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Would it be selfish to try again in this situation (TW pregnancy loss)

2 replies

icysky · 09/04/2023 09:01

Lost a pregnancy a few months ago. It was unplanned as we weren’t going to try until the end of the year or early next year. It will make a massive difference as we are hoping to buy a house in that time and get married in September. Currently, we’re at the viewing properties stage. I know having dependents can impact you getting a mortgage and can imagine moving while pregnant to be stressful. We’re also fairly young and could enjoy lots of time as a couple first. It’s what I’ve been trying to do, but I can’t think of anything else even though it was an extremely early loss only a week or so after my missed period. I hadn’t fully decided if I wanted to keep or terminate it was that early and that much of a shock.

I constantly have in my head how many weeks I would be at this point. I feel like it would be selfish to TTC knowing we aren’t fully ready at the moment and don’t know if it’s normal that I am obsessing over this like I am. Doesn’t help that I work with babies in my line of work and have recently become an auntie too!

OP posts:
icysky · 09/04/2023 09:23

I guess my OP isn’t too clear about what I’m actually asking! I worry it’s not the fairest on future DC to come at a time before we planned them to if we do try again. My worry would be that it would prevent us from buying a house, even though we’re looking now. We both have good jobs and could financially support.

My fiance is a little sad but I think he was able to process it so much quicker as it was so early, he could write it off to himself as a late period. He’s there for me when I need to talk but don’t think he understands the level I feel the loss on. I’m worried that it would stop us from enjoying couple time while we are young but ironically I can’t at the moment anyway as I’m just moping!

OP posts:
icysky · 21/04/2023 17:53

Just giving this a nudge to see if anyone can advise <3

OP posts:
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