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Original poster

Is my husband depressed?

12 replies

Lauren4048 · 10/04/2023 19:47

Hi I've not posted on here before but I really need someone to talk too... About 3 months ago my husband and I had a big row and I threw him out and he went to stay at his mums. Since then he has been coming back to our house sleeping on a blow up bed in the spare room, has lost all interest in his hobbies, has stopped shaving ( he's normally very clean cut) says he's unhappy in his life its not just me it's everything, has no connection to his house or me or his children (there 16 and 15) says he doesn't want to live at his house and he feels empty. Everyone in the family has noticed he is not himself, he gets angry very quickly and irritable he said the other day he wants to sell the house and live on his own but is still wearing his wedding ring. We've been together for 18 years and his character at the minute is completly different it's like a stranger. I have asked him if he would go see the gp but he says there's nothing wrong?

OP posts:
Knockmealdowns · 10/04/2023 20:05

If he won’t go willingly and you’re worried about him, he can be sectioned? I’m sorry he sounds depressed.. he certainly needs to see GP

Original poster
Lauren4048 · 10/04/2023 20:26

I don't know how to get him sectioned he will go mad, he blows up over the smallest things at the moment. I was thinking of contacting the gp myself but I know they won't tell me anything. He's gone off to work away for a week now I'm just wondering if that might help being on his own?

OP posts:
Knockmealdowns · 10/04/2023 21:12

Oh bless you it’s hard. You could make an appointment with GP ( who can order a section if he thinks it’s necessary) and tell them all that’s going on and seek advice? I don’t have enough experience to advise you but I too would be concerned in your shoes…

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Blackberrypavlova · 11/04/2023 06:35

This sounds so hard. It does sound like your DH is showing classic symptoms of depression and/or having a breakdown. I have been through this many times with my husband - he denied he was depressed for years as in his mind, a depressed person would be crying all day in a darkened room, and that was not what he was doing.

I think as PPs have mentioned, you phoning the GP and explaining the situation would be a good first step.

Marchforward · 11/04/2023 06:41

It sounds like he is far from being sectioned. He doesn’t sound like he is dangerous to himself or others.

Why did you throw him out? Sounds like this is the catalyst but things were obviously not OK if you asked him to leave.

Whatevergetsyouthroughthenight · 11/04/2023 06:46

What he is saying and how he is behaving ticks all the boxes for depression. I would try saying exactly that to him and suggest he consider he reads up on it. Getting him to the GP may be a step too far at this stage, but can you at least get him to consider that he might be depressed.

Original poster
Lauren4048 · 11/04/2023 07:48

I've tried mentioning he may be depressed he says there's nothing wrong with him he's just a bit mixed up. We had an argument over something ridiculous I can't even really remember but its just escalated from there. I'm so worried for him and now he's saying he wants to sell the house which we only bought over a year ago I'm finding this very hard as the next day after he's said hurtful things and negative its not mentioned again. I'm not sure about sectioning but I do need some professional advice from a gp see what they suggest or some leaflets. I haven't slept in weeks and weeks I'm crying all the time trying to be happy for my kids they've got important exams coming up but when he comes back to stay over its like walking on eggshells and I feel sick

OP posts:
SilverPeacock · 11/04/2023 08:02

It does sound like he could be depressed. There is nothing you have described which would suggest he is anywhere near needing to be ‘sectioned’, so he would need to be willing to seek help for himself. You do need some advice for yourself OP. Do you want to still be with him? You need to talk through with someone what you want to do and look after yourself so your GP in the first instance. But you may benefit from some form of relationship counselling and possibly legal advice if the relationship is ending. I would be googling mental health charities and see what advice they can offer. Sorry for the difficult situation you find yourself in

SilverPeacock · 11/04/2023 08:08

Tell his GP of your concerns for him as well

MeinKraft · 11/04/2023 08:33

Stop letting him stay over. He can go and be depressed somewhere else and stop dragging you all down with him.

Original poster
Lauren4048 · 11/04/2023 17:32

Yes of course I still want to be with him, I love him and want to support him its just all very emotionally draining and if he won't seek help I'm stuck. Feels like groundhog day every day, I'm going to ring the gp tomorrow to see if they can suggest any help. Thanks everyone for your advice and opinions x

OP posts:
user1471886287 · 17/10/2023 09:11

so sorry to hear this Lauren. I'm going through something similar just now with my husband of 17 years. He says its not me; its life, kids, us, work, eveything. Its utterly soul destroying. I don't know if he has checked out on us or its depression. I feel your pain. I hope you are ok

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