Easter’s all a bit meh

[blackheartsgirl]

Any body else spending Easter alone?

I mean don’t get me wrong, I’m enjoying the four days off (yes I know, I’m lucky) but it’s so lonely.

nearly 2 years since dh died and from Easter onwards all the bad memories are starting to manifest now, and seeing the nice .weather and families all happy in the gardens makes me feel so sad

dds are teens and one is 20, one is away for 2 weeks and the younger two are never in, always at friends.

I did o out this morning, I went to Attingham house, not far from me quite early, beat most of the Easter egg rush, it was heaving by the time I left at twelve and it was lovely, the only adult conversation I’ve had all day is with the cook playing a role in the kitchens there. Stopped for a brew at Ellesmere and then home. Painted some of the fence and now in the bath

I didn’t tell anybody I was going apart from my son who was too tired to care bless him (just up off a night shift) but it occurred to me that no one else would care or is interested , my mum is not well and very self absorbed and the friends I have are the same .

it just hurts that 2 or 3 years ago I wasn’t lonely, now I am. Once the kids leave home I can see me being one of those bodies that they find ina house months later because people just forget.

sorry, not expecting replies, just feels good writing it down

Sounds very hard. Loneliness is a real problem for some people. I would look to join a women's club like WI maybe, if available.

Loneliness is tough. Could you preempt next year and arrange to volunteer somewhere? That might generate some new friends at the same time.

Hi Op
I second that look at as many volunteering opportunities out there, locally and further field,
There are even volunteering opportunities abroad for a short stint or longer,

It's not just charties shops,

You will be susprised at various lots of volunteering opportunities out there

Also look at taking up all kinds of hobbies/interests that you are just curious about what they be like to try out / or and interests you have tried put on back burner due to family demands committee's

See this time of your life, as being a New interesting exciting venture in your life,

Discovering who you are again,

As its easy to somewhat lose your identity as your own person being a mother putting everyone's else needs before yourself most of the time

Also get into habit of treating yourself to Holistic Therapies treatments ,
Trying various Therapies like this,

What about joining a healthspa membership @blackheartsgirl

Jacuzzi sauna hot steam sauna

Mindfulness/meditation yoga , creative Arts

Eventbrite. Com
Is good for interesting talks on interesting subjects online with Arts workshops and other stuff too

Really sorry you’re feeling like this. Is there a club you could join? The gym, swimming, squash. Or a non sports activity if you aren’t into sports! It really does make a world of difference to feel part of something and see familiar people regularily.

Well, it isn't Easter really, is it? It is the fact you have sadly been widowed, and that your dc are now of an age where they are a bit more independent.

Why not call a friend and ask if they want to go for a walk, or a coffee ? Not everyone wants to spend all day every day with their partner or dc, many of us would love to meet a friend for a day out.

Now your dc are a little more independent, what would you enjoy doing with your time ? There are so many things you can do, which not only fill up some of that time, but mean you build relationships with all sorts of new people.

Go along to the Easter service at your local church, OP. You will be made welcome, and there is usually tea and biscuits afterwards when you can have a nice chat.
I was also widowed young (35, with two babies) and the Easter message of Jesus’ triumph over death, and the knowledge that I would one day be reunited with DH, were immensely comforting. Even just singing some of the gorgeous Easter hymns along with the congregation is a great mood lifter.
For the longer term, you need to build a life and friends of your own as your DC grow up and fly the nest to start their own lives. It’s a good time to explore hobbies and take up new interests, which will immediately widen your social circle.
Good luck, OP - things will get a lot better, but you just need to start the ball rolling.
God bless.