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Original poster

Dreading dd going on school trip, help me!

38 replies

Chocchip11 · 16/04/2023 09:40

Dd 16 is going abroad on a school trip next week and I'm dreading it. She was bullied, well more left out and ignored by everyone for most of her school life she has aspergers. Because of this she hadn't been on any trips except day trips which have ended in disaster and disappointment at being ignored. There is a trip to Barcelona and she really wanted to go, I'm happy she wants to but so worried that she'll be sad and ignored. I haven't told her this obviously I said it's her decision. It's for 5 nights and I'm thinking how will I manage my anxiety!!
She's not sure who she is sharing a room with will be 3 others, everyone sorted their rooms and put a request in to teacher. She said she isn't bothered who she ends up with so didn't request anyone!!
I don't know what I'm posting for really, my dh thinks she'll be fine and let her get on with it.

OP posts:

Original poster

Chocchip11 · 16/04/2023 10:05

@LBFseBrom I am hoping that will be the case. I think I probably need to let go a bit. I'm very protective of her because of how socially awkward she is and I try and help her with that but maybe now is the time to back off a bit.

Her Saturday job has definitely helped, she works with her aunt who says she's great with customers, which I was surprised at so maybe I need to let her grow a bit more.

OP posts:

BCBird · 16/04/2023 10:06

Sorry re typos. I going to have to start proof-reading

ACynicalDad · 16/04/2023 10:06

There are two ways to sort rooms, the easiest is to look at requests and make them fit, the other is to look at the more vulnerable children’s needs. I can see an overworked teacher doing the first by default, it might be worth sharing your concerns.

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Original poster

Chocchip11 · 16/04/2023 10:15

The head of the trip is aware of her issues because last year she pulled out of a 2 night trip because she felt unable to go, this led to a referral to the school counsellor who she really likes and is going on the trip. I'm hoping they would keep any extra look out for her for this reason. She gets on much better with adults than her peers so will probably hang out with them anyway!!

OP posts:

Brefugee · 16/04/2023 10:18

Counsellor is actually going on the trip so I'm hoping she will keep an eye on her, knowing her previous issues

i wouldn't leave it to chance, i would remind the counsellor about issues around bullying that have happened, and the other issues, and make a concrete request to keep a discreet eye on DD

AmyandPhilipfan · 16/04/2023 10:24

I have very happy memories of a school trip abroad in Year 8. I was only really friends with one other girl who was going and some of the others at school were quite bitchy (girls) and thought they were it (boys). But actually on the trip they were like totally different people and I got on with all of them and had a great week! Hopefully it will be like that for your daughter. And also, the teachers will be aware of who is likely to get on in rooms and I'm sure they will have thought hard who your daughter would get on with. When I was 16 I went on another trip abroad and although I had more friends going to this one there were a couple of girls who weren't very popular and they were put in a room with me and my friend as the teachers knew we would have no problems getting on.

Romeiswheretheheartis · 16/04/2023 10:49

OP, my dd sounds very like yours and interestingly is also great in 'customer service' type situations, while being very socially anxious otherwise. If I were you I would, without dd knowing, speak to the counsellor or trip leader asking them to keep an eye out for her. If she does struggle but doesn't want to say anything, they may then be more likely to notice and surreptitiously engineer situations to help her. I hope she does have a good time.

YukoandHiro · 16/04/2023 10:53

I've just remembered that when I was a teenager I went on a multi year trip abroad and a girl two years below was put in a room with me and my then best friend because we were considered kind and responsible. She was overweight and had previously been bullied. We were warm and friendly and I think she had a great time with us - I guess it helped that we were older so looked after her a little

Cherrysherbet · 16/04/2023 11:01

I have a grown up son with Asperger’s.

I think you should talk to the counsellor that is going.
Sounds like she may need some sun while she’s there.
I hope she has a lovely trip 🤞🏻

Eukanuba · 16/04/2023 11:23

YukoandHiro · 16/04/2023 10:53

That's so lovely . 😀

Original poster

Chocchip11 · 16/04/2023 11:36

I think I may email the teacher and just ask to discreetly keep an eye on her. Not sure what else to say really!

OP posts:

junebirthdaygirl · 16/04/2023 11:46

Do you have the itinerary for the trip. Could ye look up places she will be visiting so she has an idea of what's ahead and some general knowledge? Could you get her a journal so if alone she can write about what she has done that day and it might be a distraction for her. It might also help her before sleep if she was a bit homesick. Maybe a book to read.
Has she been on a flight before?

Original poster

Chocchip11 · 16/04/2023 12:09

@junebirthdaygirl she's not much of a writer or reader but that's a good idea so I think I'll suggests she downloads some podcasts that she could listen to if she found herself a but homesick

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