Stubborn OH

user1485851222 · 2023-04-11T20:38:34+00:00

OH is great in so many ways, but 1 thing annoys me, he can't be convinced to do anything he doesn't want to do. He won't accompany me to functions, if he doesn't want to go, that could be weddings, parties, etc. I must say he wouldn't force me to go to anything, I didn't want to go to. But it does get abit frustrating either having to go alone, when others are mostly couples, or I just don't go. No amount of talking, pleading will get him to change his mind and accompany me. Just says I don't want to go, I'm not stopping you, they are your friend........ frustrating

Gingergirl70 · 11/04/2023 23:22

Is it just functions or are you saying you can't get him to do anything, anywhere at anytime with anyone, Including his own family and friends? Is this a recent thing or has he always been like this?
I think it's pretty OK to not want to go to social events, tbh, as long as he's not stopping you going. Would you rather have him there, either sulking or genuinely being very unhappy and uncomfortable, have him there trying his best to mask how he really feels, but secretly feeling miserable, knowing he can't wait for the event to be over and therefore you being uncomfortable and unable to fully enjoy yourself. Or would you rather you do your functions with friends, you get to relax, enjoy the company, knowing OH is doing what he wants - even if that's nothing at all?

Shoxfordian · 12/04/2023 06:16

It wouldn’t suit me to not have my husband want to attend social things with me so you have to decide if this is ok for you op; he sounds very stubborn. I think part of a relationship is sometimes doing stuff you don’t really want to do for your partner - did I want to go to see his friend I don’t like with him? No but I went; it was fine, I went because he wanted me to go with him. If your partner won’t make these basic compromises then it’s an issue

Original poster

user1485851222 · 12/04/2023 09:56

Gingergirl70 · 11/04/2023 23:22

Is it just functions or are you saying you can't get him to do anything, anywhere at anytime with anyone, Including his own family and friends? Is this a recent thing or has he always been like this?
I think it's pretty OK to not want to go to social events, tbh, as long as he's not stopping you going. Would you rather have him there, either sulking or genuinely being very unhappy and uncomfortable, have him there trying his best to mask how he really feels, but secretly feeling miserable, knowing he can't wait for the event to be over and therefore you being uncomfortable and unable to fully enjoy yourself. Or would you rather you do your functions with friends, you get to relax, enjoy the company, knowing OH is doing what he wants - even if that's nothing at all?

I agree, better to enjoy myself on my own, than have them sat there, silently seething. But can feel lonely, if everyone else is with their partner.

OP posts:

Original poster

user1485851222 · 12/04/2023 10:01

Shoxfordian · 12/04/2023 06:16

It wouldn’t suit me to not have my husband want to attend social things with me so you have to decide if this is ok for you op; he sounds very stubborn. I think part of a relationship is sometimes doing stuff you don’t really want to do for your partner - did I want to go to see his friend I don’t like with him? No but I went; it was fine, I went because he wanted me to go with him. If your partner won’t make these basic compromises then it’s an issue

He is stubborn, strong-willed, that is and was his personality when I met him, so not a new thing. As you grow older, in my case anyway, I'd like him there with me, but I have to accept, they aren't the type of person who can be told what to do, or be persuaded to change their mind. They pretty much like my company and that is enough for them... occasionally it isn't for me... but I have to accept it's a no win situation I suppose... not like I'm going to leave him..

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