How do you feel about your childhood experience of religion?

[nomorespaghetti]

Growing up in the 90s I went to a very white C of E primary, went to church & Sunday school, but we weren’t super religious at home. As a child I didn’t get a lot of comfort from Christianity, my main takeaway from the experience was that god knew everything I thought, and I should be ashamed of basically everything I did/thought, and I would go to hell if I wasn’t “good”.

When I was maybe 8 or 9 my mum mentioned that some people believe different things, and some people don’t believe in god at all. It was an absolute revelation - I never knew that was an option! It took me a while to accept that I didn’t believe (and a lot of guilt/shame), but basically I realised I was an atheist.

My kids are having a very different experience. Me and DH are both atheist. Kids school is not a faith school, and around 75% Muslim children. We’ve talked a lot about why different people observe different festivals, and DD7 knows more about Ramadan, Eid, Diwali than e.g. Easter. I’ve explained that daddy and me don’t believe in god and we don’t have a religion, lots of other people have different religions, and that they can decide when they are grownups if they want to join a religion or not. We celebrate Easter and Christmas as spring and winter festivals, not religious festivals.

I overheard DD saying to her friend last week that she doesn’t have a religion or believe in god (friend was a bit shocked and came to check with me that she’d heard right!) I’m really glad she doesn’t seem to have the guilt/shame hangups that I did as a child.

It made me think a lot about how Christianity being taught as fact to me at school as a child was really not good for me. I’m interested to know other people’s experiences of religion in childhood, and how they’ve influenced them as adults, or how you feel about those early experiences now?

Can I just say how absolutely wonderful the Salvation Army have been when my organisation has reached the limits of what we can do? I have the greatest respect for them.

There was a Salvation Army hall close to where I was brought up and they were a wonderful presence in our community (except when they woke me up playing trumpets and tubas every Sunday morning🤣) I am an atheist now, but I still admire the Salvation Army. They never try to convert anyone, just offer unconditional generosity and kindness to some of the most vulnerable in our society.

Raised Catholic. I feel quite nostalgic about it. I enjoyed the ritual of going for communion, mass on a Sunday and all the other events around the year that we celebrated. There was no Catholic guilt in my family though, as my dad wasn't Catholic.

I went to a cofe school we sang hymns everyday, the lord's prayer and prayed before lunch. I liked it tbh, I'm an atheist but I found it comforting. I'm a little sad DDs school do not do it. It didn't do me any harm DDs secondary will be CofE so she might do more of it there.

This is it I liked the rituals although I don't believe.

30 years of devout but kind Christianity has made me an atheist. It’s all just so unbelievable I can’t believe I ever followed any of it. So much corruption and hate within the church too.

I don't go anymore but I do actually miss it, as you've said @Felixss It was comforting and I think I'd still get that feeling, although I know it's a 'story'.

I was christened Catholic, but my only real experiences of church were when I was in rainbows and brownies as a kid.
I'm atheist. I went to a Jewish school so know a lot more about Judaism than Christianity. Took my RE GCSE in Judaism in fact.

Nastiest people I encountered were nuns, priests and some catholic teachers. Similarly the most toxic hypocritical person I’ve had the misfortune to know as an adult is the wife of a Methodist minister.

They absolutely do try to convert others. The basic belief of Christianity is that Jesus is the way to heaven. If you don’t believe you don’t go to heaven. If you’re not trying to convert others you’re failing as a Christian to be honest.
Whilst I agree that the Sally Army do a lot of good there is also a lot of fear and judgement within it just like any other branch of Christianity. Also many non-religious charities do just as much, if not more, without the insidious righteousness of religion.

Fair enough. I'm just going on my own personal experience @ladyvimes. A few of my neighbours were in the Salvation Army and, unlike some other Christians I knew, they didn't bring Jesus into every (or any) conversation. Shoehorning Jesus into conversations is a national pastime in NI. They were very involved in helping the homeless etc. Also, my half sister tracked me down with their help. There was no hidden agenda, just a willingness to help. Of course they have a mission to bring people into their fold, like any Christian denomination, but it doesn't appear to be done on the back of offering help.

Pretty religious upbringing- church every Sunday, Dad had a lay position in the church. Very much taught that God was watching and disapproving of everything I did. In the end just got disillusioned with nasty people using religion to have power over others. Local bishop thought of as paragon of holiness was sexual abuser. So was the priest of church my C of E primary school was next to. Church youth group leader groomed a 16- year-old, married her, was an abusive husband. Best friend was sexually assaulted by another teenager in the youth group who was always at the front of worship services with his arms in the air, next to his happy-clappy girlfriend. As an adult, went to more evangelical church. In a home group, one of the participants cried out one evening that her husband was physically abusive. The church's focus was on coaching the husband to stop it, rather than addressing the woman's safety. The woman left her abuser a few months later. The man started attending the church with the woman who became his second wife.

I have known many genuinely wonderful and Godly people, but I have lost all faith in churches. I don't go to church any more, but I join in Quaker worship online when I can. Quakers seem to have got it right.

Grew up in 1960s/70s, trad white working class, bath in front of the fire, outside toilet, 2up 2down type terrace house. Neither parent went to church but me and my siblings were christened and had godparents (never seen again after the service).

We were sent to Methodist Sunday School because my DPs wanted a 'lie-in' (euphemism alert) and it was just around the corner from our house.

I decided early on that I liked Jesus very much but couldn't bring myself to believe in a god that was supposed to be all powerful and all seeing but let such horrible things happen to other children (specifically the Aberfan disaster).

I still feel pretty much the same now.

I resent it.

Religion in any form fills me with an intense sense of boredom (maybe linked to Bering services).

I am sure it doesn’t help me as an adult when having to listen to any form of religious discussion. I think I’m less tolerant not than I would have been had I not had religion forced upon me (I respect people’s views, but am not interested in listening to them).

Boring church services, not Bering!

I had what seemed an unusual religious upbringing, as mum is catholic, her cousin is an Anglican vicar, and my late father was a presbyterian who never converted. Then I never went to a faith school, as the senior school was limited with no sixth form then (has one now), and my parents did not think a cross-town journey instead of walking to infants/juniors was appropriate.

Never really felt force fed religion as a result, not the negativity that I know many people have.

I was brought up with a mother who was religious and a father who wasn’t; CofE church every Sunday morning, Sunday school every Sunday afternoon. We were sent privately to a RC convent school where we were indoctrinated and , as ‘non Catholics’ considered to be second class and in need of saving so a pretty strict and miserable education, constantly being reminded what sinners we were for not being RC (happy to have us fee paying though!)

Some of the nastiest, most hypocritical people I have ever known or met have been religious, it’s put me off religion for life.

Happily atheist now.

My childhood experience was very mixed up. My mum is Jewish but neither she nor her parents ever believed so I was brought up with atheist beliefs. No Synagogue etc. None of my friends at school or home were Jewish. My dad was a CofE atheist (divorced early).

I grew up with my mum and grandparents and saw dad in the holidays.

My mum and GPs were still involved with other Jewish people socially and we lived in a Jewish area, so when I was about 7 they decided that I ought to learn about it. Suddenly I was expected to go to Cheder (Jewish Sunday School) and was switched to Jewish school dinners so was no longer able to sit with my friends. There were a few disasters before I was able to switch back. Talking about God, I obviously said I didn't believe and nor did my family - horror to the others. Favourite food? Heinz Beans and bacon burgers - bought for me at home. Another hoo ha. In the end I refused to get out of the car outside Cheder and threatened to run off if dragged out. So that was that. But it was a bloody awful few months. At Secondary school I refused to take Jewish holidays off as it was pointless and eventually my mum did the same.

To this day the hypocrisy annoys me. Probably mainly about what the neighbours thought.

My DC have been raised to question. They know that DH and I don't believe but some people do for their own reasons. Then they could decide.

Also many non-religious charities do just as much, if not more, without the insidious righteousness of religion.

Ours is one of the latter. Although it was set up by a religious leader with the help of various churches, it was then left to be run secularly.

I used to think like you, but one day of my work is spent basically approaching other organisations in the field, and the vast majority of them are church or faith based. I don't use the word 'religious' because they don't operate through religion or have any religious expectations of those they support. In fact most of the peoole I refer to them are off very different faiths and cultures.

If you look into the history of many of the big secular charities, you'll find that their origin was faith based.
As an atheist, there's lots I can find to criticise in religion, but my post retirement work has opened my eyes to the vast amount of good going on out there, and that those working in those fields are admirably non-judgmental, which again, goes against what many of us think about religious people.

So yes, I don't have a knee jerk 'religion is insidious and bad' reaction, and I appreciate goodness and selflessness when I see it. Even when it's from unexpected quarters.

My mother was Catholic. Went to religious schools. Had to go to church every Sunday until I was 16.

I didn't like the way that women and girls were treated, or the fact that some of the staunchest Catholics weren't actually very nice people. I respect people's religion but have none myself, nor does my immediate family.

I had a strict Catholic upbringing, Mass every a Sunday and every day during Lent, and very strict attitudes from parents. We didn’t have healthy debates about things, it was just the Church rules.

I haven’t followed it as an adult, neither so my now adult children.

I'm a lapsed Catholic but my kids are pretty e atheist.
On Friday I was asking my teenage son if he knew what the significance of Good Friday was?
He said "Is it the day of the last supper?", I said no.
He said "Is it the day Jesus rose from the dead?", I said no, it's something that happened between those two events.
He said "Is it the day Jesus was crucified?", I said yes.
He said "Jeez, why do they call it Good Friday, what must a Bad Friday have been like?"😀

My parents were raised CofE but by the time they had me they were in a hippy phase. They told me that ‘god’ didn’t exist and raised us on a mix of Paganism, Buddhism and random
NewAge stuff.

Now they’re old they’ve reverted to CofE, insist that is always what they have believed, and are annoyed that I’m not a Christian.

🤷‍♀️

I find myself with a vague belief in reincarnation and karma and certainly don’t believe anything in the Bible is historical, although I think it’s an interesting record of the most successful cult ever.

When I was 8 my Mum suddenly went from a very much into Christmas, birthdays and parties lady to a devout Jehova's Witness. I wasn't told about God kindly - it was more of a "Four horsemen are going to come and destroy the world soon so you need to behave" kind of thing. I was told that God was disappointed in me because I cried over not celebrating Christmas or my birthday, and when family tried to intervene, my Mum went no contact with them for a while.

She left the kingdom hall in my teens and I can honestly say I don't know what to believe anymore. I'm open minded to the possibility of any religion/God being true, but I'm still unsure so I'd say I'm Agnositc. Bloody love celebrating Christmas with DW and the kids, though!

I went to a church primary and RC secondary. Gave up going to church as soon as I was allowed. But found my way back as an adult and was revived into the Catholic Church 18 years ago. Still practicing and no regrets. I'm glad I was brought up the way I was. My sister gave up church and that's fine.

I grew up in Ireland so the vast majority of people were Catholic like me and my family. I lived in an an area that had a large minority of Church of Ireland so I had some sense that there were different religions and beliefs around.

However, even in the 80s and 90s Catholicism was everywhere and really shaped the way our life was organised and understood. I quite enjoyed going to mass on Saturday evening (the choir at this mass was the nicest) and we said our prayers at night and sometimes talked about the readings or sermons at dinner after mass.

My parents were culturally Catholic and naturally quite conservative so they didn't really rock the boat or look to challenge anything about the Church. I don't know how religious or pious they were. The main message I got from them was to be kind to people and that we're all equal in the eyes of God. However, I objected to how women were seen in the religion and it never sat easy with me - even as a child.

Then all of the scandals about csa and the church covering it up came out. We still went to mass at that point but any respect for the authority of priests or bishops went out the window. Then my auntie told my dad that their uncle, a priest, sexually abused her for years as a child. The bishops were aware and moved him on to Japan. At that point we all just kind of stopped going to mass. When we go to weddings and funerals now we've all stopped taking communion.

Then I studied philosophy in university. The ontological question obviously came up and was discussed frequently. I have kind of come to the conclusion that I'm not sure that I believe that there is a God. I find the question of how we as a society use the idea of God to organise ourselves and, for the most part, how it is used to control the sexuality of women more interesting and worth exploring.