ask myself what I wanted to do and do it next weekend. I would also think about the long game and maybe sign up for a marathon or something. I am all for a parent cutting loose in whatever way that floats their boat but it has to work both ways.

Original poster
TimeforaHol · 16/04/2023 20:20

GiltEdges · 16/04/2023 19:27

Agree with a PP that you sound a bit of a martyr. Even those of us who are parents are entitled to some downtime and to be hungover from time to time. Why did you keep forcing him outdoors with DC, if that wasn't what he wanted to do? If DH tried to do that to me I'd have told him to do it himself, or leave me to do things my own way.

My reasons were mainly because DD is v energetic and needed to get outside today. I had her all yesterday to facilitate his day / party, and today he was due to take her to the park this afternoon whilst I cooked. Instead by choosing to lie down ignoring her she was either coming to play with me in the kitchen round the oven or causing havoc so I kept needing to supervise her. This afternoon it was his turn to do some parenting frankly.

OP posts:
Southoftheriver32 · 29/07/2023 05:03

Dear God. It never ceases to amaze me the complete dickheads some women are married to.

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