Where to start- failing

[BigFatFailure1]

I'm struggling massively at the moment. Work is so stressful, there are not enough hours in a day and things are inevitably starting to slip and I end up in even more stressful positions.

I feel like a fraud, I'm in a good job with a decent salary but clearly I'm not coping and feel like I might get found out any minute.

DD (6) is suddenly becoming quite challenging (not listening, pushing boundaries, constantly annoying her brother) and I know I'm not dealing with it as well as I should because my patience is so low after work. Feeling like a failure as a mum now too as I used to have such a lovely happy child.

I also have wanted to lose weight for months and it's not happening. I feel fat and disgusting. I have an event in July, another dress got delivered today for it and it doesn't suit me. Nothing does, I just need to lose weight. But since Monday I've not even been able to leave the house for a 5 minute walk.

I usually go for walks (WFH) but work has been too busy. I also usually go for evening runs with a club but again so much has happened lately it's not been possible (work & personal).

I've not had time for a proper food shop either so eat crap, and snack all day because I'm stressed.

How do I break this cycle of failing?

You sound similar to me. But I wouldn’t call it a cycle of failing. I’d say your question is more about how you can accomplish everything you’re trying to do and it’s really hard, because it’s too much for one person to do. In these situations, I try to cut myself some slack and work out what my priorities are and what can wait. It’s amazing how many things resolve themselves when you step back.

Thank you @2Hot2Handle yes I was going to work all evening but honestly maybe I will just log off and see what's a priority in the morning with a fresh mind and hope the rest resolves itself to some extent.

I don't know if it's actually just my perception, and things are actually going OK. I've been stressed for so long my mental state is probably a bit off. I'll make a small mistake in an email and think everyone is judging me and I'm going to get fired. It's exhausting.

I've just never found life so hard for some reason! This 2-week long half term is really not helping as I've had to take time off to be with the children and the work has piled up.

I just want to crawl into a hole and disappear.

Yep! You sound exactly like me. I find the more I sacrifice my time and personal needs, the worse it gets. Then I start doubting my abilities and I’m too tired to spend time on the things I really do think matter (like spending time with my DC). I saw a Facebook video recently that pointed out that there is a reason the air stewards tell us to fit our own mask before we help others. It’s hard to help others, when we’re desperately in need of help ourselves. You’ll probably find you’re working slower and being less effective by not taking breaks and getting away from your desk for some exercise.

Thank you @2Hot2Handle you inspired me to go running yesterday and it helped massively. I think I physically fill up with adrenaline or cortisol or something and I need to regularly release it.

Today's stress has taken its toll again but self care it high on the agenda this weekend. I really can't carry on going like this much longer!

Somehow missed this! I’m glad you felt inspired and I hope you managed to get some self care in last weekend! Fit your mask first! X