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Original poster

My neighbours hate me

20 replies

Railwayroad · 08/04/2023 07:46

I live in a standard suburban street. Been there about 10 years. People mainly keep to themselves. I’ve realised though that our neighbours really don’t like us and I have no idea why!

Most don’t say hello, a couple actively ignore us. The guy across the road passively aggressively walks across the road when I am pulling in to park, deliberately making me stop. Next door parks over our drive occasionally causing us all kinds of issues. Had work done on our house recently and all they did was complain and dump rubbish in our skip.And yes it was all work done considerately as possible.

At one level I don’t really care what people think but on other ways I wonder what the heck we’ve done to offend them. We are considerate neighbours, not noisy or in anyones business. I think they are maybe just unpleasant people. I don’t need to be their friends but life is a bit easier if neighbours can rub along together.

Is this weird? Do most people get on with neighbours?

OP posts:

DustyLee123 · 08/04/2023 07:47

It’s unusual for so many people to dislike you for no reason.

RoseyLentil · 08/04/2023 07:54

We get on with ours which is just as well really as they are our only neighbours - semidetached in rural location. We've been neighbours for about 39 years. They're 10 years ish older than us and moved in about two years after we did. We help each other out with diy and have board games evenings and bbqs all year round. We have similar interests. We're probably unusual though. When we lived in the city in our early twenties the neighbours were more like yours and the ones next to us were horrible- Victorian terraced street. We moved in our mid twenties to were we are now.

SilentHedges · 08/04/2023 07:57

I live in a street of about 40 houses and everyone is friendly. Of course theres people we like more than others, no one is perfect, but we all get on generally. Your situation is unusual.

I did have ask a neighbour not to keep parking and overhanging my dropped kerb as they were making it difficult for me to get out of my drive. It was making me really angry inside! It was resolved peacefully on the spot, but they genuinely looked shocked and said they had "no idea, and thanks for pointing it out". This seems implausible to me, but I accept people sometimes have no idea about their own actions. Are you sure you've not done something to upset everyone? Either that or the neighbours are fabulously immature at dealing with it? Can you ask?

duvetdissident · 08/04/2023 07:59

DustyLee123 · 08/04/2023 07:47

It’s unusual for so many people to dislike you for no reason.

I agree! Do you think you might be being paranoid? Passive aggressive crossing the street?

Whichnumbers · 08/04/2023 08:02

You seem to be the common denominator, if one neighbour perceived to not like you then maybe it’s them. When all your neighbours dislike you I’d wonder if the problem was you.

why not ask?

Original poster

Railwayroad · 08/04/2023 08:08

No I can’t ask really. I was maybe exaggerating as I do speak to some people. But in our section of the street there are 14 houses. There are 3 houses who actively ignore/passive aggressive. A couple who just ignore, the rest I don’t really know I guess but they make no effort to engage even if I smile when I pass.,

I said something to a man sweeping his path along the lines of ‘that looks like hard work’ , trying to be friendly and he sneered at me!

I think we are just unlucky to be in a street with an overrepresentation of unpleasant people maybe.

OP posts:

duvetdissident · 08/04/2023 08:10

" sneered" or did he grimace in agreement?

again, I'm thinking maybe it's just your perception

Original poster

Railwayroad · 08/04/2023 08:16

Crossing the street…..deliberately slowing his walk so I have to wait for him to cross. Another time having car door wide open so I can’t pass. Incidents alone that are small but seen together are weird. And then leaving it like that despite knowing I’m there. Most people would just shut the door and say ‘sorry’. Being asked to move car as blocking drive yet continuing to do it. Even the builder asked them to move as couldn’t get van on. Yet still car there next day.

Don’t mean to drip feed but the car man is verbally abusive to his wife and he knows I know this. That maybe influences his behaviour.the rest I don’t know.

I know I sound paranoid but I am not usually a paranoid person. It’s just odd.

OP posts:

SquashPenguin · 08/04/2023 08:17

I actively avoid my neighbours because I can’t be arsed with the chit chat. I’m not that way inclined! They might just be unsocial like me 😆

Original poster

Railwayroad · 08/04/2023 08:18

duvetdissident · 08/04/2023 08:10

" sneered" or did he grimace in agreement?

again, I'm thinking maybe it's just your perception

Definitely sneered. And tutted and rolled his eyes!

OP posts:

duvetdissident · 08/04/2023 08:19

Railwayroad · 08/04/2023 08:18

Definitely sneered. And tutted and rolled his eyes!

Show quote history

well, you see, I might take that that he was agreeing with me

Pardree · 08/04/2023 08:29

It's probably not about you. Just who they are, what they're dealing with. We have some friendly neighbours and some who keep themselves to themselves. Some a bit miserable. Some who seem odd. Some extremely odd. One fly tipped a load of building waste over our fence. We caught him in the act and asked him to stop. He and his wife are all smiles and chatty as if nothing happened.

blebbleb · 08/04/2023 08:38

I don't think my neighbours like me but I don't care. I often come across as stuck up so I think that's to do with it, but I find them weird and don't like them anyway.

Original poster

Railwayroad · 08/04/2023 08:49

Yeah I shouldn’t care and I don’t really but it is weird I think.

@Pardree that is the kind of thing I would expect in my neighbourhood!

OP posts:

h3ll0o · 08/04/2023 14:35

SquashPenguin · 08/04/2023 08:17

I actively avoid my neighbours because I can’t be arsed with the chit chat. I’m not that way inclined! They might just be unsocial like me 😆

Me too. If someone is actively avoiding you it doesn’t necessarily mean it’s about you, it might be about their personal needs

ThereIsOnlyDocMcStuffins · 08/04/2023 15:08

My guess - the next door neighbor's you have had trouble with have badmouthed you to the rest of the street.

ThereIsOnlyDocMcStuffins · 08/04/2023 15:19

Ah, just read the update about the guy who is abusive to his wife - there you go, a misogynistic bully, that kind of person is not going to hesitate to make up a nasty rumour to discredit you I'm advance.

I don't think you are paranoid at all, I actually think you need to learn to trust your gut on things like this.

Manichean · 08/04/2023 15:23

One neighbour dislikes us and has told us so. She bad mouths us to others and so a few neighbours avoid us. These people are not my mates so it does not bother me too much. Some people have such small lives that this low level unpleasantness gives them a bit of interest. I am generally friendly and feel sorry for them.

Original poster

Railwayroad · 08/04/2023 15:50

ThereIsOnlyDocMcStuffins · 08/04/2023 15:08

My guess - the next door neighbor's you have had trouble with have badmouthed you to the rest of the street.

Yeah wouldn’t surprise me

OP posts:

Pardree · 08/04/2023 20:35

Railwayroad · 08/04/2023 08:49

Yeah I shouldn’t care and I don’t really but it is weird I think.

@Pardree that is the kind of thing I would expect in my neighbourhood!

Yes. They're really weird. I'm sure they're hiding something. There's another one who goes for the paper daily and every day stares through our lounge window. He's never smiled or said hello but is very interested in watching us eat cereal. Luckily our other ndn is extremely nice, which makes up for the weird ones.

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