Did you ever have a relationship with someone who was not at all what they seemed, even after years together? I feel so bitter

[undeefull]

Just as the title really. I feel so bitter. I gave up a lot for my ex partner, completely supported him, cheered him on with his (prestigious) job, put so much love and effort into building a life together and when I had a baby he totally knocked me for six with how utterly terrible he was to me. He must always have had it in him but he planned this life with me and I treasured what we shared…yet when life moved on with our baby he apparently wanted, he was monstrous. Aggressive, unkind, critical. Even today, years later, he’s never apologised for his behaviour.

I hate to say I feel bitter as I know it only affects me and not him but honestly that’s how I feel. It’s been a few years now and I still have moments now and then where I feel that sick/shock feeling that I could trust in someone so deeply and they could change in front of me when I needed them most. Just wanting to vent I suppose!

Yep. Met a lovely Christian man (I was Christian too). Said all the right things and did all the right things. I admired him and we were very aligned in what our future would look like.

Turns out he was a twat who made himself look good and actually lied and cheated and wasn’t the remotest bit Christian.

I still look back fondly at the man at the altar and wonder how the fuck he became the monstrosity I divorced 10 years later.

Yep, me too. After a long time on my own I fell hard for someone who seemed just right, but then when DC came along he couldn’t bear not being No 1 and turned abusive towards them and me. To gradually realise who he was, after 20 years together, was a huge and horrible shock…but in hindsight it was all there I just couldn’t see it.

I’m now divorced and making a new life for me and the kids, with as little contact with him as possible.