How do working parents do it?

[Dreamitaway]

I work Monday to Friday 9 - 5, I've just been promoted and was previously was doing shift work whilst my partner looked after the kids, but this wasn't great money wise and it was damaging his mental health.

My partner is now working shifts, some are day shifts and others are nights.

My house is a constant mess, I don't mean untidy, I mean it needs a good scrub top to bottom and we do this and with 3 kids, it ends up in a mess pretty much the next day. I have zero energy, something I'll be going to gp about when I can get an appointment, but after work I pick the kids up at 5.30 and don't get home till 6, where I have to do a quick dinner.

The kids need bathing and on Tuesday, they go swimming which I tend to do on my own. I also suffer with poor mental health and chronic back problems, the tidiness of the house is something I really struggle with especially when my partner does a week or two of nights as it's pretty much just me doing everything or well trying anyway.

We need some kind of routine, but I'm so tired all the time I feel unable to keep up my side. I go to other people's houses and they're so tidy and clean. My house looks like a bomb has gone off.

Sorry for the long rant, I just feel so stuck and not able to do anything. I'm so tired of being tired all the time.

1. Lower your standards. It really is OK to have a house that isn't perfectly tidy and scrubbed from top to bottom
2. Declutter and sell anything you can
3. Focus on keeping surfaces and floors clean and clear. This will make the house feel much cleaner and tidier
4. Take advantage of any settings you have on appliances. My washing machine has a timer and I LOVE IT.
5. Prep for meals. Lots of advice on this if you give it a google.
6. Your partner does still need to pick up some housework. Nights are a killer, but he can still hang out a load of washing if you've set it to be done for when he gets in and get a pre prepped meal out the freezer the night before to defrost ready to be slung in the slow cooker in the morning and sort the kids breakfast, clean the bathroom before he showers ect ect. DO NOT LET HIM OPT OUT
7. Your kids can and should pitch in even if they're little, they can tidy and pick up rubbish to put in the bin, fold washing, put laundry away ect. Mine also fight to hoover and will dust surfaces with a damp cloth. It won't be perfect but it's teaching life skills and every little helps.
8. Check your sleep quality you mention you snore badly. This will impact your sleep. Try some over counter remedies like nose strips ect if you haven't already. Could you have a dust allergy? I do and have to take steroid nasal spray before bed and keep my bedroom damp dusted and regularly hoovered.

If finances allow get a cleaner in Monday to do a deep clean and organise then rest of the week keep on top of it with 30 min each morning and 30 min evening, and get the kids to help my DD is 7 she tidied her room in the morning before school and makes her bed, other dd 15 and ds 12 don’t though but I just close door on their rooms and they ll sort it when they want to, also found cooking lasagne or something you can re heat sunday helps with meals mid week less washing and prep .. it ll still feel like a constant battle but it will feel much more manageable and it’s lovely to come home to a spotless house that you haven’t cleaned yourself too mine also does my ironing, it’s well worth the money if you can afford it.

I'm a single full-time working mum, with sole care. Like QueenBee, I get up 40 mins before I need to and tidy or clean the bathroom, put washing on or clear some ironing (quiet stuff).

Early mornings at the weekend, I hoover and do anything that takes longer. The fridge and the kitchen cupboards this weekend. 🙂

Also, just accept that small dcs aren't tidy. When my ds was small his lego was often left out all week.