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Original poster

Supplying drink to 17 year olds

16 replies

Fullofpudding · 07/04/2023 15:03

My son wants to invite some friends round for his birthday. He's asked if we can have some alcohol. They are a nice bunch of friends and they have a few drinks round each others houses if there's a party.

I'm happy to supply drink but I don't want to be that parent who supplies alcohol when really I shouldn't. I'd rather supply and monitor what is brought rather than them bring all sorts along.

So my question is would it be wrong to supply alcohol to 17 year olds?

OP posts:
FTMUM2023 · 07/04/2023 15:08

Ask their parents?

Motheranddaughter · 07/04/2023 15:11

No I didn’t
Mine didn’t really drink until they were 18 and DS2 doeodrink at all

Original poster
Fullofpudding · 07/04/2023 15:11

As they are in 6th form I don't know any of their parents otherwise I'd ask

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Oakyloaky · 07/04/2023 15:12

I would get a few beers …am sure it’s not the first time they have had alcohol!

Nishky32 · 07/04/2023 15:12

some partied my two went to had the rule that guests brought their own alcohol- as then it was presumably (although not necessarily) sanctioned by their own parents

TheHomeEdit · 07/04/2023 16:02

Fullofpudding · 07/04/2023 15:11

As they are in 6th form I don't know any of their parents otherwise I'd ask

Then you tell your son to pass on your contact details to their parents. Just tell him he can have the party he wants but all parents need to be aware that alcohol will be available and that you need a contact number for all guests. He can decide if he wants to host or not based on that basis.

FTMUM2023 · 07/04/2023 16:14

TheHomeEdit · 07/04/2023 16:02

Then you tell your son to pass on your contact details to their parents. Just tell him he can have the party he wants but all parents need to be aware that alcohol will be available and that you need a contact number for all guests. He can decide if he wants to host or not based on that basis.

Show quote history

Yeh I agree. I would not risk supplying alcohol for underage at all - you never know what May happen and you could get the blame etc.

if you could make contact with the parents and agree for them to send what they are happy for their kid to drink maybe, or they give written permission for you to supply.

it’s just what if someone has an accident from being drunk or so, and their parents didn’t know they had alcohol then find out it was supplied by another grown up ?

they might already drink but it’s not a risk i would be willing to take. You never know what could happen and how people could respond to it.

skippy67 · 07/04/2023 16:31

I wouldn't provide alcohol for them, but I'd have no issue with them drinking their own.

Iwantthepenthouse · 07/04/2023 17:08

I'd buy my own 17 year old alcohol but not someone else's unless I had permission.
It's not a morality thing, I just don't want to be responsible for other kids to that degree.

over50andfab · 07/04/2023 17:31

My kids had loads of parties at ours growing up. My policy was that when underage they supplied their own as presumed their parents would have provided it. I also had a policy of no spirits or shots when under 18. They respected this.

DD1 went to a party once when under 18 and alcohol was provided. One of the other kids got drunk, fell over and broke something. This did not go down well with their parents…

PussBilledDuckyPlait · 07/04/2023 17:36

They bring their own but you set rules (and check) what they have brought - say, no spirits or fortified wines.

Original poster
Fullofpudding · 07/04/2023 17:37

Thanks everyone. I'll get them to bring their own along. They are a sensible bunch so hopefully they won't be silly. I'll provide the snacks instead Grin

OP posts:
Godlovesall26 · 07/04/2023 17:47

Yes I’d strongly advise you like PP to contact the parents. At 17 it can feel overboard, but that’s not your problem, next year they do whatever they want, this is your legal and moral responsibility on the line : I had a friend (not a minor, 20s, nothing in particular about her drinking (as in excessive etc), just didn’t tolerate it one night and vomited and ended up in ICU with aspiration pneumonia (late into the party, by the time people figured she’d actually lost consciousness and wasn’t just sleeping, ambulance time, she really nearly died). I’d absolutely never take the responsibility in my own home

Godlovesall26 · 07/04/2023 17:51

Godlovesall26 · 07/04/2023 17:47

Yes I’d strongly advise you like PP to contact the parents. At 17 it can feel overboard, but that’s not your problem, next year they do whatever they want, this is your legal and moral responsibility on the line : I had a friend (not a minor, 20s, nothing in particular about her drinking (as in excessive etc), just didn’t tolerate it one night and vomited and ended up in ICU with aspiration pneumonia (late into the party, by the time people figured she’d actually lost consciousness and wasn’t just sleeping, ambulance time, she really nearly died). I’d absolutely never take the responsibility in my own home

As for sensible, it was basically an extremely unfortunate accident (she recovered) as they weren’t heavy drinkers or anything, just a regular party. But it would have been on you (when it really wouldn’t have been, as I said she was older, etc). Really wouldn’t risk it if I were you. It’s not a huge proportion of people but some people are going to end up statistically in it….
And if your son feels embarrassed, this is a great opportunity for all to learn more about it, it saves lives (and re embarrassed I would hope it’s a reasoning everyone could understand)

Godlovesall26 · 07/04/2023 17:59

And added to that, it’s a good opportunity to educate any of them who don’t know to always keep an eye on each other and always check if someone vomits, seems asleep (are they actually breathing?), not hesitate to call parents at the slightest doubt etc. I don’t think anyone could begrudge you that.
Its easy to check if someone’s breathing, and if they’re old enough to want to party between friends, they’re old enough to learn to protect themselves between friends (again, she wasn’t the life of the party, although probably more ‘lightweight’, I just remember that her alcohol bloods weren’t through the roof, that’s one of the reasons why it stuck in minds).

If there’s unhappiness somehow, I’d honestly not want that risk at my house.

UsingChangeofName · 07/04/2023 18:47

TheHomeEdit · 07/04/2023 16:02

Then you tell your son to pass on your contact details to their parents. Just tell him he can have the party he wants but all parents need to be aware that alcohol will be available and that you need a contact number for all guests. He can decide if he wants to host or not based on that basis.

Show quote history

Don't be daft.
They are 17, not 7.
I would be pleased my dc were comfortable inviting their friends to our home, not putting them off the whole idea.

I wouldn't provide alcohol though.
When all of mine were that age, people took their own drink to parties.

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