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What could I buy for someone about to start radiotherapy?

41 replies

RedPandaFluff · 12/04/2023 16:39

Hi everyone - DH is about to start six weeks of radiotherapy for head and neck cancer (started off in salivary glands but it's quite a big, invasive tumour now). I want to put a bit of a 'care package' together for him, and wondered what I could include. I've been on the various cancer charity websites and so far I have:

Fancy water bottle (he will need to drink lots)
Sugar free gum (recommended for dry mouth)
Fresh pineapple (not sure why but recommended!)
High-calorie drinks (expected weight loss)
Comfy PJs for when he is recovering/resting

For anyone who has been through radiotherapy, is there anything you found useful or helpful that I could include?

Thank you!

OP posts:
AnnaMagnani · 12/04/2023 16:47

He won't want the pineapple, it will burn his mouth!

For Head and neck cancer they should be monitoring his weight and diet as having problems swallowing is common by the end of treatment so any food supplements he needs should be prescribed.

The main bit of the care package will be you and your support.

Wowserme · 12/04/2023 16:49

Aqueous cream is a godsend.

Songlines · 12/04/2023 16:50

Something to soothe his skin, maybe E45?

iwantavuvezela · 12/04/2023 16:53

when my husband was undergoing radiotherapy his backpack he had with him for the hospital would have a book to read; headphones; charger pack; notebook/diary and pen to make a note of anything.
I used to have some snacks for his bag in case he was hungry and needed something to eat.
One thing that no-one ever really explained at the time was just how exhausted he would be - I mean beyond tired, so having a space to rest at home is very much needed.
I hope everything goes well for your Dh

FutureUncertain · 12/04/2023 16:53

DH is almost 2 weeks into radiotherapy for neck cancer. He’s struggling to swallow already and is losing too much weight. He has been prescribed drinks but can’t swallow them very well.
Stock up on ice cream/ice lollies, batch cook lots of soft meals while you can, have refreshing drinks in. A soft blanket to snuggle in, maybe an eye mask. DH is sleeping in the car to & from treatment and then collapsing in to bed as soon as we get back.

Don’t get creams for skin. He will be given a gel to prevent burns. DH was told nothing to be used on face, not even shaving gel. Just unscented soap.

AnnaMagnani · 12/04/2023 16:54

The hospital will prescribe cream if and when his skin gets sore - they are quite fussy about what gets used so only really like you using certain things.

CMOTDibbler · 12/04/2023 16:56

I'd take it as it comes tbh. RT is mostly very boring, lots of hanging around waiting (or conversely spending ages parking to just whip in have treatment for 5 minutes and be out again) and what is tasting good in week 1 isn't going to necessarily work in week 6 (or 8/10 as the side effects keep coming after treatment has stopped).
His skin and inside of his mouth/throat will probably get very sore, but the radiographers will do reviews with him and prescribe creams and high calorie drinks through the dieticians if needed.
Crosswords/sudoku/ magazines are a must though

Mayhemmumma · 12/04/2023 16:59

Slipper socks were handy for my mum although she was an in patient for her treatment. Maybe easy slider type shoes.

I can understand wanting to do a package - you feel you are doing and organising and showing you care. Good luck with it all.

Radiohorror · 12/04/2023 17:04

Has he not had a feeding tube put into his stomach? DH could eat nothing while having his radiotherapy for head & neck cancer, not even water. I would suggest soft clothes (his neck will get very sore), maybe some sweets to suck. A big book of sudoku or crosswords, headphones for the waiting room.
I think the pineapple is meant to stimulate the salivary glands into action but there is no way DH could have eaten it.
I hope his treatment goes well.

JuneOsborne · 12/04/2023 17:12

Magazines/books/puzzle books for the waiting room.

Really warm socks. It can be chilly in the treatment room.

Lots of different brands of water. People's taste really changes with head and neck RT and it's not uncommon for people to fixate on one sort of water. For my mum it was smart water. Someone else I know, it could only be highland spring.

Soft cellulose straws. Drinking through a straw can be a thing with RT in that area.

Really soft tooth brushes. And a really soft hair brush. A silk pillowcase, or brushed cotton. Soft stuff is a must.

My mum had really extensive RT to the head, neck and chest. She was fine for the first couple of weeks. Sore for the next 2 and then she was rough for the last two. She was really burnt. But, they pushed the RT to its limits, so this isn't the case for everyone, but I wish I'd have known it was a possibility. Recovery took a long time. Everything tasted weird, we went through a lot of wasted food trying to find the thing that worked.

Good luck, hoping he gets through it without anything to awful. And for you too-its a big thing going through this by proxy. You need support too. I hope you have some. Flowers

Michelle444 · 12/04/2023 17:21

I had radiotherapy in December 2021.

I used a lot of the Aveeno spray cream. It was recommended to me and with it being in a spray bottle easy to use and meant I wasn’t touching the affected area to moisturise. The bath and shower products were great too.
A nice drinking bottle, maybe something to read/ take to the hospital if waiting. As others have mentioned soft/ comfy clothes. I had to change into a gown every time I got there. Something easy to get on and off (if needed) but that also looks nice.

The main thing that helped me was others helping out around the house/ with shopping etc as I did get tired.

RedPandaFluff · 12/04/2023 17:25

This is all really helpful, thank you so much - I actually don't think we understand the reality of what is about to happen yet and I feel like reading these replies is preparing me a bit. And physically doing something - buying things that I think DH might need - helps too, as @Mayhemmumma said.

A feeding tube hasn't been mentioned or suggested, @Radiohorror - but it wouldn't surprise me if it was sprung on DH last minute. We've not had a great experience so far and have found out some fairly scary things by being copied into letters from the consultants to DH's doctors and dentist - for example, we found out in this way that the cancer had infiltrated intracranially. Also that the grading is T4b.

In terms of support, I want to do anything I can for him, it's just hard to know what. This thread is really helping, though, I'm so glad I posted.

OP posts:
Martinisarebetterdirty · 12/04/2023 17:26

I was told to mix a drop of Grace oil (Wealden health and beauty seem to stock the one I was given) with aloe Vera gel for my skin to put on after each session.
what I found worse was when it got cold for a couple of years after I could feel the pain where I’d had radiotherapy, the cold really hurt so maybe a lovely soft cashmere scarf for the winter.

Coffeesnob11 · 12/04/2023 17:32

Does he have plenty of subscriptions to Netflix, audible etc so he can just listen when he feels too ill? I hope the treatment goes well.

ipswichwitch · 12/04/2023 17:36

Radiotherapy is pretty exhausting as pp had mentioned. I’d make sure he has plenty of comfortable clothes that are easy to get on and off, and comfortable enough to nap in (joggers, hoodies, anything soft and comfy), maybe some sliders for when even putting shoes on is too much.

ipswichwitch · 12/04/2023 17:39

Also, check if the hospital
does transport to and from radiotherapy - one near me has a charity run organisation that does this purely for radiotherapy patients. It saves worry over getting there, finding parking, and they are quick to get you home.

CentrifugalBumblePuppy · 12/04/2023 17:44

Mum loved joggers & large t-shirts when she has her radiotherapy for breast cancer. Anything that was light & loose on her skin.

She was utterly exhausted, so lots of quick, nutritious meals (obviously soft & whatever his care team recommends). Mum put a TV in her bedroom so she could have a good loaf around, nap or knit & be comfortable.

And cream, I can’t recall which one was recommended but her McMillan nurse was fabulous with tips & tricks to help whilst you’re going through treatment.

JlL2013 · 12/04/2023 17:48

Not going to lie, it's shit. He'll need a folder for all the paperwork. I got given a list of appointments and ticking them off one by one.

Suspect he'll be okay for a couple of weeks, week three kicked my arse.

AliceS1994 · 12/04/2023 18:00

No to the pineapple!
No to any skin products/cosmetic!

Agree with activities for hospital, Audio subscriptions or magazine subscriptions sounds like an excellent idea!
Some nice new bedding for at home- something really nice like high thread count 100% cotton or washed linen. Something soft and breathable- especially if he has night sweats. Even at mattress topper or anything else you think might aid sleep!
A hospital grab bag can be helpful for when you need any quick ('quick') runs to A&E or the ward. He will be knackered to think, and mys husband also generally hates packing so is a lifesaver. Like packing a baby hospital bag- think new soft toothbrush- someone above mentioned soft stuff- a clean pack of pants, jogger, t shirt, jumper, a spare phone charger ready to go, that sort of stuff so there's no rush or being stuck in a bed without any phone battery!

KnickerlessParsons · 12/04/2023 18:01

Head and neck R/T is particularly brutal I think.
DH is still suffering from the after effects 5 months after his treatment finished.
Your DH will likely end up with a PEG tube for a while as he'll find it too difficult to use his mouth. He may manage high calorie drinks orally, but you'll get these either free or on prescription.
The actual R/T sessions only last a few minutes, so no need for books/music etc during these.

He's going to feel shit for a long time. All my DH really wanted was my company, and a hand to hold when he got really down.

Radiohorror · 12/04/2023 18:02

It really is completely exhausting. DH was also unable to talk for a couple of months. He had the maximum radiotherapy allowed so it was particularly brutal (hence my user name). He had about 8 weeks where he really was completely out of it, from about week 4 (of 6) of treatment until about 6 weeks afterwards.
It's tough but I'm keeping everything crossed that it will be successful. Are they aiming for it to be curative? Are you able to say which hospital he is being treated at?

AliceS1994 · 12/04/2023 18:02

Oh and honestly a night hoodie, some snoods etc. It's a bit sad but when he has the visible effects of treatment he might prefer to hide them he shouldn't have too obviously but it can be helpful if he wants to avoid telling his life story to the cashier in Tesco etc.

KnickerlessParsons · 12/04/2023 18:06

I've thought of something!

Cold weather and wind made DHs mouth even more sore so we bought one of those circular scarf things like people use for skiing that he could pull up over his mouth.
He loved it!

Annietheacrobat · 12/04/2023 18:13

Not everyone undergoing head and neck RT ends up needing a feeding tube.

Your DH's dept will have their preferred skin care - but essentially you won't go wrong with something like Epaderm, Aveeno or Cetraben.

Hope everything goes as smoothly as possible for your DH.

DESGUSTING · 12/04/2023 18:14

Pineapple was recommended to us from docs as it's meant to help with thirst, we bought it as juice rather than an actual pineapple.
Agree with ice lollies etc, we made pineapple ice cubes which he loved! and scarf for over mouth.

Tbh my dad slept a lot, so puzzles etc he had no energy for.
We made sure the bed/sofa whichever he preferred that day was comfortable with pillows for being propped up, blankets if wanted and put his fave films/programs on whilst he drifted in and out of sleep.

Hospital bag, have one prepared incase you need to urgently go.

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