Grandparent relationships between older teens/young adult grandchildren

[redskylight]

I live 4 hours away from my parents and the DC and I see them 2 or 3 times a year for 2 or 3 days at a time (mix of they come to us or we go to them). As time has gone by the DC (now a teen and a young adult) are more and more reluctant to visit and the visits have become shorter and further apart.

I also speak to my parents every couple of weeks. When the DC were younger we talked a lot about how they were getting on, things they were doing at school, activities they were involved with, issues they were having etc. As they've got older it doesn't feel appropriate to talk about them behind their backs, so I keep our conversation fairly bland "doing well at school", "tends to just spend the weekends with friends".

My parents complain that they hardly know anything about their grandchildren any more. However, my DC both have phones, they are a older teen and a young adult ... I don't think it's my job to act as a conduit of information. If my parents want to know more about their grandchildren, they can surely contact them directly?

So just wondered how others' teens/young adults relationships with their grandparents work? Is it still up to you to facilitate them? If so, when does this stop!?

I speak to DM twice a week and we see each other at least once a month.
She has 7 GC altogether, all ranging from 14-19, but teens are a funny breed so she wouldn’t dream of phoning any of her grandchildren on their mobiles tbh.
They have a relationship because we drive over to see her and because I do keep her up to date with my DC’s life. I used to drive over and visit my DGM every couple of weeks when I was my DC’s age but it seems life is a lot different for teens these days.

Do you parents come and visit you? Sometimes teens are more willing to join in when it's dinner at home or watching a match on TV than travelling 4 hours. My dc talk so kindly about their deseased GP now and most of their memories come from childhood. They were lucky to have some into adulthood but the relationship only renewed in late teens when they came out of that fog. Neither GPS would contact dc but they would visit us at times during the year so dc would have that contact.
My own dgc is now entering teens with their own phone and l do message and sent her pictures just to keep in touch between visits. So maybe GPS could message when they know they have stuff on like an exam or a trip and chat over and back. I think calling is a no go. I would keep them updated on the dcs activities but not their personal iissues.l would also encourage dc to send pictures and updates to GPS as they need to know how much that is appreciated.

DD is bored if we stay too long at my dad's so I do a mix of shorter trips more frequently to his/him to us (go for one night not several) or we meet in the middle for lunch. We do go away together occasionally for a few days and that is more interesting than her having to hang out with him in a house. He probably texts her twice a year and I give brief highlights when I speak to him.
Her GPS on the other side text her all the time and she hates it, it causes lots of conflict. I get that they miss her terribly and feel very out of her life and what's happening but she feels bombarded with contact and so ignores them.