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Original poster

Weird feeling from interviewer - should I run ?

43 replies

sallysaysno · 14/04/2023 19:56

NC for this.

I had a interview today and I'm finding it a bit hard to process. Remote interview for a fairly high level job.

Call with head of x and my would be manager. The head of - was lovely really kind ect and my would be manager was literally sneery. Kept looking at me with what looked like disgusted- so much so I was worried I had something in my teeth. I checked all normal and I don't have any disfigurements (not that it should matter actually). Making fairly snidely comments and I haven't ever met this women before. She just vibrated with contempt

For background I'm youngish, blonde and work in tech. This women was 40+ and openly said that she didn't have many women on her team because she gets on with men better .. which I found odd. Fine is social circumstances but at work ? To say it outloud.

She asked me where my current work place was which is nearby town as this job and acted like she had never heard of it. I live about 30mins away and have worked at my current role a long time.

The role turned out to be more junior than I expected and the job I'm doing now is what would be boss is doing now. The job description was vastly different from what they detailed. More a supporting role to the manager which would be fine if she didn't seem to bloody hostile

They said next stages they like to see if there is chemistry in person before deciding.

I don't know I just got a complete weird vibe that I haven't ever gotten before. Has anyone just had the feeling someone hates you the moment they clap eyes on you ? That's what I got from this women.

Am I going mad ? Am I reading to much into this ? Should I give it the benefit of the doubt ? I genuinely kept thinking I had done something really wrong but the other lady seemed to be really impressed with my experience while my to be manager just sneered.

Happy to be told I'm being a sensitive sally

OP posts:
Mycathatesmecuddling · 14/04/2023 19:57

Don't do it, every time ive ignored my gut ive ended up in a job ive hated

MissHavershamReturns · 14/04/2023 19:58

I think these are red flags op. Don’t do it!

WetBandits · 14/04/2023 19:59

Don’t take it, and do give feedback as to why!

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Jobs
Original poster
sallysaysno · 14/04/2023 20:00

Mycathatesmecuddling · 14/04/2023 19:57

Don't do it, every time ive ignored my gut ive ended up in a job ive hated

What red flags did you spot ? Sometimes I miss things so all I can say is a got a weird vibe. She could have been having a bad day and I'm reading to much into it.

My partner says I am but I have never really encountered this before xx

OP posts:
Bunda · 14/04/2023 20:02

Did you go through a recruiter? If so I'd mention it.

If not and you decide not to go ahead with next interview (which would be understandable) I would give sincere feedback about why, albeit as professionally as possible.

Good luck OP!

GoodChat · 14/04/2023 20:03

You've got to work closely with someone who put you off at a time they're supposed to be on their best behaviour. Imagine her when she's stressed or overloaded?

Boomboom22 · 14/04/2023 20:10

She feels threatened by you as you do her role now. Don't take the job!

Original poster
sallysaysno · 14/04/2023 20:13

Bunda · 14/04/2023 20:02

Did you go through a recruiter? If so I'd mention it.

If not and you decide not to go ahead with next interview (which would be understandable) I would give sincere feedback about why, albeit as professionally as possible.

Good luck OP!

No direct. I have heard turn over is high in this particular area .. thought it might be due to workload but I have a feeling it's to do with this women.

OP posts:
samestyle · 14/04/2023 20:17

I wouldn't take it if offered, it's not just about getting the job but what is right for you too.

Original poster
sallysaysno · 14/04/2023 20:19

Boomboom22 · 14/04/2023 20:10

She feels threatened by you as you do her role now. Don't take the job!

I don't actually understand why they have interviewed me.

This really from their description would be better for a person with limited experience opposed to years worth.

OP posts:
user1471453601 · 14/04/2023 20:19

I'd hold your horses for the time being.

I interviewed for a job many years ago. One interviewer was lovely, one was a total twat. Positioned his seat so it was sideways to me, hardly made eye contact and was very abrupt.

Afterwards I told another colleague I wouldn't take the job, even if it was offered. It was offered, I took it. The "twat" was actually really lovely, but quite shy.

Another time I managed a team that had to interact with another team. The other team leader was generally thought to be a twat, by my team.

I knew this person of old and told them she was actually very nice and super supportive of her team.

A couple of years later, after we had all moved on to other projects, I met a member of that team, and asked him where he was working now. He was working for the woman he had previously despised, and admitted I'd been right. She was a lovely kind and supportive woman, with a bit of a hard exterior.

So I'd wait until you got I the next interview level, then ask around your industry, reliable sources only, and get feedback on them.

Stopsnowing · 14/04/2023 20:20

apart from the weird vibe it sounds like this role is too junior for you

Mendholeai · 14/04/2023 20:24

Actually I would find the job description being misleading a worry….

Piffpaffpoff · 14/04/2023 20:28

Run! I had this exact situation at an interview, was offered and took the job and it was the biggest mistake in my career. She destroyed everyone who worked for her, one way or another.

AlltheFs · 14/04/2023 20:30

She wants someone else and is going through the motions. Absolutely don’t take it any further.

Mycathatesmecuddling · 14/04/2023 20:33

sallysaysno · 14/04/2023 20:00

What red flags did you spot ? Sometimes I miss things so all I can say is a got a weird vibe. She could have been having a bad day and I'm reading to much into it.

My partner says I am but I have never really encountered this before xx

Show quote history

Red flags:

Misleading job description
The job is more junior than advertised
She openly admitted to discriminating against women
She was off with you - interviewing is like going on a first date, both parties are supposed to be on the best behaviour. She is supposed to be selling the job and the company as much as you are selling your skills. You should be seeing her at her best and most welcoming. If this is it imagine what her worst is

Plus it sounds like this job is a bad move for you career wise anyway

Lovecat · 14/04/2023 20:39

I'd be wary because of the job being so different from your expectations.

My last interview was with 3 people, only one of whom was in any way friendly at all - one was very neutral and the other one just glared at me throughout and appeared to despise me.

I took the job when offered and 6 years later glary woman is one of my best work friends, she's just cripplingly shy and hates having to do interviews.

However, she never actively said anything nasty (just appeared at the time to pull faces at my responses as if I'd crapped in her coffee!). So if this woman was actually saying nasty things in the interview, I'd steer clear. Highly unprofessional and doesn't bode well for any working relationship.

Also it sounds like you'd soon be bored if you're currently doing the equivalent of her job.

Original poster
sallysaysno · 14/04/2023 20:57

I think your all right. I think the job being so far away from the job description and it being more junior than expected makes this not the one for me.

I totally get crippling shyness so maybe it was that.

But either way probably the universe telling me something and for once I think I'm going to listen !

OP posts:
Windingdown · 14/04/2023 21:34

I had an interview where the guy who would be my boss made me feel uneasy and as though I was disappointing him with every answer and not making the grade. When I left I phoned the agency and said that the interviewer obviously didn't like me and it had gone badly.

They later phoned and said I'd got the job...I was so shocked I laughed and swore.

Took the job and the boss made me feel uneasy and as though I was disappointing him every single day of 18 months until I resigned.

Don't ignore your gut.

Parisj · 14/04/2023 21:37

Tell them the chemistry isn't working for you!

Omm · 14/04/2023 21:40

Run!!

Mimosa08 · 14/04/2023 21:52

Had this in an interview once

Turns out the nasty persons granddaughter got the role!!!

ByeByeMr · 14/04/2023 21:55

It's your instinct talking. Listen to it.

FinallyHere · 14/04/2023 21:57

The role turned out to be more junior than I expected and the job I'm doing now is what would be boss is doing now. The job description was vastly different from what they detailed. More a supporting role to the manager which would be fine if she didn't seem to bloody hostile

Why are you even considering a role which is 'smaller' than your existing role?

have heard turn over is high in this particular area

Why would you consider taking a role in an area known to have high turn over? What make you feel sure that it would be different for you ?

QueenSmartypants · 14/04/2023 21:58

Don't touch it with a bargepole