Does anyone have a dog? Question about leaving dogs alone

[Watchingthesunset]

We would very much like to get a family dog. We have given it a lot of thought and the only obstacle seems to be that dh and I both work outside the home.

Dh works full time and I work part time 3 days a week. So the dog would have to be left at home from 8-3.30 3 times a week which is when ds gets home from school. There would be someone home by 3.30 for the foreseeable as we've a teenager and a pre teen.

We could potentially set the dog up in the conservatory with a bed and some toys and a dog flap to go in and out the garden throughout the day.

Everything I'm reading online says dogs shouldn't be left alone but I'm thinking in reality there must be lots of people who work and have a dog.

The other thing to consider is a young dogs ability to chew everything in sight when left alone. I’m sure not all do, but ours is a little monster for chewing and we don’t leave him alone for more than a couple of hours once or twice a week. I don’t think I’d have any shoes left if I left him alone for 7 hours!

You would need a few weeks of for training it to be left alone. But tbh it's far to long to be alone all day for a dog.

It's too long to leave a dog and especially a puppy. Puppies will try and chew anything and everything and I could never have trusted our dog as a puppy to have unrestricted access to outside where she liked to try and eat twigs, leaves, stones, snails....

On Mumsnet, dogs can't possibly be left alone. In the real world, many dogs are left from the time you've stated and they're perfectly fine. Our dog is left 8 - 4 Mon-Fri. They either sleep, watch TV or look out of the window.

It all depends on the dog really 😊

No no no & no again. Sorry but no dog should be left alone for more than a couple of hours max & not daily. Have you considered a cat?

100% great advice

Just because some people leave their dogs for many hours doesn’t mean the dogs are happy and having the life they deserve. Dogs are very social creatures with brains and need both physical and mental stimulation. I think it would be really unfair to leave a dog for so long and it would need a dog walker to call and break up the day when you are working.

@Frenchfancy It's not just me then 🤣 My dog is left 8 - 4 Mon - Fri and to be honest, if we're off Mon - Fri, the dog sees it as an inconvenience as he's not allowed on the sofa 🙈

To answer a few questions and pick up on a few points.

Completely open to breed/age of dog. We would just like a family dog to love and to walk as most of our free time is spent walking.

We do not want a cat or a fish would rather not bother.

It wouldn't be reliant on the teenager because I am home shortly afterwards. But the teen is the first one through the door. Also without going into all the details it's very unlikely that the teen is suddenly going to start going out every day after school or getting detentions. But if that changed I'd be home so teen wouldn't be forced to look after the dog.

The conservatory isn't hot it's shaded and this was only so that the dog could go outside.

There's no side or rear access to the garden and no neighbours to disturb.

But yes it could be lonely for the dog which would be a major problem that I'm not dismissing.

As for day care and dog walkers I'd have to look into it it's certainly a possibility.

We rarely leave our 2 dogs alone, DH and 2 DD's work shifts and I'm only based in the office 2 days a week. Occasionally they are left for a couple of hours, the longest we would ever leave them is 4 hours.

In your situation, I think you need to consider the following.

1. If you let the dog into the garden when you are not there, the dog could bark a lot and annoy the neighbours. Also in the summer the dog should not be in the heat, a dog doesn't know it should lay in the sun on a hot day.
2. Can you afford a dog walker or doggy day care, you need to bear in mind that not all dogs get on with other dogs well enough to go to daycare.
3. An older dog might be better for you, if you go to a rescue with a good plan for the days you are out of the house then they should be able to match you with a dog that can cope with being alone. This will probably mean you will need to be flexible around breed.

For people saying the dog will be left for 16 hours, I don't think the 8 hours at night are that relevant because the dog will be asleep. Content dogs sleep a lot, ours are both asleep before we go to bed and rarely wake before we do. Ours sleep on the sofa but you could consider having the dog in your room if it didn't settle downstairs on it's own at night.

Good point about the dog eating things it shouldn't 😟

The problem with dog flaps is that your dog might start barking outside. If dogs are left alone in the garden they sometimes get the idea that they have to guard it. And with nobody there to stop it it will already be quite ingrained by the time you get complaints and it will be very hard to retrain.
Also dogs like to be with their family and hate being alone. Definitely shouldnt be left longer than 4-5h if its on a regular basis. We have left our older dogs for up to 8h on special occasions, but they were 2 together and didnt mind so much and my mum goes over once in between to let them out and feed them.
Now we have a young dog (7months). We got her when she was 4months old and have been training staying home alone since the beginning. She can be left for up to 3h and she just sleeps in that time. But anything longer than that she starts roaming around looking for us and getting stressed.
They can learn it of course, but it takes a lot of training.

I bet that's what my neighbour thinks as well. Reality = bark, bark, barky, bark for hours.

OP, it’s not just the odd day here and there left alone because you have no option. You’re actually CHOOSING to leave a social animal alone all that time 3 days a week. I don’t agree with those who say “mine are fine” actually. Just being “fine”/surviving does not mean that the dog is happy and stimulated. Let’s face it there is a sliding scale of good dog care. Leaving a dog alone for many hours a day a few days a week isn’t near the top of the scale. Some owners are happy with that, i wouldn’t be, so for that reason we don’t have a dog.

I don’t know if you’ve REALLY thought about the implications, OP. having a dog will really limit your choice on things like days out and holidays. If you want to visit a relative’s house on Christmas Day and family birthdays etc you’d have to factor in going home early to let the dog out. You can’t assume that all your relatives would be fine with you takin the dog along to their house. Think about luggage in your car and taking the dog in it as well.

if you manage to have anniversary weekends away while the kids go to a relative or friend, have you thought about who is going to have the dog? Yes you could find a dog friendly hotel but it’s not really dog friendly to leave a dog alone in your room while you spend hours in the restaurant then bar, is it? Think beaches. Many don’t allow dogs. Coffee shops. Even public footpaths if you like walking - so many of them have stiles - it’s easy enough to lift a small dog over but try getting a large dog over a stile and it becomes more difficult. Mooching in little gift shops - someone has to stand outside with the dog. Pubs and cafes, you have to find a dog friendly one.

I mean, people work round these things. But it takes a lot of thought and takes away choice over how you spend your free time. You won’t even get a lie in anymore because the dog will need letting out early morning.

if you’re happy doing all that, restricting yourself, making compromises, can arrange doggy daycare for the days you’re at work then sure, do it.

@TheTurn0fTheScrew

Reality: our walls are paper thin. We're on good terms with both sets of neighbours who would tell us. Our dog is fine.

I work 3 days a week and am out of the house 9am - 3pm, but I have a dog walker to take her out in the middle of the day. I have teens that are at school around the corner, and could come home at lunchtime to let her out for a wee, but dogs need more than this, and I don't think it's fair on them (or the teens to HAVE to do this!). The MAX we have ever left her (in 8 years) is 4 hours. You certainly can't leave a puppy for any length of time - it would take you several months to build up to this too (depending on the breed).

The only exception to leaving a dog for longer, might be an ex racing greyhound - people I know who have them say that they sleep about 18 hours a day and only need a couple of short walks....but again, whether that is because it suits the person or the dog to say so, I'm not sure. I'm sure lots of MNers will say that they leave their dogs all day and it's fine - but I think that's because it suits them to think their dogs are fine, not because it's fair or good for the dog. You wouldn't leave a toddler alone all day...!

My dog is fine alone - he’s well trained and doesn’t cause any trouble at all.
But he is 10 now so likes his sleep .

A puppy is obviously a different kettle of fish - maybe get an older dog as this would be easier with your lifestyle/commitments .

Just because lots of people do something, doesn't mean it's acceptable.

Personally, I think it's incredibly selfish to get a dog knowing you're going to need to leave it home alone for 7+ hours a day. Dogs need training, company and socialisation - they're not going to get any of that being left by themselves.

Even an older dog would struggle with that length of time without someone coming in at lunchtime to take them for a walk and stretch their legs - a dog flap so they can pee in the garden is no substitute for the stimulation of a walk.

At least you’re asking rather than just getting a dog without any research.

Do not get a gun dog of any kind (Spaniels, Labs, Retrievers as they suffer with extreme separation anxiety & need mental stimulation & exercise at least half a day, I have them as working dogs and sometimes out for 10 hours daily. Also no collies or german shepherd’s as highly intelligent so wouldn’t cope without stimulation for so long.

I can’t comment on other breeds so I won’t but most dogs become destructive or disobedient if left for long periods so maybe a dog that is already used to that would be better. Don’t get a puppy unless home 24/7 for first few months

For a puppy absolutely not on.
Our dog is now very elderly, she has refused point blank to get out of bed pretty much all day. She had a wee at 9am, and has only just got up and come out for a walk with me, but I got halfway down the drive and she wanted to go back home😂 to be fair the weather has been horrible, cold, wet and very windy. She's now curled up tightly in her bed.
She spends more time sleeping now, so I would be okay with leaving her for six hours, but that would be my absolute maximum. I'd never have left her for more than three hours when she was younger though as she was very sociable and I don't think it would have been good for her.
I'll be wretched when she shuffles forth, but we won't get another dog once she's gone as it's such a huge tie. I think the breed of dog makes a big difference, our girl is 14 and lab, but she's always been a very lazy chilled out character.

I don't mean to come across rude but you are making an awful lot of assumptions about our lifestyle.

We haven't actually got a dog. We are carefully considering it, but we haven't got one.

We don't have weekends away or lots of holidays. The only relatives we visit are our parents who would be fine with a dog. We aren't outgoing people we don't travel and spend most of our free time walking.

Don't underestimate fish...I thought they'd be really boring, but mine greet me every morning!! Admittedly you can't really cuddle them or take them for walks, but I spend far too long watching them, they have a lot more personality than I ever imagined😂.

Haha I don't doubt it.

I grew up with a home full of pets but I am definitely a dog person.

Sadly being out of the house at work is a huge barrier.

Would your work place allow your dog to sit under your desk? We have an office dog, she recently had a notice round her neck, saying something along the lines of "my eyes maybe begging for food, but my tummy is too rotund, I'll be happy with a fuss, but no food!". I love it when she comes in!

The dog will trash the garden. My dog is never allowed in the garden unsupervised!