I’m always paralysed by anxiety but today I’ve really hit a wall.
Our child is ill for the third time this year with a chesty cough which will inevitably lead to antibiotics etc. Whenever this happens we are back and forth to the dr and it’s incredibly stressful with inhalers every five minutes and dh is a hypochondriac who loses his mind and whenever someone in the house is I’ll.
furthermore dh is down and anxious and won’t see a dr let alone a therapist. He constantly thinks he is dying. Won’t listen to me, refuses to see a dr, it’s unbearable.
I buy little things to cheer myself up. I eat chocolate to cheer myself up. Life is bleak and miserable. Dh is always moany and grim and ds is either hard work or ill. I try to be chipper but I’m losing the will.
today I sat for a solid 90 minutes in a state of utter panic and terror in my living room and I couldn’t move. It was like I was stuck.
why am I here? Whats the point of it all? Every day is a struggle and a grind. I don’t get holidays, or nice carefree days out. I feel like I don’t have a life. I can’t do this anymore.