Starting over at 40 in London

[User8907]

I'm recently single and considering moving to London. I'm early 40s, no kids. I'm fortunate enough to buy somewhere around London a small flat, but that's all I need. I've lived only a small while in London before, and then in one of the commuting towns nearby (I work in London). Has anyone done something similar? I don't have friends or family in London, so this would be on my own. I would hope to make friends ofc.

Or any over 40s, do you like living in London?

What are you hoping to get out of moving to London?

If you planning to be in a suburb, then it would take you just as much time to get home as a town outside London. If you want the central, then it tends to be busy all the time.

@Kpo58 I feel there's more to do in London, mainly on weekends, so less lonely. Also easier to find friends as more single people live in London? Eventually I'd like to start dating again. I admit I may have a fantasy of living in London.

Do it op and then join some clubs, go to meetups and find like-minded folk who enjoy the same things as you. Why not?

It is easy to find stuff to do and to make friends in London. That's not a fantasy.

However, dating in London is a giant dumpster fire. So I'd rein in your expectations there, especially if you're thinking online dating.

Go for it. I'd try to be in Zones 1-3 if you can afford it. Easy access to zip about for work and meet up groups. I think there is actually a 'Meet Up' app to make friends, go out for meals etc. You'll never be bored in London and lots of people eat alone , go to the cinema alone etc.

Thanks for the encouragement, I appreciate it 🙏

Regarding dating, it's not on my mind now. I've never been on dating apps so I wanted to give it a go, but doesn't sound very promising

I have.
Moved to Zone 1 from the home counties last year at nearly 50.
Have been working in Central London for the last few years, so had a good idea of the different areas, but no friendship or support network.
I am loving it. Have met several lovely people, attending comedy gigs, theatre, museums etc alone and just getting chatting to people. Got an evening job at a local pub, which has been wonderful for meeting people that live locally, so building a network slowly.
I didn't realise how stagnant and low I had been living in my previous home (not helped by the pandemic), moving has given me a million more adventures on my doorstep that I cannot wait to explore.

Fantastic idea. I'm quite envious.

@AddictedtoStarmix love your story!

My London friends seem to have the best social lives and I'm so jealous of them living there, go for it!

Following! I think you're right for what it's worth

Let me save you a bit of time.

From profile:
[photograph 10 years out of date]
Height: 6'2" [lies: 5'5' at best]
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From message:
heyyy
got anymore pics?

From date:
I prefer to sleep with people first and build a relationship from that. Where do you live?

@intotalfreefall I'll keep this in mind 😂 I'm in no headspace to look for a man yet.

I've known a number of women who decided to move to London or other cities (Edinburgh is another one) on their own later in life. You're right, there's so much more to do there and lots of it is for free. There's always somewhere new to explore. I lived in London for more than 20 years. I would recommend living in a decent area, as close to the centre, as possible. I made the mistake of buying originally in a slightly dodgy area and hoping it would improve: it didn't. Knowing what I know now, I'd prefer to have a studio flat somewhere central rather than something bigger further out. I think living within a short walk of a nice park and a nice cafe or pub or bar can really enhance your quality of life. If I didn't have a partner who hates busy cities I would be off to Edinburgh at the earlier opportunity.

@User8907 As long as you accept that the quality of men on OLD here is shit, there's no reason why you shouldn't move here.

I love London, I really do. You could do something different every night if you wanted to - there are loads of opportunities to make friends as well.

Property is expensive, but you don't really need bags of space when you can treat home as just a place to crash. We have plenty of gorgeous greenery in London, so you won't miss out from not having a garden etc.

Transport is brilliant (well, apart from some patchy bits in the South) and healthcare is brilliant. I think I might well have been dead by now if I lived somewhere else... Honestly, I'm so grateful for the access to amazing doctors and hospitals. Something to bear in mind now that you're over 30. Even if there's nothing wrong with you now, it's good to know you'll be in the best possible place for if that changes.

The sense of community, the sense of culture... the places to explore...

Do it. Just do it.

Thank you all for the encouragement, it's given me a boost.

I lived in London for a portion of my life and still miss it. Nowhere is like it, it’s a wonderful city with endless things to do, see and eat! Absolutely do it

Slightly different but I moved to London to move in with my DH (at the time my boyfriend). I was early 30s. It was fab. Everything felt exciting and new to me (it still does six years later!) I joined the local gym and over time I’ve built up a good friend network from there. Admittedly it’s taken time but I can now proudly say I have local friends. My best advice is join a club / group / the gym and go for the move.

I'm in my 50s and live in London. Echo other posters that it's easy to make friends, online dating is terrible.

With the friends also, London tends to be transient so they may be friends for a few years and then move. I've been through several cycles of friends, you have to regularly make new ones to replace the ones who move away.

I echo what Trilobite says. I lived in London until I was around 43, at which point I moved away. You need to be the kind of person with interests. You'll meet people while pursuing those interests. In my time, I did lots of evening courses and they were a great way to meet like-minded people. The people you work with are likely to live all over the place and many will commute in from a distance so even if you become friends they may rarely be available to socialise. But you've got to go out and do stuff, it's not going to come to you.

Gym, writing/art/dance/language/whatever classes, join the local FB group, hobby groups, volunteering - London is great for meeting all sorts of people. :)

@User8907 If you moved to London drop me a message. I am in a similar position to you, active, play tennis, go on hikes with dog. I am single and no kids, zone2.