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My son is overweight and I feel awful.

14 replies

Userno36373628373732 · 07/04/2023 16:34

Please don’t come at me. I try my best. My son is nearly 12 and autistic. He’s always been somewhat bigger than his peers but never massive but over the last 12 months he’s really gained weight. He’s around 9.5 stone and 145cm tall, looking noticeable bigger and in 14/15 or 15/16 clothes and have to buy him stretchy shorts etc.

I am not an idiot and not in denial about his weight so don’t need to be told this. It’s making me so sad as I was a big kid, he doesn’t seem to care about his weight like j did though.

he only drinks water which is good I guess and doesn’t like sweets but his guilty pleasure is chocolate and he constantly asks for it.

due to being autistic his diet is limited and tends to eat the same things over and over and always seems to be hungry.

I believe his weight gain is down to lack of exercise too. I cannot get him motivated to exercise. In primary we used to walk every day but going on school transport from home means he isn’t doing that anymore. He likes to go for a school lunch as doesn’t like packed lunch foods but the secondary canteen isn’t as healthy as primary.

do you think I should speak to a doctor? Yes his diet is bad and lack of exercise but I believe there hasn’t been any rapid changes (apart from starting secondary school) and the gain has been pretty rapid. Thyroid probs run in our family so might be something to consider. He’s always had a big appetite but nothing to this extent.

I do believe he is sensory seeking by eating too.

it doesn’t help that sometime she goes out with his father (not been together for years) and he’ll let him eat what he wants and how much he wants and when I don’t do the same we get ‘dad let’s me eat that much’.

he is also very aggressive when we say no to more food.

birthday soon and we intend to get him a new bike and get him out on it as much as we can - often hard as I have a dc with a disability which means she cannot ride a bike and too tall and big for any trailers or seats herself!

any other advice?

OP posts:
Bexx87 · 07/04/2023 17:18

I'm in the same situation. One of my kids (10) is autistic and all she wants to do is eat. She is very restrictive on what she does eat but the food she enjoys, she would eat all day long if I allowed her to and she wants constant snacks. Be always needs to be eating something. She is bordering on overweight and I'm struggling to restrict her snacks because she will kick right off, scream and cry if told no. If she asks for crisps and she's just had breakfast, I've started trying to make her wait half an hour instead of saying outright no or letting her have them straight away. My other kids are all healthy weight and although they eat cake and stuff, they know when to stop and don't ask constantly, so it's defo an autistic trait. Sorry I don't have much advice, but I know how hard it is.

PritiPatelsMaker · 07/04/2023 18:26

I'd ask @MNHQ to move this over to the SN section @Userno36373628373732. Getting a DC with ASD to be more healthy and getting a NT DC to do it are two very different things.

You might end up with a lot of very unhelpful advice in Chat.

Schmutter · 07/04/2023 18:30

I don’t think you’ll get useful advice unless you post on the SN board.

Mammyloveswine · 07/04/2023 18:37

Op does your autistic son have an interest he can link with healthy eating and exercise?

My autistic son is ice cream mad and would live off ice cream, however lately he has learned about healthy eating and a balanced plate and has become a bit obsessive with food groups and exercise! He likes to have "number" to work to though so getting 10,000 steps in, weighing out food etc is a great focus for his number focused brain!

The cycling sounds a great idea, is there something you could do to include your daughter also? Maybe swimming??

It doesn't sound like he's particularly big so could be hormonal (ie he'll grow upwards and gain height!) plus he's not had off puberty.

Does he enjoy cooking? Could he help to cook?

Rockbird · 07/04/2023 18:38

Mine too although me and her sister are autistic she isn't. But she is obsessed with food and it shows. It's almost like PWS but I know she definitely doesn't have that. She just loves food but her life is ruled by it. I have no idea what to do with her. She's 11.

eatdrinkandbemerry · 07/04/2023 18:59

My son's autistic with a very restricted diet but fortunately he's slim ( his diet's appalling he's got his dads family's amazing metabolism).
We have recently converted our garage into a gym (I'm a chunk) and have gently encouraged all the kids to join us for fun fitness sessions and our son loves it,and it as the added bonus of tiring him out so his sleep is better too.
Building exercise into your family routine might help x

Someo · 07/04/2023 19:15

My son has similar issues.

He is constantly wanting to eat. Doesn't know when to stop. To the point of obsession.

He doesn't currently have a diagnosis of ASD though it's suspected.

It's incredibly hard to manage.

Disneygirl37 · 07/04/2023 19:30

Sorry I don't have any sn experience but I would try and build exercise into the family routine if you can. Try and make it part of every day life with out making a big deal out of it. A bike ride once or twice a week, maybe a swim at a quiet pool together. Aim for 3 activities a week and you will be making a great start. It's a good time of year to start as the evening are nice and light.
Walk instead of driving as much as you can.

Beautifulsunflowers · 07/04/2023 19:32

i don’t have any experience with children with autism however I just wanted to say that teens eat loads! And then they eat loads more! My experience is with my two boys so not sure if girls are the same but my ds whose now 16 will eat after school whatever’s in the house then a massive dinner then be hungry again 2 hours later!
he’s not overweight though so not really an issue but just wanted to add that your ds’s age will play a part in his hunger.
Good luck op, if this gets moved to the SN board then l sure you’ll get lots of appropriate advice.

FeetOnly · 07/04/2023 19:41

Mine is the same, would constantly eat if we let him. I try to limit what he takes. I let him sort his school bag and discovered he was taking more than one snack so I've had to start checking again. It's tedious always saying no. At meal times, we always start with a salad to try to fill him with lettuce before the meal! During the day I say he has to drink a glass of water and come back in half an hour if he still wants something.

Exercise is so hard when they aren't accepted into any groups and can't deal with team sports. What sports do you do? Can he come with you? Walking, biking or individual sports?

Luredbyapomegranate · 07/04/2023 19:44

Start with talking to your doctor, you want to access support for this.

It’s going to be more complicated with an SN child with probably lots of trial and error

Marypoppinsnsnortscoke · 07/04/2023 19:50

An indoor trampoline can be very soothing and regulating. If you pop a brain break on YouTube with what he is interested in, Minecraft, Roblox, Fortnite etc. He can exercise but have fun. Plus you can have a turn. They are expensive but if you get DLA for the kids it's a worthwhile investment 🙂. Also I know it's extreme but locks on the cupboards. Sadly some kids can never regulate their food, or they take a long time. You are doing your best!

FeetOnly · 07/04/2023 20:18

There are also lots of things he could do at home. Nintendo switch ring fit, exercise bike, yoga, suspension trainer, swing ball, soft archery kit if you have a garden.

Does he realise he is unfit and does he want to do sport?

Marypoppinsnsnortscoke · 07/04/2023 20:39

Boxing is good!

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