Sympathy/bereavement present for someone who doesn't like flowers?

[TheTurn0fTheScrew]

An old friend has just lost a loved one. I am over 300 miles away so can't call round promptly, and the funeral was immediate for religious reasons, otherwise I would have planned to travel for that. I'd like to send something for her, but she isn't a flowers person. Would a scented candle or good bath oil be weird?

Did she ask for donations to a charity?

She hasn't yet - the loss was sudden and so it's possible thoughts haven't turned to that yet. I will of course donate as well if something's arranged.

Just send a card

A thoughtful card with a personal message is enough. I got sent a present once after a bereavement and it felt burdensome, every time I saw it it just kind of underlined my loss and I gave it away. Appreciated the kind cards and messages though.

A card. Really a gift is a bit weird. Someone arrived with a present after my DH died , a photo album she’d put together of our last happy holiday together. It cut so deep I burnt it.
Cards meant so much though.

I think you could send chocolates, nice biscuits or a cake if she likes them.

I think a lovely card with some heartfelt words is the best thing to send.

I agree about a card and then a charity donation.

A lovely rose bush or plant can work instead of flowers - not a present though (although your intention is lovely)

card, with thoughts about the person they lost will be the most appreciated.

I sent my friend in US a wind chime when her DH died. She loved it.

I received a hamper of food from a friend, it was so welcome to see the kids excited in the bleakness as they opened it and much was geared towards them.

I received some nice food gifts when DH died, biscuits, cake, sweets, which I appreciated more than flowers. Even if I didn’t want them, they were less effort than flowers, and DC definitely appreciated them more than flowers. But, I have read other MN threads on this subject and many people disagree.