Can you suddenly turn asexual?

[Felixss]

Always had a very high sex drive up until about 2 years ago I had a very life changing op I've lost loads of weight and it's died. I'm 30 and started on the combined pill about 6 months ago for painful periods. I try and have sex , I just want it to be over and I want to punch my DH when he edges or tries to make it last ages. I have to use lube. We were having sex about once a week , now I'm slim he wants it all the time. He says I should join a nunnery. 🤣

I don't fancy any other men either, I was watching something where I used to fancy the male lead and felt nothing. I don't masturbate anymore either.

I don't think I'm menopausal mother had it normal age , no hot flushes . I just don't fancy anyone or want to have sex. I don't think this is just the pill has it happened to anyone else?

It could definitely be the pill, is this the first time you've taken it or have you had it before without this effect?

How are you feeling generally, was your surgery weight loss surgery? Could it be your hormone or vitamin/iron etc levels have gone to pot as a result of that - I imagine if something is out of whack there it could possibly have an effect on libido?

Yes, I have a thyroid condition and am peri, struggle with PMT. I used to adore sex and feel sexy, in the last few years it’s become increasingly a chore, and one I’d rather avoid at that. On and off - I have times when I feel more like it than others but probably only one night a month when I actually feel horny. It sucks, I miss it and the dynamic where sex is DP’s “thing” or “need” and not mine makes it worse. I’d almost prefer he stopped wanting it, so I could have a chance at getting in the mood and coming onto someone for a change rather than it always be onto me to get out of or refuse. Sympathies OP. I find exercise and not smoking (both of us) and DP pulling his weight around the house helps.

Defo the pill. Spent my whole 20s feeling like you, came off microgynon and the world was a very different place…

Yes but all my levels are fine I did a full panel blood test. All normal it's weird !! I guess I could have my thyroid checked it was the same before I had the pill but it has got worse I want to throttle my DH when he does it. I've always randomly wanted to sex would masturbate a lot and suddenly nothing no interest at all.

Yeah microgynon killed my sex drive and I got fat and grumpy.

move back to condoms I would.

I came off hormonal BC and suddenly my sex drive reappeared. Still go through phases of feeling ‘meh’ about it, usually because of DC related stress! But once my partner initiates, especially when it starts very slow, I get into it. That never happened while on BC.

Even with terrible painful periods ? I hated the pain of them I'd get pelvic pain before and it's gone now but I'm a raging asexual bitch. 🤣 I might try a couple of months without then if the pain gets bad go back on.

Microgynon did this to me too. Came off it and woah what a difference.

However I was going to suggest perimenopause if you were older, because I have no sex drive whatsoever these days (mid-40s) and used to be a total hornbag in my 30s.

You sound like me now but I'm 62 and post menopausal. My guess it's the pill causing it (I was a raging sex machine at 30!)

I'd say the pill for sure. Could you try the hormone coil? I know that can still have the same libido squashing effect for some women, but some I think get on much better with it than the pill. And so long as you're aware it may not fix things maybe worth a try? I haven't used it myself, fortunately I never had issues with periods so switched to a copper coil, but friends have got on well with it (& I think often no periods at all).

I’m 50 , peri and don’t fancy sex at all and it’s such a relief.

Pill! I have a massive libido, yet when I was on the pill I would cheerfully never have had sex again - hated it!

It will be the pill causing it.

Another vote for the pill. Total libido squasher.

Is it intentional? It’s certainly one way to minimise risk of pregnancy.

Interesting to know that others feel this way. OP I hope the pill is the explanation as that’s fairly fixable.
I feel the same but not on the pill.

I’d say pill too.

It's the pill, gives you an insight into how much we are governed by our hormones I think..I experienced going off sex once in a relationship (and taking the pill) My menopause has reiterated this 1000%. It's a very fine balance and one pill doesn't suit all whether contraceptive or HRT. The women who get maximum benefit would need to pay for a specialist. HRT on the NHS is very much a take it or leave it thing despite all the hype about the difference it can make..it takes much knowledge and tweaking (money)

Being contraversial here it's not nature's way that we should all be gagging for it and not producing babies

It's defo the pill.
I've been sterilised after 2 kids so no hormonal contraception and my libido has come back massively!

The implant wasn't too bad and no periods so maybe try that?

Given that you only started the pill 6 months ago and it seems to be a recent thing it’s probably that.

But I do think sex drives can come and go throughout your life. I had a really high sex drive in my early 20s, then it died off completely between 25-30ish (not related to having children either, I had my dd very young) and then it came back for a while and now I’m 40s and yeah menopausal but literally couldn’t give a crap about sex anymore. Rather have a cup of tea. (And yeah I’m on HRT and all that, it’s definitely psychological, not remotely interested). Maybe it will come back again in the future. I think we’re much more fluid in our sex drives than we acknowledge.

I think HRT can help with bone density and physical stuff like curing hot sweats, but it's not necessarily going to give you back the vavavoom you once had.. especially if it was fleeting lol

Your DH sounds like a right piece of work

Yep. That’s what I’m finding. I think sex drive for many people (ie me) is very closely linked to the desire to reproduce, even on a subconscious level. It’s like now I know I can’t my body has just been like “yep and now we close that book and move on”. 🤷‍♀️😆

"Now I'm slim he wants it all the time" Oh so your body's "good" enough now for him to have sex with. If my DP suddenly wanted sex 24.7 because I was now slim and my body met his approval I'd be hoofing him to the kirb. Perhaps subconsciously that's why your sex drive has gone down.