Will try and keep this short. Like an episode of Jeremy Kyle for sure.
basically I’ve never known my bio dad despite him living in the wider local area. Despite this since a youngish sort of age I’ve known my half sisters from him.
basically he was in a relationship with their mum, had a baby and then they split, he met and was engaged to my mum, pregnant with me and then he slept with his ex and got her pregnant. Long story short neither woman stayed with him, but he had 2 babies due in a short amount of time. My mum was heartbroken, their mum wasn’t, she apparently just had sex with him desperate for another baby. After a while my mum and their mum decided they both hated him and became friends but didn’t tell us we were half siblings until later primary age, I was friends with them before we knew. One is just 2 months younger than me. His ex didn’t want him, she wanted a baby. He supposedly still wanted to marry my mum.
he also has an older child with someone else and kids with his now wife. I don’t know these at all.
this is where it gets confusing. The half sisters I know had a relationship with him, I didn’t. I went school with these kids and finding out they were my half siblings was hard, I cannot blame them for it obviously but they were not nice about the whole thing, saying mean things etc. He used to pick them up from school and they’d tell me this and I’d spend all day worrying. I wish my mother moved me to another school tbh.
my mother brought me up to think that he didn’t want to know. I’ve felt unworthy all my life thinking that he didn’t want me. That I wasn’t worthy. My half sisters told me his wife didn’t even know about me and neither did his younger kids. I’ve always felt like a dirty little secret.
but in recent times it’s come to light now incredibly hard my mums family make it for him to see me.
I cannot blame them entirely. A good dad would surely do anything to see their child whatever it takes but this was over 30 Yeats ago.
I think it was my mums family more than her. She was a teenager and they’d forbid him from seeing her and me even though apparently he wanted to, his dad so my bio grandfather also wanted to see me but they wouldn’t let him, my thug of a uncle threatened to hurt them if they come anywhere near the house etc. they basically forbid it and my mum used to secretly meet him when I was small then it died out and my mum stopped all contact when he met his now wife. So there was some contact in the very early years but nothing I can remember.
I don’t know what the point of posting this is. I’m friends with my half siblings on social media, bio dad is on there too.
I have so many unresolved feelings around this. I cannot talk to my mum about it, she makes it all bout her!
I am just so confused.
I emailed him a few years ago when I had a bad fall out with my mum asking why he never bothered. He never answered my question and said he might meet me one day but at that moment his daughter was going through a tough time and didn’t want to upset her telling her about me. I never even said I wanted to meet him.