hi OP,
I was very shy at school and at beginning of university years. One of the most helpful things a teacher ever said to me was 'shyness is such vanity - why do you think everyone is looking at you and thinking about you all the time? They aren't, they are more concerned about what they themselves are doing and are they going to trip over when they enter a room'. Once you stop focussing on yourself completely and look around, you realise this is so true, and that a lot of loudly confident people are actually faking it.
I chose drama as GSCE subject at school and my friends were stunned, so far out of my comfort zone was I, but it really helped. So you could try to practice putting yourself out of your comfort zone - it does help. It's quite a scary feeling at first, but the more you do it the easier it becomes. Just try small steps at first then build up - eg saying something short to a stranger, even if it's just 'good morning', then engage with the world at large, postman, shopkeepers, waiters. Try to be warm and engaging, give genuine compliments, even flirt a little with people - I learnt this from three lovely friends, who all draw people to them like a magnet - they basically have an air of slightly flirting with everyone, not just the opposite sex. You feel good in their company. I think the key is to focus on the person / people you are talking to, not yourself.
If you can also see the humour in situations, and laugh at yourself a little this will also help. I have said some idiotic things sometimes that made me want the ground to open up and swallow me, but in the big scheme of things, it doesn't matter - it will be forgotten. Especially when you start to notice confident people often say incredibly dumb things. It doesn't matter, everyone does it.
When I started work, I had to do presentations in front of large groups, and socialise with large groups of professionals in the evenings. I learnt how to mingle. If you are nervous, arm yourself with some conversation starters for different situations.
Absolutely terrifying at first, but I started to realise a) I was OK by myself and b) I could relax by focussing on the other person I was talking to and asking them about things they found interesting, and that c) doing b) makes you interesting to other people and will serve you in any place, with any person.
Also learning about breathing techniques helped to retain an appearance of calm. Don't underestimate the power of several deep breaths to calm your nerves and allowing you to speak in an unharried and unhurried way.
Still later I learned about introvert vs extrovert and realised you can have a quiet confidence in yourself and that will draw others to you. I can now talk comfortably and confidently to anyone I meet from different social group / age / culture, but can also recognise when someone else is uncomfortable socially and will do my best to include them.
You may like the poem Desiderata, I think it speaks well to introverts. 'You are a child of the Universe, no less than the trees and stars: you have a right to be here'. https://www.desiderata.com/desiderata.html
Quiet people have a lot to offer. I think if you can learn this your confidence will blossom, and it will be a lovely kind of confidence that shines upon others around you.
You may also like this.