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Original poster

Anyone struggle with mental health when WFH?

25 replies

Randomuser9876 · 12/04/2023 17:58

I have a Project Manager type role in the public sector. I work 4 days a week and generally team alternate between wfh days and office days so its 50/50 However the office days get regularly dropped for the team ie school holidays or rail strikes so it's more like 70/30 . This in no way impacts delivery as everyone I work with very good and "on it" and we communicate regularly on Teams.

In theory this is the perfect set up. I have primary age kids and elderly parents and the ability to sort shit out at home and not pay for after school club eveyday day is fab. I'm also able to put a load of washing on or pop to Aldi on my lunch break. There's no commute costs or time wasted.

The thing is I really struggle mentally if I've been at home for a few days in a row. I feel so tired and flat and struggle to focus. I love sitting on the train and listening to a podcast, I love seeing what people are wearing in the office or saying hi to the new guy. I find work so much easier when I can pop to someone's desk rather than Teams them.

I also feel crap when wfh as feel I have to do all the domestic stuff in my working day as I'm at home. So I feel edgy if the house is a mess and guilty if its not a dinner cooked from scratch. DH couldn't give shit and does his fair share so this isn't coming from him!

Does anyone else feel like this? Any tips to overcome it? I just feel so lonely some days.

OP posts:

Cherry321 · 12/04/2023 18:01

Yes I totally agree with you. I enjoy the perks (as you described) and not having to waste time commuting - but I miss proper interaction with people. Plus a bit of spontaneity and banter.

Flyinggeesei234 · 12/04/2023 18:02

OP is it a possibility to go and work from a hotel or cafe occasionally? Or enemy every day for an hour or so?

Or rent a shared office space?

TheyIndeed · 12/04/2023 18:03

Can't you just go in?

Flyinggeesei234 · 12/04/2023 18:04

Sorry should say ‘even every day…’.

I WFH but don’t feel like you describe, but I do sometimes go out just to switch it up a bit and actually leave the house.

MsWhitworth · 12/04/2023 18:07

Absolutely. It makes me feel like I never leave the house or speak to anyone.

Avatartar · 12/04/2023 18:08

I get this and sometimes just drop the kids at school, drive to a coffee stop on motorway, sit and watch everyone while I have my drink and drive back to my desk- I don’t speak to anyone but sense the pace of urgency etc associated with being busy at work which has a knock on effect. I also teams video colleagues for a quick chat around a work issue. Some days it’s easy to focus and others it’s not and I don’t know why

Original poster

Randomuser9876 · 12/04/2023 18:10

Yep could work from a cafe, I'm a member of a sports club and lots of people work from there so that's a good call. Renting an office space a bit ££ which we don't have at the mo.

I do sometimes go in even if my team aren't but I really don't know anyone else and as most staff wfh I'd end up Teamsing them anyway. Plus would have to put kids in breakfast club.

Gah, I need the benefits but hate the reality!

OP posts:

wineandsun · 12/04/2023 18:12

Going through these feelings atm. I work from home permanently in a role started about 6 months ago. Job move to be closer to family. Husband works away Monday to Friday and I just feel so alone. I go the gym but no time to really talk. Have a DD4 so busy of an evening but just feel so flat.

Original poster

Randomuser9876 · 12/04/2023 18:15

Really similar wineandsun... must be even harder with DH away all week

OP posts:

Christmascracker0 · 12/04/2023 18:16

Yes hugely. I live on my own in a new city and it’s shit. Most of my team work remotely and the wider team don’t go into the office often. I’ve gone weeks without having actual face to face conversation before. I hate wfh 😢

PollyPeptide · 12/04/2023 18:16

I had a nervous breakdown from working from home back in the 1990s. I found not having a physical separation between my home life and work life meant the two started to intermingle and I wasn't strict enough to demarcate a boundary and stick to it. Eventually the stress of never escaping work became too much. And because I was isolated from work colleagues at home, I had no way to get ongoing support or keep things in proportion.
It was 30 years ago and I still suffer from issues from that breakdown today.

MikeWozniaksMohawk · 12/04/2023 18:19

I’m with you OP. In reality I should love WFH because I have young kids, but I feel so much more engaged with my work when I go into the office. I hate school holidays when I’m more tied to home because holiday clubs are school hours only.

wineandsun · 12/04/2023 18:20

Although not sure I could cope with DH at home all the time 😅 We are suppose to go into the office once a month and that's an hour train away. I'm the same, love getting the train, getting a coffee, seeing real people!

Original poster

Randomuser9876 · 12/04/2023 18:20

Urgh, sorry to hear that pollypeptide, I can see how that would happen.

My colleagues are lovely but so hard to place boundaries with work and domestic stuff. My DH doesn't struggle with this funnily enough!

OP posts:

emmathedilemma · 12/04/2023 18:26

Yep, I hate working from home, some days I feel like I get nothing done because it’s actually too quiet to concentrate or I can’t focus on work because there’s stuff around the house that needs doing. I find it better if I do some chores and then go for a short walk before I start work and then that feels like my commute time and switch off from the stuff in the house.

cheeseisthebest · 12/04/2023 18:27

Yes I totally get this, I could go in the office but have a dog so need to stay home with him!

BigGreen · 12/04/2023 18:34

Yes me too, in theory it's great for me but I get exactly the same - lonely, flat and demotivated. I find getting a daily walk in is vital but I'd love to be in an office. I'm like you in that the team us remote so going into the office would be to sit there alone also!

Daisy778 · 12/04/2023 18:36

I agree. I WFH 95% of the time and have been for the last 18mths. I thought it would be the solution to a lot of issues ( it has been in that I had a considerable pay rise and was able to relocate out of area without restrictions) however, now we are here in our new home/area I feel like you described 'flat' unfulfilled, missing social interaction. I've tried to fill his with gym classes, local walks, getting involved in the community but it hasn't filled the gap. The fact we spend the majority or our day in isolation ( and in my case working in a trauma based role) is weighing me down. I've actually been on indeed today looking to retrain. I've become accustomed to a certain lifestyle and have struggled recently considering giving that up but the impact of my current set up is starting to overshadow this.... I've just brought chickens for goodness sake for company! Already have two pups. I sympathise with you OP and am definitely going through a transition. I'm at the start of working out of these golden handcuffs

LlynTegid · 12/04/2023 18:37

I don't, but had to be very disciplined, including leaving the house, or else I think I would have had similar feelings to the OP. It perhaps helps me that those I work with are colleagues (and good ones) but not friends, not people I spend time with in person or on calls other than at work.

ThisGirlCantAlways · 12/04/2023 18:37

I’ve been WFH for 3 years now, I really struggle. Dh works long hours 6 days a week and 3 dc live away.

DM is about 1hr away, I work there one afternoon a week and travel in my lunch hour.

2 days I go swimming in my lunch hour, then work later in the evening to make up time. 1 day I try to meet different friends for lunch.

I volunteer 2 evenings week with a local youth group.

I’ve had to make a real big effort otherwise I can go all week without seeing anyone other than dh and it really really effects my mental health.

All of the above doesn’t make up for office friendships, lunches, etc. but it’s the best I can do 🙂

Naimee87 · 12/04/2023 18:52

Oh wow. I never thought WFH would cause such issues. I despise the office. Is it just the social interaction you miss? I honestly prefer wfh, for all the same reasons you mentioned like getting on top of housework, shopping, being around for DS, i get to walk out in the countryside with the dog or run at lunch. I’d take that set up any day over forced coffee ‘networking’ chats or dreaded group canteen lunches. I guess for introverts wfh is perfect, maybe not so much for extroverts.

Original poster

Randomuser9876 · 12/04/2023 18:56

Yeah, I'm a massive extrovert so really not good.

Think I need to be more structured in what I do like working from a cafe, going for a walk, having a friend over for coffee etc

OP posts:

Glo1988 · 12/04/2023 18:56

We have both worked from home since Covid and both struggle. Hubby had the option to go in a day or so a week so making a concerted effort to do that. And I’m renting a hot desk for very minimal cost (£15 a day) to get out a couple of days a week. You don’t need to commit to renting proper office space to get the office environment - have a look round! I totally get it makes a big difference getting up and out and shrugging off the domestic burden for a while

Idratherbepaddleboarding · 12/04/2023 18:56

Yes, WFH full time during Covid left me on antidepressants which I’m still on now. I ended up changing careers as I couldn’t shake the bad feeling towards my old job and can now WFH 2 days a week in my new job but rarely do.

Christmascracker0 · 12/04/2023 19:01

Naimee87 · 12/04/2023 18:52

I’m an introvert and struggle with wfh because I have such a small social circle and find it difficult to make friends. I didn’t realise how much I relied on the daily office chat until it wasn’t there! Everyone is different though.

I don’t like wfh for a lot of reasons though, the loneliness is just a small part!

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