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Crazy stuff your parents did that would have social services out now

491 replies

usernamechanged1 · 10/04/2023 17:00

Dipping the dummy in sugar, fizzy juice for toddlers…did your parents do anything that would be considered shocking now?

For me, I looked after my younger siblings when I was 11 (they were 8 and 5) overnight a few times a week due to clashes of my mum & dad’s nightshift work. No adults in the house, just the three of us. It didn’t cross my mind that it was crazy at the time but when I think back, it was insane.

OP posts:
slashlover · 10/04/2023 19:12

My sister was a biter so every time she bit me, my mum would bite her. She soon stopped doing it.
Putting the portable BBQ, food and alcohol in my cousins pram and making her walk so the adults didn't have to carry anything. She was able to go in the pram once we got where we were having the BBQ.

Ivyy · 10/04/2023 19:13

In the late 80's at the age of 7 being "allowed" a tot of red wine in a sherry glass with Sunday dinners, as though it was a treat. I remember being made to feel very grown up by my parents, especially my dm who told me "it's what the French do", she thought she was being rather posh. My brother who was 3 years older than me was allowed an actual wine glass with more than me, though once I was 10/11 I was given the same!

My grandma used to have a splash of scotch in her tea time cup of tea, so when we were at her house or she was visiting us, my dm would have the same. Around the same age as the wine, so 7/8, I was allowed to have a cup of tea with whiskey in too! Dm always said it warmed us up...

I remember at the same sort of age, a Saturday night when my parents had friends over for dinner. I was feeling really envious that my brother was allowed to stay up with them and have some whiskey, but I had to go to bed. I sneaked downstairs and poured myself half a glass of whiskey, having no idea what it was really! It was horrible and burnt my throat but I drank it, thinking I was missing out and it was unfair my brother was given some! I basically got very drunk and sick from it, the bedroom started spinning when I was back upstairs and I was scared, so I stumbled back down the stairs to tell my dm. My parents and their friends thought it was hilarious and I was given water then sent back to bed, dm giving me a bowl at the side of my bed in case I was sick!

There was also the dunking of the dummy in whisky, parents smoking all around the house and in the car, no seatbelts and squashing 4 friends in the back seat, 2 in the boot.

My dm got a cleaner in one morning a week (despite being a stay at home mum and my gran coming round one day a week to help with cleaning, ironing, gardening and looking after me and my brother). I remember in the holidays the cleaning lady would look after us while dm went clothes shopping, I'd sit on her knee and she'd smoke. Dm would come home and not bat an eyelid.

Smacking, shouting, verbal abuse from dm, my df mostly left the parenting to her, which she always complained about. Unless it was a Saturday afternoon and he'd look after us while she went shopping again for a break from us. Or he'd take us out somewhere to give her some time away from us!

Being taken to an adult party on a Saturday night, I was definitely under the age of 9, my parents and their friends were all drunk and smoking. It was the summer holidays and the party host was a teacher at a small local private school. He and his wife had the keys to the swimming pool somehow and invited their friends for a pool party! I remember being really scared by the drunk adults, not knowing if a play fight was actually a play fight like my parents told me it was. One man took off all his clothes and went skinny dipping, no attempt to hide anything from me so I got a full view of him naked, everyone laughed at how funny it was and how petrified I looked. Then dm drink driving us home afterwards.

She was and still is emotionally abusive and we have a very fractured relationship, but that's a whole other story!

Slitheringheights · 10/04/2023 19:14

Running about the farmers fields, prob causing a nuisance. Farmer comes out with a big shotgun and aims at us. Obviously just to frighten us. Ran home and my mums reply was. That’s what you get for going into the fields!!! 😆

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Moaning5 · 10/04/2023 19:14

Drinking and driving with us in the car (often the footwells if all of us together)

Domestic abuse between parents. Lots of smacking and punching the children. School days were missed while black eyes faded and split lips healed.

Having more kids when they clearly didn’t look after the ones they had in order to keep hold of marriage partners.

Complete disinterest in anything related to children, particularly school related.

Preteens babysitting the younger ones for hours on end with no food in the house. Also being offered out to babysit friends kids and the electric running out every single time.

God my parents were completely shit and they’ve the bared faced audacity to judge my parenting skills.

FormerlyPathologicallyHappy · 10/04/2023 19:15

MaidOfSteel · 10/04/2023 18:39

For a bit of context, wearing seatbelts didn't become compulsory until 1983, if I remember rightly. And if your parents had an older car, it might not even have been fitted with seatbelts.

Am I right in thinking that, initially, the seatbelt laws only applied to front seats?

Yes. your right. My parents got me a rear seat belt around that time and loads of people they knew said they were being a bit precious.

FirstnameSuesecondnamePerb · 10/04/2023 19:16

My mum leaving us 8.30 til 3.30 during school holidays. I was 7, my sister 6 and my brother 9. She would pop home at lunch time to make sure we were still alive.

Harryisabollock · 10/04/2023 19:17

God so many things! Mainly centreted around my eccentric father:
Telling me to watch the bonfire (I was 3...)
Telling me mens urinal cakes were sweeties
Telling me a red sunset meant a nuclear war
Dropping me in the sea to teach me to swim
Endless slightly drunk driving
Taking my 5 year old brother on an 'adventure at 2am to a scrap car dealers yard- he was small enough to slide under the gate and unlock so my dad could get a rare car part the owner had refused to sell him
List is endless but I had the most fantastic weird childhood ever!

Manichean · 10/04/2023 19:20

Out all day in the holidays with our mates 9.00 till 5.00, not a penny, drink or choc bar between us - it was great.

eatdrinkandbemerry · 10/04/2023 19:22

Rubbing whiskey on a teething babies gums 🤣

Redebs · 10/04/2023 19:24

Smoking in the car. Both of them. With the windows closed.

No seatbelts in the back of the car.

Quite a bit of smacking.

Apart from those, which were the norm back then, we were loved immensely and reminded of it frequently ❤

Redebs · 10/04/2023 19:29

Sewfrickinamazeballs · 10/04/2023 17:43

Oh, and once I was choking on something (think it was bacon) and got told to get out of the way of the TV.

The rest I can't type out.

So sorry 😞

LittleMy77 · 10/04/2023 19:30

Grew up the in the 80’s here.

Being allowed (more benign neglect as I had older siblings) to watch really inappropriate horror films on videos from the video store and rocky horror show and stuff. Reading loads of unsuitable stuff - I was an early reader so progressed through the school and local library. I scared myself shitless reading about ww2 and nuclear war by about 7!

being given wine and having access to alcohol at a young age, my mum smoking 20 a day even in the kitchen whilst cooking

LyndaSnellsSniff · 10/04/2023 19:30

As with so many others, travelling in the boot of the car. I remember visiting a safari park and hiding under coats in the boot (hatchback) to fool the ticket office staff into thinking there were only 3 people visiting.

Being shown a hardcore porn mag at 6 years old by the son of a family friend. My parents found out but all that happened was the son was told off for stealing it from his dad. The son would only have been about 8. The fact that he was able to access it from his dad's sizeable and poorly hidden stash was neither here nor there.

HelterSkelter224 · 10/04/2023 19:31

3 families went on holiday together, all the kids (about 10 of us) bundled in the back of a transit van with a mattress on the floor for a 3h drive along country roads 😂

Was great fun!

OnaBegonia · 10/04/2023 19:35

Quite a lot of these aren't abuse, cars didn't have seatbelts, kids played out, were expected to help
out with siblings and about the house. We have now went to extreme where 16/17 yr olds are waited on hand and foot.

threesheets · 10/04/2023 19:40

Being dragged out the car after misbehaving, picked up and bare arse smacked at the side of a busy road (also once on the hard shoulder of a motorway).

Chucked out the house to play every evening after we'd finished our tea and told not to come back home until it was dark. Also left at home to our own devices all day from quite a young age while parents out working. Latchkey generation and all that.

mamabear715 · 10/04/2023 19:41

Yeah, it was all normal.. the smoking (I still smoke, was probably addicted from being a baby!) the lack of seat belts, the being parked outside pubs with pop & crisps & Radio Luxembourg playing..
Being out from dawn until dusk, no-one knew where you were.. it was awesome!

The only thing I didn't like when babysitting my much younger sister, was when mum & dad brought their friends home from the pub. Much music & screeching laughter & my sis & I would sit at the top of the stairs saying how disgusting it was, WE had school the next day.. ;-)

But our parents were only 22/21 when I was born. It was the norm then.

ladygindiva · 10/04/2023 19:42

Drink driving with kids in the car. Smoking indoors. Leaving us as young children in hotel rooms/ holiday apartments alone at night whilst they drank at the bar with a baby monitor.

IsThePopeCatholic · 10/04/2023 19:42

Sugar cubes dipped in alcohol .
drunk driving.

Gothambutnotahamster · 10/04/2023 19:43

thecatsthecats · 10/04/2023 17:18

Ooh, yes, travelling in the boot on the odd night.

I loved travelling in the boot. Sad that my children will never know the joy 😂

Me too! Such fun!

Fantasmagoricalan · 10/04/2023 19:44

unlimiteddilutingjuice · 10/04/2023 17:43

FangedFrisbee Turn the heat off underneath the pan. Soak a tea towel under the cold tap then wring it out to remove the excess water. Place the wet teatowel over the pan to starve the fire of air.

EdithGradham Apparently so. I think it creates a larger blaze if you get it wrong. I only found this put by sharing the story on another forum. I don't know what you're supposed to do now.

But an air fryer, probably. Boring.

UneFoisAuChalet · 10/04/2023 19:44

Smoking everywhere, car, house. I remember my dad doing the weekly shop with a cigarette in his hand.

The moment that I still get 😳 shocked, is when we were on holiday in the US, on a beach, my dad gave me some money to go the shop and get us some ice cream. Oh, and a pack of cigs and a six pack of Miller lite. I must have been 7/8 and my father never really drank. Only on a hot summer’s day and maybe a tipple at Christmas (which was great as a teenager as my parents’ booze cabinet was filled and it would take them over a year before they noticed the rhum was ‘off’ (watered down by yours truly.)

I went to the shop, lugged the six pack and ice cream to the counter and asked for a pack of Export A. The shopkeeper was aghast and sent me on my way. I cried all the way back to the beach and told him in tears ‘they wouldn’t let me buy beer and cigarettes!’ My mom freaked out at him and he was e suitably embarrassed. When we’d talk talk about it years later, he’d get really huffy and shut down the conversation. Yeah, dad sending your kid to buy beer and fags wasn’t your proudest moment.

marrymeadam · 10/04/2023 19:44

This thread has made me so grateful for my childhood. We drove without seatbelts as was the norm and we played out for hours alone but my mum and dad didn't drink or smoke, I was played with, walked to school and basically loved and cared for. I have just messaged my mum to thank them for trying their best for me

littleroad · 10/04/2023 19:45

FormerlyPathologicallyHappy · 10/04/2023 19:15

Yes. your right. My parents got me a rear seat belt around that time and loads of people they knew said they were being a bit precious.

My experience too. My parents got one from Mothercare. It was red and it had two arm straps and buckled in the middle. The buckle was metal and would literally burn your skin in the summer. I was teased mercilessly by the kids in our street for being a ‘baby’ because of that belt!

SpecialControlGroup · 10/04/2023 19:45

The kids sitting on the wheel arches in the back of an empty transit van

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